Created by World Renowned Hypnotherapist Steve G. Jones and Dating Expert Carlos Xuma, The Date Mentors Program is Designed to Help Men Connect with Women in the Areas of Dating and Attraction.
The Date Mentors Program

Online dating has become a popular option for singles today, especially in an age of instant technology and busy schedules. Each year more and more singles are turning to the web to enhance their dating life and many are enjoying success. More marriages than ever are occurring between people who met first online. Of course, if you’re interested in finding the love of your life, you need to learn how to best use the services available.

Here is a look at some great internet dating tips that will help you improve your experience on the web when trying to find love.

Tip #1 – Choose a Service That Works for You

One of the most important internet dating tips to remember is to choose a service that works for you. There are so many services available today that it can be tough to figure out which one will meet your needs. There are general services, relationship services, social networking sites, niche dating websites, and more.

Take a look at all the options and consider what you’re really looking for in a date. Do you just want a fun date, are you looking for a specific demographic when it comes to a potential lover, or friend, or are you looking for something serious that results in marriage? Ask yourself these questions and choose a service that will meet the individual needs and desires that you have.

Tip #2 – Build a Quality Profile Online

Once you have chosen a good service, another of the important online dating tips to follow is to build a quality profile online. Don’t leave your profile blank or you’ll definitely have a tough time finding a match. Possible matches are going to be checking out your profile, which means you need to develop a profile that will show who you really are. Make your profile interesting and positive. Avoid being negative or you’ll turn people off when they see your background information. If people look at your profile and they find it interesting, they are more likely to contact you.

Tip #3 – Ensure You Post Good Photos

If you’re going to try to date online, ensuring that you post good photos is one of the best online dating tips. After all, while looks are definitely not everything, your attention is often captured by what you see. While you may be tempted to just post a generic picture, this probably won’t really cut it today. You need a picture on your profile that shows who you really are. You want to look great and you want to look like you’re having a great time. If people find your photos attractive and intriguing, you’ll have better results trying to find love online.

Tip #4 – Be Yourself and Avoid Lies

It is also very important that you be yourself and avoid any lies. It is tempting to make yourself sound a little better by lying about the job you hold, how much you make, or even your age. If you really want to find something real on the web, you need to be real. Lying is not only disrespectful to those you meet on the internet, but it also will come around at some point in time. You don’t want to find someone you really like, only to drive them away when they find out that you lied. Keep everything truthful and you’ll have better luck finding the one you want.

Tip #5 – Learn About and Practice Online Dating Safety

Of course, one of the most important tips is to make sure that you practice online dating safety. While there are many success stories, there are also stories of online relationships that have gone wrong. Keep yourself safe with the following safety internet dating tips:

-Listen to Your Gut – One of the most important things to remember is to always listen to your gut. If something doesn’t feel right, trust that feeling. It could save your life.

-Avoid Giving Personal Information Right Away – If someone is pushing for your information, beware. You should never give out that information right away. Keep your phone number, address, and other information to yourself until later.

-Watch Out for Negative Characteristics – If you notice negative characteristics like anger, avoiding questions, or even acting controlling, you may want to avoid that person.

- Always Meet in Public for the First Date – To keep yourself safe, always meet in a public place for the first date. Make sure you tell someone where you are going too.

With these online dating tips you can enjoy fun, excitement, and success when looking for love online. Always follow these tips if you want to find someone special.

No, of course you don’t – no way! But a recent study made by OKCupid shows that “white lies” are common.

When looking for love online, people think they’re 2 inches taller. That’s not all they lie about, says the founder of one online dating service.

Unlike most online dating sites, OkCupid matches its more than 3.5 million users based on their answers to various quizzes. The data help make matches, but site co-founder Christian Rudder tells NPR’s Audie Cornish the information also reveals some truths we might prefer others didn’t know.

Like plumping up a salary. “People statistically add about $20,000 to their yearly income when they’re kind of putting it out there,” Rudder says.

Rudder analyzes the data from the site, looking for ways to improve the matchmaking process. The trends that emerged inspired him to share some of the more entertaining results.

“We thought that maybe the public would want to see some of the stuff, too,” Rudder says. “We would take more interesting findings and polish them up for people to read.”

