Think of it like this…you see someone across the room of a restaurant standing by the bar. She has a beautiful smile, gorgeous legs, and a nicely put together outfit. You notice that she’s been looking at you even making eye contact a few times.

You get up the courage to talk to her and excuse yourself from your table of friends. Walking right up to her you flash your pearly whites, put out your hand, and introduce yourself when she says:

“Do you mind stepping back? You just spit on my face.”

See what I mean? Don’t blow your chance at a first impression in online dating by saying something in an e-mail or online chat that is over the top or boring. Instead, be witty and thoughtful. If you have trouble coming up with your own conversation ideas, try these ice breakers.

1) If I were to write a book, the main character would be…
2) The best beach I have ever been to was…
3) If reincarnation is real, I hope to come back as a…
4) Today I saw a painting that reminded me of…
5) The one noise I wish I could mute from the world is…
6) If I had to eat the same thing for the rest of my life it would be…
7) I feel bad for my remote control because…

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Need help writing your online profile? Sign up for the Dating Tales profile writing service for a profile that pops.

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After a couple of brief phone conversations they decided to meet at a popular bar after work. Immediately, Abbie was attracted. Not only was she on a date with a doctor, but he was hot.

Then he opened his mouth. Apparently he was more impressed with the fact that he was a doctor than she was. It’s all he could talk about. After 45 minutes Abbie was bored and thirsty. He was too busy thinking of more things he could say about himself to notice that she didn’t have a drink.

Finally, she grabbed her purse and motioned that she was going to the bar for a beverage. He says, “Yeah, vodka tonic for me. When you get back I’ll tell you about my 4:45 consult today. And you can put it all on my tab? It’s under Dr. Die.”

“Dr. Die,” she exclaimed! “Your name is Doctor Die. No. Really?”

It was real and for the next 58 minutes she could not get over the fact that she was dating a doctor with the last name of DIE, nor could she get over her boredom.

Another one bites the dust.

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Even if you don’t make a love connection, group dating or organized dating will at least give you a few giggles, a couple of good dating tales, and a a nice night out with your girlfriends. Here are a few of the biggies worth trying:

8minute Dating
pre-dating.com
It’s Just Lunch
Eight at Eight Dinner Club

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Don’t forget the basics, of course, like schooling, hobbies, family composition, books, movies, etc., but to make that first date conversation flow here are a few other tips.

Listen to what your date is saying

The greatest conversation sources are waiting for you to jump on them. Just listen for follow up question openings and thenfollow up! For instance, your date tells you about his childhood in Albany and since you’ve never been there you ask more about the city, state, region. If you have been there, ask for more information on what you didn’t or did see.

Find offbeat news

Great sources of interesting conversation topics surely to entertain most of us can be found on Best-of-Craigslist, popular picks on Digg.com, and CNN’s Funny News. To fill up those lulls in the conversation, get a quick read on the internet that day so you’re prepared with a few stories.

Research your date’s interests

Find out from the friend that set you up, his profile, or on the phone before you meet what his interests are. This way you can research beforehand and come up with intelligent questions to ask on the date. He’ll be impressed.

Looking at your nightstand

Think about the book that’s currently on your night stand, the CD that’s playing in your car, the last vacation you took and be prepared for the questions you’ll be asked. Just like you, your date is preparing. In other words, you should be able to answer every question you ask your date.

Jokes: Tell a few

Don’t start now if you rarely tell jokes. But if you know you’re funny and your friends normally laugh at your jokes, you’re probably safe.

Avoiding these things

The ol’ saying that politics and religion shouldn’t be talked about in mixed company stands true for first dates too. Although these are things important in deciding on your mate, it’s a great way to scare someone off before they get to know you well.

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His profile looked great and she was optimistic about at least having an interesting conversation about all his travels to South America, where her family is from. She was also looking forward to the excellent food at the sports bar where they agreed to meet. Her favorite.

Unfortunately, though, he wasn’t that interested in talking about his travels at all. He was much more interested in the car she drove, where she drove it, and what she’d prefer to be driving.

Jess, not really knowing much about cars and not even having a “dream car,” decided out of nervousness to tell him about her insistence to not use air conditioning because it uses too much gas. This did not sit well with the car enthusiast and so he went on to tell her that the drag created by having the windows rolled down burned just as much if not more gas than having the air conditioning on.

Fair enough. But instead of just letting it go and moving on to the next subject he said that he didn’t think their date was going well and so he wanted to leave.

Maybe if auto knowledge is so important to him he should quiz his potential dates before they meet. Just a suggestion.

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And if you’re interested in finding a double date, believe it or not there are online dating services devoted to the topic. They really do think of everything, don’t they?

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For me, this inquiry was recently brought up after a friend and I discussed an awkward date with a very cheap man. You actually know part of this “missed connection” story because I told it in my “Women Picking Up Men, It’s a Beautiful Thing” post.

The good news is that my friend did go on a date with the cute boy from Craigslist, but the bad news is that he was weird about the bill. So weird, in fact, that she won’t go out with him again.

The story goes like this: At the end of the date she went for her credit card expecting him to say, “No, no. I got it.” When he didn’t say anything she was still OK with paying half because in her mind that was perfectly fair anyway.

But things got weird when he started adding up what was hers (1 beer and 1 burger) and what was his (1 burger). After totaling his amount owed, he opened up his wallet for her to see that there were at least 10, very crisp, twenty dollar bills inside. To make matters worse, he left a $1 tip.

The feminist in me says that women should be willing to pay for half or all of the bill, but then the traditionalist in me says that I should be wined and dined. What do you think? Answer the poll and leave your comments with your ideas. It’s time we settle this issue once and for all.

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Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. He found a woman with this story…

She said it was midwinter. Snowing and quite cold. And the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah, for a day skiing. No overnights. They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.

The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.

They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte.

They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.

Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.

They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started to pee.

In the deep snow she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.

Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking.

All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation.

As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender.

Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal.

It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold.

Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about ‘what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance!

He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing.

She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma.

Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem.

Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!

Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free.

So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.

The best part of it all?

They fell in love and he became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

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Not too long ago I set up my friend Jen with a co-worker. I had a party and the two met with sparks flying. The next week they met for dinner and somehow things changed.

Jen called me the day after to tell me, hesitantly at that, he’s not that nice.

“He talked crap about all your friends the whole night. He even said some things about you, Sara. He said you throw boring parties and that he wished you would stop having them altogether because he felt obligated to go. But don’t worry, I told him off.”

“Who doesn’t like a good game of Taboo, homemade limoncillo, and my oh-so-favorite 80s party mix?” I retorted, pouting a little.

I’m grateful to Jen for standing up for me, for telling me about it so I wouldn’t try to set up this guy again, and for never calling him back. Thanks Jen.

Apparently, even the guys you’re friends date can break your heart too.

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