Dating Tales

I struggle with gift giving, but when it comes to buying holiday gifts for someone I’ve just started dating, I’m helpless. I think the first step is to feel the other person out. Find out if he is big into holidays by asking generic questions about holiday plans and family traditions. Depending on how excited he responds you might be able to figure out how serious he is about trading gifts.

The next step is to eliminate the thought of anything romantic or long term. Two tickets to a concert next spring might be a little over the top since that would require him to be dating you four months from now. Don’t freak him out. Keep it realistic.

Here are a few ideas for those of you out there gift shopping for your new man that won’t scare him or break your budget.

The Swaba Solar Jar

JBuds Hi-Fi Noise-Reducing Ear Buds

Victorinox Swiss Army Champion Plus

Chappelle’s Show - Season 1

Rage Against the Machine

Wilson F1625 NCAA Supreme Game Football (Official Size)

Marilyn Monroe Sweet Dreams Accent “Pillow”

We all have been in a situation where we look back and say we should’ve known our ex was an abuser, a cheater, or a jerk. It’s easy to do in hindsight. I know because I’ve done it at least 18 times.

The reality is that because we liked the guy we justified the red flag so much so that it became more pink than red. That may be OK to do sometimes, but be honest with yourself. If, in fact, the flag is very red, then don’t ignore it and get out before it’s too late. Here are five examples of red flags:

1. Too rough. If even when playing around he grabs you too hard, twists an arm, or pushes you, he’s no good. A respectful person will never try to hurt his partner, even when they are just playing around.

2. “Who’s that guy?” syndrome. Chances are that if you get 20 questions over seemingly unimportant parts of your day that he is insecure. Everyone is a little jealous, even in a healthy relationship, but know the difference between a little and a lot of jealousy. If he puts you down or accuses you of things, then consider it a red flag.

3. Listen to your sister. There are exceptions to this rule, but know that your family and friends love you and want what is best for you. If someone close to you doesn’t like him, at least consider what they have to say about your new man.

4. What happened to the things you used to do? It’s natural to fall in love and have a few of your priorities change. You may spend less time on your hobbies or see your friends less, but don’t eliminate these things entirely. Consider it a red flag if your significant other makes you feel guilty for doing things on your own or prevents you from spending time with your friends.

5. One minute he’s sweet, the next he’s scary. Instability makes you worry about what kind of mood he’ll be in once you get home or about rearranging your day just to make him happy. The reality is that you should be with someone that is stable and who treats you well all the time.

Visit the DatingTales online dating guide for more tips like these, because these five red flags only scratch the surface.

What is my “type”? Obviously, he is smart, funny, and cute. But who doesn’t have this type?

Seems that for those of us that are seriously looking for a mate, then we should dig deep and determine what it is that will make us happy long term. These are some suggestions to get you there.

Personality tests. Insight into what makes you tick can be found in any one of dozens of personality tests available. An online search will turn up tests like Myers-Briggs that are geared toward career options, but will certainly help you analyze yourself and what you need to be happy in a relationship too.

Make a pros/cons list of all your ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends. This isn’t an exercise in self-destruction. You shouldn’t try to re-live all your past traumas, but it is important to learn from your experiences. Think back on the qualities of the person or the relationship that you liked and disliked the most. Use your history to seek out what you know will work.

Find your fantasy love affair. AOL Personals has taken some of its members’ profiles and categorized them by celebs they are similar to. If you like Matthew McConaughey, Patrick Dempsey, or Katie Holmes, for example, try it out just for fun.

Values. Only accept a date with someone who shares your values. This is the key to a long-lasting relationship. Identify your fundamental beliefs and priorities so that you don’t end up with a partner that may expect you to compromise those things later. Whether it’s a career, faith, geographic location, or children, decide what is most important to you.

Shop around online. For the picky single, online dating sites are a gift. Sites like EliteMate.com, and Singlesnet.com are a few sites worth browsing. There may be qualities about someone that you didn’t think about before and realize you would enjoy. Who knows, maybe you’ll decide you want to meet him or her for real and join the dating site.

All of these suggestions will certainly guide you in the right direction. However, it’s important to keep an open mind and date people from all walks of life; you never know who might surprise you. And besides all that, it’s part of the finding-your-type process.

Visit the DatingTales online dating guide for more dating tips.

He didn’t hold the door; that’s the one thing your date must do. Or, maybe he reminds you of your ex or maybe he just disgusts you. Whatever it is, it’s been 45 minutes and you already can’t stand this guy.

There are ways to get out of the date without it being too awkward. Here are some tips:

Plan it to be short. A drink, a cup of coffee, a walk in the park with your dogs, these are all dates that would take less than an hour. No more four hour first dates.

There’s somewhere you need to be. Make it known. If before even going on the date, or within the first few minutes you have hesitation about this guy, mention a friend’s birthday party you need to go to later. Don’t make it a big deal, just make it believable.

For me, no desert. If you’ve had enough of the date, don’t agree to more.

Let him know if he’s rude. If he offends you, it’s ok to let him know you’re not interested. If in the first 20 minutes, for example, he asked who you’re hooking up with, respond by saying: “None of your business! I’m honestly not interested in hooking up with anyone right now. ” No matter what you do, a jerk will be a jerk.

Don’t say you’ll call. Don’t say you’ll call if you’re not going to call. It is perfectly alright to say that it was nice to meet him and that you wish him the best. He’ll get the point and hopefully not call you!

A handshake. The perfect indication that there will not be another date. No need to get too intimate with a hug or a kiss if you don’t like him.

Visit the DatingTales.net online dating guide for more tips like these.

I saw on CNN today that 34 percent of women over 40 were dating younger men, and 35 percent preferred it to dating older men. I would have guessed it was the reverse, and I wonder if the cougar factor is actually real. (Cougar =a middle-aged (or above) woman, dressed to the nines, out on the prowl looking for young (20-35 year old) men).

Whatever it is I think it could be fun. Here are seven reasons why I think you should try it:

1. He’ll keep you feeling younger.

2. You can teach him and guide him in the bedroom.

3. The two of you will have to overcome the adversity together. It will make you closer.

4. He’ll dress better than older men.

5. He is more likely to come to you for advice and guidance. An older man may not look up to you in that respect.

6. If it works out, you can retire sooner than you planned.

7. He won’t compare you to his ex-girlfriends.