Thus was born OkTrends, a blog that analyzes user data culled from the dating site.

‘The REAL Stuff White People Like‘

The results don’t always paint the site’s users in the best light. Take one recent blog post titled “The REAL Stuff White People Like,” in which Rudder and his team tried to identify top interests by race and gender.

Initially, the results were disappointing. “Almost everybody loves Italian food,” he says.

But after tweaking the algorithm, they started seeing something intriguing: People’s interests tended to fit gender and racial stereotypes.

For example, top interests for white men included Tom Clancy, Van Halen, golfing and Harley Davidson. Top interests for black women were soul food, The Color Purple, gospel and Alicia Keys.

“That post, in particular, I think, was there just as entertainment,” Rudder says. “Of course, it was a little bit expected that it would be so stereotypical.”

So what was accomplished? Rudder admits he’s not sure. “But I think people enjoyed reading that stuff.”

Not So Lovable Qualities

Other OkTrends posts have revealed more somber realities about general attitudes in the OkCupid community and the online dating world in general.

One such entry was “How Your Race Affects The Messages You Get.”

“We found some kind of depressing things,” Rudder says. “Foremost, that black people get the worst response rate across the board — not just from white people, but from everyone. Yet black people give the most responses per message sent to them. It’s a weird imbalance.”

Rudder says he was particularly surprised by these results. Although many users claim to be open to dating people of other races, it rarely happens on OKCupid.

It’s amazing how picky people actually are, Rudder says, and how often they misrepresent themselves.

“But also I’m amazed that so many people are, like, bold enough to put themselves out there and meet basically total strangers online and then eventually in person,” he says.

I guess we kind of knew already, but now it’s official…

Researchers have discovered that women should wear  red clothes to grab the guys attention.

It is not just the singer Chris de Burgh, who is fond of dancing girls in red. A group of researchers have now discovered that men generally prefer women who have red clothes on, according to the British newspaper The Daily Mail.

The study, which has just been published in the journal European Journal of Social Psychology, concludes that women in red are better at attracting men’s attention. Additionally, men are more flirtatious when they’re with women wearing red clothes, and they also want to move closer to these women.
Women in red makes men… well – horny

It’s a research team from the University of Rochester in the state of New York, who conducted the survey. A group of men were shown  some pictures of some “fairly attractive” women who wore blue clothes.

Another group of men were shown women in red clothing, and according to the researchers, these men acted far more playful and humorous, when they subsequently were to describe them.

Afterwards, all the men were told that they could meet these  women. The men who had seen the pictures of the women in red generally chose to sit closer to the chair where they figured that the woman would sit.

Red signals fertility

According to Niesta Kayser, who has been involved in the study, the phenomenon has its roots in the early evolution. The red color signals fertility, and therefore women in red generally is considered a better catch when it comes to finding a partner who can secure the family, by having some children.
It seems, according to Niesta Kayser, that this is also seen on many of the Internet dating sites. The women who have a profile picture, where they wear red clothes, received on average more inquiries from interested parties.

“Women should definitely wear a red shirt or a red dress when they are getting ready for a date with a man they want,” says Kayser Niesta to The Daily Mail.

Women also wants me in red

However, it’s not only women who should wear red clothes if they will improve their scoring potential. A research that was published a few months ago, showed that men also appears more attractive to women if they have a few red shirts in the closet. According to research, women are attracted sexually to men who have red clothes on.

“Traditionally speaking, red is considered a sexy color when it comes to women dresses, but our findings suggest that the relationship between the color red and sexual attraction also is true for men,”  researcher Andrew Elliot of the University of Rochester writes in the conclusion.

Speed-dating has become enormously popular around the world over the last few years, and it’s not hard to understand why. It’s the distillation of dating to a simple snap judgment. Everyone who sits down at one of those tables are trying to answer a very simple question: Do I want to see this person again? And to answer that, we don’t need an entire evening. We really need only a few minutes.

Velma, for instance, said that she picked none of the men and that she made up her mind about each of them right away. “They lost me at hello,” she said, rolling her eyes. Ron, who worked as a financial analyst at an investment bank, picked two of the women, one of whom he settled on after about a minute and a half of conversation and one of whom, Lillian at table two, he decided on the instant he sat down across from her. “Her tongue was pierced,” he said, admiringly. “You come to a place like this and you expect a bunch of lawyers. But she was a whole different story.” Lillian liked Ron, too. “You know why?” she asked. “He’s from Louisiana. I loved the accent. And I dropped my pen, just to see what he would do, and he picked it up right away.”

