Dating Tales

There are two situations in life where men feel compelled to flirt with women in an overbearing way.

The first and most obvious is the drunk situation. A little bit of false confidence can go a long way when a guy is mustering the courage to talk to a girl.

The second is when a girl needs help moving into or out of her apartment. Men often feel that by moving her dresser, for example, they’ve somehow exhibited super-human strength that she surely cannot resist.

I had the pleasure of enduring both of these situations (at once) the other night while helping out a friend. My friend is moving to a faraway land called San Diego, and so she has decided to sell all her furniture. We were standing in front of her apartment building, with her couch right next to us I might add, waiting for someone off Craigslist to come by when this man comes stumbling around the corner.

Now in normal life, this guy is probably alright. But he was wasted and insisted on helping us load this couch into the soon-to-be-arriving van. After telling him “no thanks” several times we finally just agreed to let him help.

When the van arrived he picked up one end of the couch and then promptly dropped it. Trying a second time, he didn’t drop it but he was teetering this way and that way making me certain this scene was never going to end. But to our relief he pulled through and the couch made it into the van.

My friend finished the transaction with the Craigslist lady and that’s when the drunk Casanova really decided to go for it.

“Hey,” he said with eyes crossed and swaying body. “Can I have a minute of your time?”

“No. Busy,” I replied.

That wasn’t enough for him so he asked for my name. I replied quickly and then walked away, avoiding all eye contact. But he wouldn’t give up. He followed right behind me asking me for a couple minutes to talk.

I was silent.

Finally, my friend finished with the couch and we continued on inside back toward the elevator. We managed to get in the elevator and shut the door on him, but not before he told us what apartment he was in.

1. Come here often?
2. You give great e-mail.
3. You’re an excellent writer. Not everyone knows how to use an em dash.
4. Beautiful picture. With you in it, I barely noticed the Grand Canyon.
5. All my favorite people are Sagittarius.
6. You look hot on paper. I bet you’re even better in person.
7. Love your adjectives. No one uses the word “amiable” like you do.
8. Do you like me? (Pick one) Yes No
9. In the subject line: I’ve met you before. In the email: My dreams.
10. You kinda look like someone famous, but cuter.

For more lines like these visit the DatingTales compliments soundboard. And, if you want help writing your online profile, learn more about the DatingTales profile writing service.

A man walked up to me in a bar and asked “What’s the worst pick-up line a man’s ever given you?”

I responded, “Is this your pick up line? Because this might be the worst.”

Of course he said no, and went on to say that he and his friend (pointing across the bar) were just talking about lines so he thought he’d ask us because we looked like we might know.

My friend and I (who at the moment before interruption were enjoying our $1.00 Bud Lights and our conversation about nonsense) did not know much about pick up lines. In fact, the only other thing I could tell this man was that if he wanted to talk to two girls at the bar, then he should just walk up and say hi. He should avoid the lines or the talk about lines altogether because women weren’t interested in them.

But on second thought, maybe I was wrong. A pick-up line may be cheesy and transparent, but it is nice to be noticed. I mean, if a man asks me if I’m tired because I’ve been running through his mind all night, maybe I should be flattered.

Want more compliments? Go here.

With the launch of our new compliments soundboard I have flattery on the brain. It’s not just women that need to hear nice things, men deserve to feel good too. Based on my experience, here are ten things men want to hear from women.

1. Laugh at his jokes. Even if they’re not that funny.

2. Compliment his athleticism. All men want to feel like quarterbacks.

3. Value his successes. No matter how small the success, men like to know we look up to them.
4. Compliment his intelligence. Whether it’s trivia at the bar or a news story he feels compelled to talk about, respond by saying things like: “That’s really interesting. How do you know all this? I’m impressed.”

5. Ask him to fix something you know he can fix. If you ask to fix something he can’t, he may feel insecure. Changing light bulbs is a safe one.

6. Tell him your friends think he’s hot. But maybe not tell him who thinks it exactly.

7. Compliment his choice of movie or TV show. It may not be your favorite, but at least agree to watch it from time to time.

8. Be impressed by his strength, even if all he did was open the pickle jar.

9. If he buys you flowers or orders an appetizer, smile and say thank you.

10. Compliment his car. “I love your rims. I know so little about cars, but I’m really psyched about your V8.”

Inspired by a previous post and motivated by my own need to feel good daily, we created a compliments page. What is this compliments page, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. At the top you’ll notice a link titled “Compliments.” By navigating here you can chose to receive one (or more) of dozens of accolades whenever you feel.

I’m still working to grow the list of the best compliments a man can give a woman, so feel free to keep commenting and let me know your favorite flattering remarks. We’ll expand the compliments page down the road, but for now get to clicking. There is a sexy voice waiting for you. Hope you’re flattered.