I have tried online dating on three separate occasions. The first time I was terrified and the second time I was frustrated. The third time was better because I finally read-up on the topic, asked my friends what they were writing online, and experimented with my profile until I got the attention I wanted.
Do yourself a favor and don’t make the same mistakes I made.
Mistake Number One: Ignore Your Competition
I went weeks without ever looking at other women’s profiles. It didn’t occur to me that I should one-up my competition. It’s important to compare yourself to others and make your profile stand out. Do a search of women in your zip code have a picture of themselves watching a baseball game? If so, maybe you should have a picture of yourself playing the game.
Mistake Number Two: Never Change Your Photo
I used the same picture the first two times I was on Match.com. Before I signed up the third time I browsed men between the ages of 26 and 35 in my zip code and ran across a guy I’d seen on my first-go-round. I looked at his profile and quickly changed my mind about writing him because his profile was exactly the same. I thought this meant he wasn’t into impressing anyone. This motivated me to pick a new photo for myself and change my profile a bit every couple of weeks.
Mistake Number Three: Upload the Wrong Photo
It’s safe to assume that we’ve all been in relationships before, or have a friend of the opposite sex that likes to hug or hang on us. Avoid photos with other people or photos where it’s obvious someone has been cut out.
I think that pictures with puppies and babies are cheap. Nice try.
And then, of course, are the photos of you in your bathing suit. It’s great that you’re hot and want to tell someone, but keep it classy.
Mistake Number Four: Write a Novel
The written portions of your profile should never be too long. Our attention spans just won’t withstand the 580 words describing your ideal date. Save the novel for the second, third and fourth e-mails because that will certainly let him or her know you’re interested.
Mistake Number Five: Put on a Broken Record
It is difficult to make yourself sound unique on paper. But doing so might be the most important aspect of an online profile. Really focus on your distinctive attributes like the fact that sometimes your eyes are green and sometimes they are hazel, depending on what you wear. Avoid cliche phrases like, “My friends say that I’m… or I’m laid back.”
Mistake Number Six: Wear Your Heart on Your Sleeve
No one cares that you just broke up, or that you’ve been hurt before. Let me take that back, everyone looking at your profile cares, but not in a good way. Don’t say things like, “I just got out of a relationship and am just looking to have fun” or “I’ve had bad luck finding a good man, and now I’m here to find Mr. Right.” It’s ok that you’re heart-broken; just keep it to yourself or you risk scaring a lot of great suitors away.
Mistake Number Seven: Forget to Get a Second Opinion
Let’s be honest, it’s hard to write about yourself. The best thing you can do is ask a good friend to help you write your profile, or at least review it for you. If that’s not an option, there are many profile writing services around to help you out for a small fee.
Online dating is not hard, and shouldn’t be scary. If you have the right attitude and keep your expectation realistic as you should do in all types of dating the outcome will only be positive.