As it turned out, lots of the women there liked Ron the instant they met him, and lots of the men liked Lillian the instant they met her. Both of them had a kind of contagious, winning spark. “You know, girls are really smart,” Jon, a medical student in a blue suit, said at the end of the evening. “They know in the first minute, Do I like this guy, can I take him home to my parents, or is he just a wham-bam kind of jerk?” Jon is quite right, except it isn’t just girls who are smart. When it comes to quick assessment of potential dates, pretty much everyone is smart.

The funny thing though, is that when we are asked what we look for in a potential partner our actions does not match our initial list.

Two professors (Fisman and Iyengar) made a speed-dating experiment at the back of the West End Bar on Broadway, across the street from the Columbia campus. They are identical to standard New York speed-dating evenings, with one exception. Their participants don’t just date and then check the yes or no box. On four occasions—before the speed-dating starts, after the evening ends, a month later, and then six months after the speed-dating evening—they have to fill out a short questionnaire that asks them to rate what they are looking for in a potential partner on a scale of 1 to 10. The categories are attractiveness, shared interests, funny/ sense of humor, sincerity, intelligence, and ambition. In addition, at the end of every “date,” they rate the person they’ve just met, based on the same categories. By the end of one of their evenings, then, the professors have an incredibly detailed picture of exactly what everyone says they were feeling during the dating process. And it’s when you look at that picture that the strangeness starts.

As one professor explains:

At the Columbia session, I paid particular attention to a young woman with pale skin and blond, curly hair and a tall, energetic man with green eyes and long brown hair. I don’t know their names, but let’s call them Mary and John. I watched them for the duration of their date, and it was immediately clear that Mary really liked John and John really liked Mary. John sat down at Mary’s table. Their eyes locked. She looked down shyly. She seemed a little nervous. She leaned forward in her chair. It seemed, from the outside, like a perfectly straightforward case of instant attraction. But let’s dig below the surface and ask a few simple questions. First of all, did Mary’s assessment of John’s personality match the personality that she said she wanted in a man before the evening started? In other words, how good is Mary at predicting what she likes in a man?

Fisman and Iyengar can answer that question really easily, and what they find when they compare what speed-daters say they want with what they are actually attracted to in the moment is that those two things don’t match. For example, if Mary said at the start of the evening that she wanted someone intelligent and sincere, that in no way means she’ll be attracted only to intelligent and sincere men. It’s just as likely that John, whom she likes more than anyone else, could turn out to be attractive and funny but not particularly sincere or smart atall. Second, if all the men Mary ends up liking during the speed-dating are more attractive and funny than they are smart and sincere, on the next day, when she’s asked to describe her perfect man, Mary will say that she likes attractive and funny men. But that’s just the next day. If you ask her again a month later, she’ll be back to saying that she wants intelligent and sincere.

You can be forgiven if you found the previous paragraph confusing. It is confusing: Mary says that she wants a certain kind of person. But then she is given a roomful of choices and she meets someone whom she really likes, and in that instant she completely changes her mind about what kind of person she wants. But then a month passes, and she goes back to what she originally said she wanted. So what does Mary really want in a man?

“I don’t know,” Iyengar said when I asked her that question. “Is the real me the one that I described beforehand?”

She paused, and Fisman spoke up: “No, the real me is the me revealed by my actions. That’s what an economist would say.”

Iyengar looked puzzled. “I don’t know that’s what a psychologist would say.”

They couldn’t agree. But then, that’s because there isn’t a right answer. Mary has an idea about what she wants in a man, and that idea isn’t wrong. It’s just incomplete. The description that she starts with is her conscious ideal: what she believes she wants when she sits down and thinks about it. But what she cannot be as certain about are the criteria she uses to form her preferences in that first instant of meeting someone face-to- face. That information is behind the locked door in our unconscious mind.

