We are all frustrated by the same dating patterns we’ve all got. You ask yourself, why do I end up dating the same guy always? Every boyfriend reminds me of my dad, why? The guy with the really spiky hair is the only type that approaches me, how come?
You date the same type of guy because you continue to be the same type of person. If you don’t want to date a jerk, then you need to discover whatever it is about you that attracts them and then change it.
Now don’t get me wrong, sometimes people are just big, huge jerks. But we’re talking about you; we’re not talking about them. To stop your jerk-dating pattern, here are three steps you need to follow.
First Step: Ask a Friend
If more than once you’ve dated the same type of loser, go to your most honest friend and ask why they think that is. Really listen to what they tell you.
Be Single: Second Step
For awhile you need to decide to be single. You are truly single during this time so date yourself. Get to know what it is that makes you and learn what makes you tick. Think about what you need to be happy and what it is you’re really looking for. Figure it out and once you do, write it down, keep it in your bag, and read it every day.
Third Step: Dating the Antithesis
Do yourself a favor and date someone that is nothing like your ex, when you are ready. So seek someone that is different; get a taste for what is out there. You might be surprised to find that you connect with all kinds of people-even if you don’t think they’re your “type.”
With time and self-reflection you won’t date anymore jerks. Like all challenges we face, the first step is admitting you have a problem.
Everyone is deserving of love and of having fun and companionship. So good news everyone! There are single sites totally committed to those with an STD. If you suffer or find yourself in a predicament in the future, remember these sites.
Meetstd.com
Positive Singles
STD Passions
H-Date.com
STD Friends
Ever wonder about your street cred when it comes to kissing? Me too. This topic has been on my mind lately, which you probably know after reading my post “Dear Ex-Boyfriend, You Were a Bad Kisser.” Well here you go again, if any of the following things have happened to you, then its time to improve your skills. Pucker up people. Kiss well and kiss often.
1) You’re done kissing and she wipes her cheek with the back of her hand.
2) She hands you a piece gum immediately afterward.
3) You say things like “Wanna go park?” or “Wanna neck?”
4) She doesn’t kiss you during foreplay.
5) She pulls away abruptly and gives you a funny look.
6) She says: “Where’d you learn that?” or “We can hold hands instead.”
7) She stops you and says, “Try this instead.”
I’ve been broken up with in many ways and it’s been awful every time. I’m sure that’s how it is for most of us since there’s no great, easy way to do it. But there are things you can do to make it respectful and a little easier to cope with.
Show respect for the other person and yourself and break-up face to face. Don’t be fearful of doing the break-up while looking that person in the eye.
Pick a mutually comfortable spot and don’t break-up in a public place. With very few other people around, you won’t fall apart with total strangers watching. There’s nothing worse.
A long meal could be too much to endure with anger and tears overcoming the person, so keep the meeting short. Better off for every one is a quick break-up date.
Avoid the cliché and don’t say the following: “I love you, but I’m not in love with you” and “It’s not you, it’s me.”
White lying is OK. Recognize when it’s proper to save the other person’s feelings. Now is the time to stick to the real reason the relationship is ending, not to pick her or him apart with all the little things that drive you crazy, like eating habits and movie preferences.
Don’t compare the other person to cars, food, ex’s, vacations, and so on. Avoid analogies and just say “I don’t see this going anywhere” or “I think we’d both be happier with someone else.”
Going your separate ways really is best. You can be done after you call once. Say hello and that you’re sorry, but no more. Dragging out a break-up might give the other person hope for reconciliation when there is none.
An anonymous visitor recently left this comment on my post Bad Compliments a Man Can Give a Woman:
I am looking for some advice regarding complimenting women. There is a woman that works at a grocery store. Everytime that I go in there we are always making eye contact with each other. I have only talked to her once but I want to get her number. I am a good looking guy and have confidence, but I don’t want to come across the wrong way. I want to show her that I am genuine and sincere.
What I am asking is, if I told her that I have seen many places and many faces but none as beautiful as you. And that I can tell by looking at you that there is more than meets the eyes.
Would that come across as weird to most women? I know that all women are different, and each and every situation is different, but I am just looking for some general advice.
Thanks
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Dear Anonymous:
First of congratulations on wanting to compliment a woman you are interested in. That is the first step to impressing her. However, you’re trying too hard. She might think your “seen many faces and places” line is a bit too contrived. Chances are she’s noticed you too so why not try to incorporate something about the grocery store into your pick-up line.
For instance, you could tell her she has nice peaches and hand her two peaches.
OK, maybe that’s not the best idea, but it would be funny.
Instead you could just be totally honest. Walk right up to her and say, “I shop here regularly and have been trying to build up the courage to talk to you for awhile. My name is Anonymous and I’d like to take you to dinner/coffee/movie/drink (whatever you like to do) and get to know you better. Here is my phone number. I hope you call.”
The key here is not to pressure her at that moment. She might just say no because she’s taken so off guard. And, if she doesn’t call right away that doesn’t mean she won’t further down the road. When you are in the grocery store say hi and smile, whether she calls or not.
Good luck Anonymous. I’m sure you will do great.
