Dating Tales

Several months ago I asked, who should pay on a first date? Quite a few of you answered and I think the answer is pretty clear. Whoever asks for the date should pay for the date. That sounds fair to me.

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It’s not just speed dating anymore. And it’s certainly not the singles bar either. It’s organized dating by way of big number cocktailing, choreographed lunches, and group dinners. So many options for the singleton these days. All it takes is a little bit of courage and some time spent coming up with clever first-date questions to make yourself stand out from the others.

Even if you don’t make a love connection, group dating or organized dating will at least give you a few giggles, a couple of good dating tales, and a a nice night out with your girlfriends. Here are a few of the biggies worth trying:

8minute Dating
pre-dating.com
It’s Just Lunch
Eight at Eight Dinner Club

First date conversation can be painful, awkward, and superficial. Not everyone is a born conversationalist so a little bit of practice and research can go a long way. Think the Bridget Jones’ Diary scene where she practices pronouncing Chechnya.

Don’t forget the basics, of course, like schooling, hobbies, family composition, books, movies, etc., but to make that first date conversation flow here are a few other tips.

Listen to what your date is saying

The greatest conversation sources are waiting for you to jump on them. Just listen for follow up question openings and thenfollow up! For instance, your date tells you about his childhood in Albany and since you’ve never been there you ask more about the city, state, region. If you have been there, ask for more information on what you didn’t or did see.

Find offbeat news

Great sources of interesting conversation topics surely to entertain most of us can be found on Best-of-Craigslist, popular picks on Digg.com, and CNN’s Funny News. To fill up those lulls in the conversation, get a quick read on the internet that day so you’re prepared with a few stories.

Research your date’s interests

Find out from the friend that set you up, his profile, or on the phone before you meet what his interests are. This way you can research beforehand and come up with intelligent questions to ask on the date. He’ll be impressed.

Looking at your nightstand

Think about the book that’s currently on your night stand, the CD that’s playing in your car, the last vacation you took and be prepared for the questions you’ll be asked. Just like you, your date is preparing. In other words, you should be able to answer every question you ask your date.

Jokes: Tell a few

Don’t start now if you rarely tell jokes. But if you know you’re funny and your friends normally laugh at your jokes, you’re probably safe.

Avoiding these things

The ol’ saying that politics and religion shouldn’t be talked about in mixed company stands true for first dates too. Although these are things important in deciding on your mate, it’s a great way to scare someone off before they get to know you well.

Last summer my friend Jess went on a date with someone she met on SinglesNet.com. True to any first date she was nervous and anxious to get it over with, but also psyched about meeting this hotty for real.

His profile looked great and she was optimistic about at least having an interesting conversation about all his travels to South America, where her family is from. She was also looking forward to the excellent food at the sports bar where they agreed to meet. Her favorite.

Unfortunately, though, he wasn’t that interested in talking about his travels at all. He was much more interested in the car she drove, where she drove it, and what she’d prefer to be driving.

Jess, not really knowing much about cars and not even having a “dream car,” decided out of nervousness to tell him about her insistence to not use air conditioning because it uses too much gas. This did not sit well with the car enthusiast and so he went on to tell her that the drag created by having the windows rolled down burned just as much if not more gas than having the air conditioning on.

Fair enough. But instead of just letting it go and moving on to the next subject he said that he didn’t think their date was going well and so he wanted to leave.

Maybe if auto knowledge is so important to him he should quiz his potential dates before they meet. Just a suggestion.

I’ve never been on a double, first date so I can’t say. But I have heard both horror and successful dating stories from friends. Answer the DatingTales poll and let us know what you think about a double date the first go round.

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And if you’re interested in finding a double date, believe it or not there are online dating services devoted to the topic. They really do think of everything, don’t they?