The above discussion is exactly why I recommend not creating lists of your ideal partner and not creating lists of who you are, when writing an online dating profile. Instead write about what you actually do, what you like to do in your spare time, what you like about your job. And be specific. Instead of writing: “I like reading good books” write about the last book you read – good or bad. Don’t describe who you are – show it!

But what are your experiences on this matter? Are you constantly attracted to other types of persons than you say you are?

Men receives an incredible amount of female attention on dating sites if they are photographed with his pet. For women, this has the opposite effect.

Pet or no pet?

Women on dating sites should never be photographed with their animal if they want to attract men. In turn, men should definitely show their pet in order to attract the female gender. That is, if they have a pet of course J. New, comprehensive analysis of dating sites reveals the pitfalls of dating profile photos.

If your inbox is littered with messages from beautiful women or men on your dating site, you’ve without doubt chosen the right profile picture. On the other hand, if you get no mails, you’ve probably chosen one of the images that directly turns off the opposite sex.

A new photographic analysis, conducted by the dating site OkCupid among 7,140 of their total 3.5 million users, reveals just how to get as many contacts as possible solely based on your profile photo.

Guide to women:
How to take pictures that sparks the interest in men

Guide to Men:
Take the perfect dating profile photo

It turns out, that there are huge differences in what kind of pictures men and women use on dating sites. More than half of the women smile – either friendly or flirtatious. But for guys the “smiling ratio” is only one in three.

And with good reason. Men who are looking with a mysterious facial expressions towards the horizon, gets 50 percent more inquiries than those who smile politely to the camera lens.

The photo analysis also reveals that women never should pose with their cat if they want more masculine attention. If they do, the number of mails in their inbox decreases  with 40 percent compared to the average dating profiles.

The opposite is true for male profile photos: getting their picture taken with their pet on the shoulder attract the opposite sex big time. In fact, being photographed with their pet is the most effective motive when it comes to attracting women. “But I don’t have a pet” you might say – don’t worry. It turn out that are two other motives that works almost as well. Check them out here.

Cleavage works

Although the furry creatures has a negative effect on women’s chances for a date, the female sex has another weapon that generates many mails: the cleavage.

“As one might expect, many women receive fewer and fewer inquiries, as they get older. But they can counteract this trend by showing a little cleavage. A 32-year-old showing some cleavage actually receives more new contacts per. month than a 18-year-old who does not reveal anything of the breasts, “says Christian Rudder from OkCupid, who has avoided the model-like profiles in his investigation and instead has based his figures on average people.

Now, I  agree with Christian Rudder that your profile picture has an enormous impact on the number of inquiries you receive from other users. The dating market is huge and it is much faster for people to evaluate profile photos, than to start reading the profile texts. Moreover most of us focuses, unfortunately, on the same thing: appearance. Which is why people with attractive photos receives far more inquiries than those with a bad profile picture.

In my experience though, you should definitely have a picture on your profile, regardless of how you look. People without photo gets only one tenth inquiries compared to photo profiles.

Are you unsure which picture to use on your profile? Let me help you out choosing the right one and guide you to write the perfect profile text. Click here.

What is your experience with profile photos? Have you tried the “pet trick” and how did it work out for you? Let me hear all your good advice on what has worked well for you previously – and also what definitely didn’t work for you.

To take pictures that arouse men’s interest:

1. Always keep eye contact with the camera. This is preferred by the vast majority of men.

2. Smile or send flirty eyes to the camera. Do not look serious or lipped out.

3. For women of all ages, the number of male interest increases, if they show a little cleavage. A 18 year old showing cleavage is 24 percent more likely to be contacted and a 32 year old woman receives a staggering 79 percent more inquiries, if she shows cleavage.

Also read – Guide to Men:
How to take pictures that sparks interest in women

Bonus features

The three most effective ‘bonus features’ female online daters between 18-30 years should use in her profile photo:

1. Pictures taken by the woman herself, from a vantage point where she looks flirty into the camera. This is called the ‘MySpace’ motif.

2. Photos where the woman sits / lies in her bed.

3. Outdoor / active photos

And the three least effective:

3. Hanging out with girlfriends pictures.

2. Photos where the woman drinks alcohol.

1. Photos, where women pose with her cat / dog.

What is your experience? Does the cleavage work? (I think it does…) How about the pet-connection? Does these kinds of pictures put guys off?

