It’s true. Vacation sex is better than at-home sex.

The simple reason for better vacation sex: Because you are someone else when you are somewhere else, because you are able to leave all your every day garbage behind.

The complicated reason: The part of your brain that is associated with stress is also associated with your orgasm. No joke.

When you are worried, preoccupied, nervous, etc. your sex drive goes into decline. A small sex drive and a stressful weight on your chest means you’re less likely to have an orgasm.

On the other hand, when you are on vacation you manage to leave a lot of that behind you. The vacation version of you is eating good food, soaking up the sunshine, doing your favorite activities, spending time with someone you love, or meeting new people that make your heart go pitter patter. All of these activities make you feel more confident and more energetic.

When you are happy your brain releases dopamine, which is a hormone that leaves you feeling a bit euphoric. Add the dopamine on top of your stress-free mind and body, and you have one rockin’ night of sex.

There are, of course, a few more reasons why vacation sex is better and more frequent. For example, you don’t have to set your alarm or go to work. And then top that off with the fact that you are probably drunk.

Here’s to vacation sex. I hope you get to have some soon.

A recent article on CNN.com talked about how Kenyan women are withholding sex in order to motivate political change.

The coalition government in Kenya has become increasingly divided after the 2008 election. Since that time, little has been done to resolve major issues in the country, yet more bickering is taking place among the higher-ups over non-critical issues. Some activists feel this is a woman’s issue because it is mostly woman’s causes that are suffering the most.  To bring attention, they are asking woman– even sex workers — to withhold sex.

The organization G-10, which is an umbrella organization for various women’s agencies including the Centers for Rights Education and Awareness and the Federation of Women Lawyers in Kenya, organized the “sex-out.” Spokespeople from a number of groups have said that while this type of activism is a little funny, it will at least get the point across.

For a time I thought everyone cheated in relationships. I didn’t think this because I grew up watching my parental figures move around in relationships (my parents are still married) and not because I am a cheater myself (never cheated, nope).

I thought everyone cheated because infidelity is so prevalent in pop culture. I mean, what happens in Hollywood is happening in real life, right?

Another reason I was convinced everyone cheated is because of the dozens of horrible stories I’ve heard from friends who have described their pain over cheating husbands, girlfriends, etc. I guess I didn’t stop to consider the fact that I’ve heard more happy love stories than not-so-happy love stories.

Moral of the story: I believed in some certifiable cheating-spouse hype.

It actually turns out that most people don’t cheat. I don’t think the “real” number of cheaters can be known, but according to a US News and World Report article, the percentage of cheating spouses is actually somewhere between 11% and 18%.

So what do you think?

Not for every one and not all the time, but some times we do cry after orgasms. The tears I describe are not necessarily tears of sadness, although I know that happens too.

What I’m talking about is the totally unexpected cry that surprises you and your partner after a nice romp.

These tears are a consequence of the hormone oxytocin, which is released from pituitary glands after an orgasm. Oxytocin is released in smaller amounts after other forms of human touch, such as a hug and breast feeding (for women, obviously).  Oxytocin sends a rush of warm, positive emotions throughout the body making you feel very relaxed, even sleepy.

Oxytocin is a feel-good hormone that could give you a sense of euphoria and a desire for more human touch. This is why so many of us want to cuddle or fall asleep after sex.

Euphoria is a joyful feeling, which is what sometimes sparks the tears. You feel comfortable, you feel close to your partner, and you just feel so darn happy that before you know it the waterworks show has started.

Don’t fight it. Just enjoy the rush and have a good cry.

Planned Parenthood has this very creative Web site dedicated to sex, STDs, and getting tested. It’s called TakeCareDownThere.org and really the name says it all. Take care down there or who knows what crazy disease or infection might creep in. Anyway, there are nine different videos featuring a cast of goofy characters dealing with issues in sex. I think Planned Parenthood did a good job both creatively and in fulfilling their mission so I suggest you check it out. My favorite video of all the videos is the “Down There Song.” I mean who wouldn’t like a song that included the words hum-diddler, sloppy slappilow, and gherkin.

Ever wonder about your street cred when it comes to kissing? Me too. This topic has been on my mind lately, which you probably know after reading my post “Dear Ex-Boyfriend, You Were a Bad Kisser.” Well here you go again, if any of the following things have happened to you, then its time to improve your skills. Pucker up people. Kiss well and kiss often. 

