Dating Tales

Southern California, that’s where.

Richard Florida, author of the Creative Class Exchange and Who’s In Your City? has this awesome map on his Web site that shows the population of single men and women by U.S. city. The blue circles represent cities with more men than women and the red circles represent cities with more women than men. West coast, here we come.

Through the years I’ve given out my number in all kinds of ways, but the most unique phone number giving strategies were inspired by friends.

For example, awhile back I frequented this Italian restaurant in my neighborhood and developed a ginormous crush on the waiter. His gorgeous blue eyes spoke to me for months. Finally, my friend tired of hearing me swoon and wrote my name and number on my credit car slip. She signed: “Call Me.”

He never called and I never returned to that hip little dive. Thanks friend.

In another situation a friend of mine and I were traveling on I-90 for an entire afternoon and finally were so bored that we started making eyes with other drivers. After a few uneventful waves and smiles we came upon a car with two good looking twenty-somethings. They smiled back. They waved back. And after a few minutes of passing back and forth I was convinced to give out my number.

I dug through my Jessica Simpson Hobo bag to find a red sharpie and something to write on. In bright red letters I wrote “Call Me” and my number–original, I know. But it worked. Unlike my previous experience at the restaurant, my phone rang within 30 seconds. I answered to find Daniel on the other end.

“Hello.”

“Hey, its Daniel. The passenger. How ya doin’?”

Daniel and I chatted for a minute and he agreed to call later in the week for a date.

“Great.”

In another few minutes my phone rang again. This time it was Rafael on the other end.

“Hiya. It’s the driver, Rafael. Listen, I’m wondering if we can get together.”

“Uh…what about your passenger?”

“What about him?”

For the next week Daniel and Rafael BOTH called me every day. I guess I assume that if a woman hands out her phone number in an obvious, 80-mile an hour kind of way, the two car-mates would decide among each other who would pursue that relationship.

I guess in other social circles that’s not the case. Obviously.

Our good friend Anonymous has followed up with Dating Tales to let us know how his grocery store mama is doing. If you didn’t read my original post, Finding Love in the Cereal Aisle, you should read that first so this makes sense.

Here is the post from Anonymous: 

Sara,

I took your advice, along with some others and approached the woman at the grocery store that I was referring to. Yesterday I set it up so that I would end up in her cashier lane. She was pretty busy so I didn’t say much because I am a shy person when I first get to know someone. However, before I left I said, ” I hope that I am not out of line, but take a look at this when you have a minute.” I gave her my business card with a note on the back. The note said, “Hi, I shop here regularly and have been wanting to talk to you, but you are always busy. My name is **** and I would like to get to know you better. My phone number is ***-***-****. I hope you call.

I go to this place a few times a week because it is also where I bank. I know that in a previous post you stated to just smile and say hi when I see her. Other than this, do you have any other suggestions regarding approaches?

Thanks,
Anonymous

*****************

I stand by my original advice. You did your part so now just go with the flow.  Continue to be friendly and say hi; it’s even ok to go through her line from time to time. Maybe in a couple months if nothing has happened you could approach her again and say something like, “Do you remember me from 2 months ago? I gave you my card. Any chance I could take you to dinner?”

Regardless of what happens you did good. You took a risk and that’s what life and dating is all about.

During some recent travel I overheard a lot of romance talk from airline staff. I heard things like:

(Woman on cell phone) “What am I supposed to think when I see you traveling with a woman during the holidays?”

-and-

(3 flight attendants on the shuttle) “My roommate, another flight attendant from another airline–can’t keep her mouth shut. I never tell her what pilot I’m flying with.”

-and-

(4 male pilots and 1 female pilot sitting at the Starbucks) “We got shitfaced in Atlanta. I’m not sure how I got home.” (followed by belly laughs all around)

This got me thinking whether or not the stereotypes about dating a pilot are true. So here it goes, the pros and cons of dating a pilot as I see it.

Commuting every day on mass transportation can give the mind a lot of time wander. When I lived in Boston I had a one-hour commute each way, and since I arrived and departed at exactly the same time each day, there were several men I got to see routinely. Cute men, I might add.

I called these men my “T boyfriends.” Without sounding too stalker-esque I knew their cologne, what books they were reading, and what stops they got on and off at. I never intended to speak to any of my T boyfriends (there were several), I was just greatful to have interesting commutes.

Not everyone is as shy as I am, though. I do have friends that overcame the silence among subway passengers that serves as barrier to any sort of relationship building.

One friend of mine saw a cute guy on the subway every day for weeks. Finally, she was sitting next to him and decided to pull the plug from her iPOD and offer to plug it into his. He agreed and few songs later they became friends.

Another friend–after losing her balance while hanging on to the bar–fell against one cutie who then got off at her stop and coincidentally needed directions. He also asked for a date.

So it can pay to try and make a subway boyfriends the real thing. Too bad I never had the courage.