Let these facts and figures give you some great lucky-in-love ideas—including where to go to meet people and how to wow them.

Have you ever looked at the person you love and wondered, “What were the odds of us meeting and winding up head over heels?” I did the other day, and because I wondered it out loud—and because the person I love is a social scientist—he immediately looked it up in a book called Sex in America: A Definitive Survey. The odds were actually pretty good, he informed me. Sixty-three percent of married couples meet the way we did, through a network of friends.

To me, this 63 percent figure was a revelation. I always knew dating was a numbers game, but I’d never thought to take that saying literally. But as I continued browsing through my guy’s extensive, factoid-heavy book collection, I realized that there were statistics confirming just about every dating phenomenon I’d ever experienced. So why not let the statistics guide you in your search for a lasting love? With that in mind, I put together a list of 10 factoids every single person should know:

1. 44 percent of adult Americans are single, according to U.S. Census figures. This means there are over 100 million unattached folks out there. So, if you’ve ever worried, “There’s nobody out there for me,” know that there’s hope!
2. Statistically, the find-someone odds favor guys: There are 86 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women, although in some regions the gender ratio favors women, especially out west. Paradise, Nevada, a suburb 10 miles from Las Vegas, has 118 unmarried men for every 100 unmarried women. Other cities where gals got it good include Austin, Texas; Fort Lauderdale, Florida; Tempe, Arizona; and Sunnyvale and Santa Ana, California. A coincidental bonus for women thinking of relocating: All of these cities are sunny and warm.
3. The best place for single people on the prowl is New York, where 50 percent of state residents are unmarried, and Washington, D.C., where a whopping 70 percent of the population is single. The worst places are Idaho, where 60 percent of people are married; and Utah, where 59 percent of people are married.
4. Think you’ll find love while perched on a barstool? Think again. Only 9 percent of women and 2 percent of men say they’ve found a relationship at a bar or club—blame it on the beer goggles. So if you’re lonely and looking, you’re better off hitting on cuties at Starbucks.
5. Got someone hot in your sights and want to reveal your interest? Fifty-one percent of people use flattery, according to the book Are You Normal About Sex, Love, and Relationships? Or, try touching them, a tactic used by 25 percent of single folk. Still another 23 percent utilize the schoolyard approach and send the word out through a friend.
6. If you’re into online dating, you’re hardly alone: 40 million Americans use online dating services; that’s about 40 percent of our entire U.S. single-people pool. So if you haven’t tried it yet, maybe it’s time to dive in!
7. Profiles and photos go together great. Online, being bashful will get you nowhere. Women and men who post their photos receive more than twice as many e-mails as those without photos, according to a study published by economists at MIT and University of Chicago. And a Match.com survey revealed that profiles with photos had 15 times the response rate as those without. Some numbers!
8. On a date, first impressions do count: Men take only 15 minutes to decide if a woman is worth a second date. For women, the clock isn’t ticking quite so fast—they ponder whether to get together again for an hour or so.
9. The number one problem for couples in America? Disagreements about money, according to a poll by the University of Denver. So, don’t write off a date just because you two bickered over the dinner bill; everyone clashes over cash.
10. If you’re feeling like your relationship is hitting the skids and want to bail, the painful face-to-face approach might not be necessary: An estimated 48 percent of online daters report that their breakups have happened over e-mail. Call it rude or just plain convenient, but it happens a lot.

Call this your compliment alphabet. That’s right. A� complimentary word for every letter. Something for you to use in poems, letters, cards, or for all those dating compliments you might need help with.

A � Adorable
B � Bangin�
C � Clever
D � Dashing
E � Exceptional
F � French. Just say any word in French and she (or) will take it as a compliment.

G � Gorgeous
H � Hellllloooooo
I � Icy hot
J � Jumpin�
K � Killer
L � Lovely
M � Magnificent
N � Never better
O � One of a kind
P � Pure beauty (for the gal) Prime (for the guy)
Q � Quirk (be sure to use it in a cute, fun kind of way)
R � Righteous
S � Splendid or Smart
T � Titillating
U � Unbelievable
V � Vivacious
W � Wild
X � This is a dumb letter:)
Y � Yummy
Z � Zoomin