1) You’re done kissing and she wipes her cheek with the back of her hand.

2) She hands you a piece gum immediately afterward.

3) You say things like “Wanna go park?” or “Wanna neck?”

4) She doesn’t kiss you during foreplay.

5) She pulls away abruptly and gives you a funny look.

6) She says: “Where’d you learn that?” or “We can hold hands instead.”

7) She stops you and says, “Try this instead.”

Dear Bad Kisser:

I didn’t say anything because I didn’t want to offend you or hurt your feelings by shrieking in disgust after our first kiss. Many times I liked you and didn’t want to ruin “a good thing” by being so picky about something as small as a kiss. But the reality is that a kiss is no small thing and doing it right is critical in any relationship. So since I didn’t say anything then, I’m saying something now. You are a horrible kisser! Fix this for the next girl, you’ll thank me for it later.

If you do anything on the below list, then you know I’m talking to you.

Sincerely,

Your Ex-Girlfriend

Teeth Licker: You like the feel of teeth on your tongue and that’s weird. There is zero feeling on my enamel and it does nothing more than make me forget the goodness of kissing.

Tongue Thruster: I don’t have a sensitive gag reflex. I have a normal gag reflex and was just reacting to you thrusting your tongue so far back in my throat.

Face Licker: I think you were trying to be sensual (or maybe just lazy), by kissing and licking my face. This was just messy and distracting.

The Boring One: You avoided tongue altogether and prefered quick, stiff kisses. Although sweet pecks here and there are nice, enough is enough!

The Unprepared One: Use toothpaste, mouthwash, floss, and chap stick on a daily basis. This is not optional.

Ear Sticker: Your wet, juicy tongue in the ear was so loud! And it gave me the willies. A little bit of tongue goes a long way.

Over-Ambitious One: After one kiss you tried to unbutton and unzip. If you had only taken your time…

The Constant Kisser: Every half a second you were pecking here and there, here and there. Pick a spot and give it some quality attention.

The Tongue Twirler: Your acrobatic tongue was fun, but hard to keep up with. It’s like a dance, be a good leader not a wild wiggling machine.

The Face Smasher: It is a misconception that the harder you kiss and press up against someone, the better the kiss. You squished my nose and impaired my breathing. You also gave me a sore cheek bone from too much cheek on cheek action.

A study was done over 30 years ago by the University of British Columbia in Vancouver that basically analyzed the sexual arousal of people on a scary bridge. Sounds odd and fairly simple, I know, but the results are interesting.

Basically it was discovered that in moments of high anxiety we are more likely to find someone attractive, fall in love with someone, or have an orgasm. Considering the age of this study I know that much has been written about the findings, but after I read it I had a great discovery myself: Romantic comedies could actually be accurate!

For much of my adult life I’ve scoffed at films like Serendipity, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Bridget Jones’ Diary, and others, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe it is easier, even likely, to fall in love with someone when you’re about to get married, your job is at stake, or when someone you’re dating is thrown through a restaurant window.

Maybe all these years I’ve been narrow minded in believing that love is only found in safe, healthy ways when really its more common in unsafe and unhealthy ways. Like when you are hanging on to a bouncing bridge.

So to all you nay sayers like me, have a second look at the movies you once avoided. And to those of you looking for love, try extreme sports. Maybe you’ll find your soul mate, or better yet, maybe you’ll have an orgasm.

Or, at least that’s what this guy says: “My forecast is that around 2050, the state of Massachusetts will be the first jurisdiction to legalize marriages with robots,” artificial intelligence researcher David Levy at the University of Maastricht in the Netherlands told LiveScience.

I found this article on MSNBC.com and I’m just overwhelmed by it. Robots, really?

I suppose the robot wouldn’t be like the robot of yore.

Maybe the robots would be so lifelike you couldn’t tell the difference.

But does that make it ok? According to this Levy guy it absolutely is, and maybe to all the male-haters or female-haters out there, it’d be a good thing. I mean, we’ve all looked for the off switch on our partner from time to time, so I see the benefit.

However, there is something to be said for the human connection and genuine experiences. I feel the same way about frozen dinners. Why eat the pre-packaged, perservative-filled chicken filet when you can make a yummier, healthier version on your own?

The same goes for love. Make it real or count me out.