10 Reasons Why Dating a Gorilla is a Bad Idea

1. He doesn’t know his strength. Your playful wrestling match is about to turn ugly.

2. A hairy gorilla. I mean, really.

3. Chances are high that he will be too much like your ex. You don’t need to relive that whole scenario.

4. Undoubtedly, a bed hog.

5. When you look in his eyes it might seem like you have a lot in common, but he’ll never understand your need for handbags, pedicures, and happy hours.

6. His chest pounding and roaring will be a turn on at times. Doesn‘t everyone like a man in charge? Just beware. Sometimes the bossiness gets old.

7. You’ll hate holding hands. All that walking around on his fists means he’s got crazy calluses. I won’t even get started on his fingernails.

8. Your gorilla boyfriend will be a loner.

9. He rarely smiles. The only way to know a gorilla is happy is when he hands you a piece of grass.

10. When you ask questions he’ll respond with a “ipfh.” Then, you’ll be all like, “what?” And then again he’ll say, “ulf.” In other words, he’s a mumbler.

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Creative Commons Image Credit: Kjunstorm


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