Dating Tales

I’ll be honest. I wish I was one. But that’s a different story. Dating an eternal student can be tough.

It’s not all high notes and melodies with a musician. But who doesn’t love a sexy rock star? Figuring out what makes a good partner is important and weighing the pros and cons is a good way to do that.

A well-written profile is equivalent to having good table manners on a first date. If you don’t pay attention to the basics in dating either online or offline, you could miss out on a romantic connection.

The analogy of table manners is the same as having an organized and logical profile. Now this doesn’t need to be an eloquent five-paragraph essay, but just like in meeting someone face to face you have only seconds to impress that person. So choose your words wisely. Avoid swearing or using slang (at least use them sparingly), stick to point, and don’t bore your reader with details.

More importantly, be creative.

Don’t describe yourself in a cliche or generic way. Read the profiles of ten women and men in your area with characteristics similar to yours. Research your written profile by searching out your competitors. In reading these profiles list the things those people mention and notice the pattern, for example, does almost everyone mention travel, interesting books or movies, and Chinese food? Be sure not to include those items in your own profile. Be different.

Similarly find ten men or women whose profiles you like the most and would be interested in getting to know. Again, read each profile carefully and make a list of the things he or she writes about. You should definitely mention any unique interests that you share in your own profile.

The point is that you want to make a good impression so that your potential connections read all of your profile, and are motivated to contact you. You can woo this person later in your e-mails, but for right now just get them interested.

For more dating tips and to sign up for the DatingTales Profile Writing Service visit the DatingTales Online Dating Guide.

There are two situations in life where men feel compelled to flirt with women in an overbearing way.

The first and most obvious is the drunk situation. A little bit of false confidence can go a long way when a guy is mustering the courage to talk to a girl.

The second is when a girl needs help moving into or out of her apartment. Men often feel that by moving her dresser, for example, they’ve somehow exhibited super-human strength that she surely cannot resist.

I had the pleasure of enduring both of these situations (at once) the other night while helping out a friend. My friend is moving to a faraway land called San Diego, and so she has decided to sell all her furniture. We were standing in front of her apartment building, with her couch right next to us I might add, waiting for someone off Craigslist to come by when this man comes stumbling around the corner.

Now in normal life, this guy is probably alright. But he was wasted and insisted on helping us load this couch into the soon-to-be-arriving van. After telling him “no thanks” several times we finally just agreed to let him help.

When the van arrived he picked up one end of the couch and then promptly dropped it. Trying a second time, he didn’t drop it but he was teetering this way and that way making me certain this scene was never going to end. But to our relief he pulled through and the couch made it into the van.

My friend finished the transaction with the Craigslist lady and that’s when the drunk Casanova really decided to go for it.

“Hey,” he said with eyes crossed and swaying body. “Can I have a minute of your time?”

“No. Busy,” I replied.

That wasn’t enough for him so he asked for my name. I replied quickly and then walked away, avoiding all eye contact. But he wouldn’t give up. He followed right behind me asking me for a couple minutes to talk.

I was silent.

Finally, my friend finished with the couch and we continued on inside back toward the elevator. We managed to get in the elevator and shut the door on him, but not before he told us what apartment he was in.

We all have been in a situation where we look back and say we should’ve known our ex was an abuser, a cheater, or a jerk. It’s easy to do in hindsight. I know because I’ve done it at least 18 times.

The reality is that because we liked the guy we justified the red flag so much so that it became more pink than red. That may be OK to do sometimes, but be honest with yourself. If, in fact, the flag is very red, then don’t ignore it and get out before it’s too late. Here are five examples of red flags:

1. Too rough. If even when playing around he grabs you too hard, twists an arm, or pushes you, he’s no good. A respectful person will never try to hurt his partner, even when they are just playing around.

2. “Who’s that guy?” syndrome. Chances are that if you get 20 questions over seemingly unimportant parts of your day that he is insecure. Everyone is a little jealous, even in a healthy relationship, but know the difference between a little and a lot of jealousy. If he puts you down or accuses you of things, then consider it a red flag.

3. Listen to your sister. There are exceptions to this rule, but know that your family and friends love you and want what is best for you. If someone close to you doesn’t like him, at least consider what they have to say about your new man.

4. What happened to the things you used to do? It’s natural to fall in love and have a few of your priorities change. You may spend less time on your hobbies or see your friends less, but don’t eliminate these things entirely. Consider it a red flag if your significant other makes you feel guilty for doing things on your own or prevents you from spending time with your friends.

5. One minute he’s sweet, the next he’s scary. Instability makes you worry about what kind of mood he’ll be in once you get home or about rearranging your day just to make him happy. The reality is that you should be with someone that is stable and who treats you well all the time.

Visit the DatingTales online dating guide for more tips like these, because these five red flags only scratch the surface.