In the last several months quite a few Dating Tales readers have opened up about their doctor dating woes. It got me thinking about how to successfully date a doctor. You know, how to date a guy that you are attracted to because of his intelligence, his drive, and his compassion, and yet still say sane with all those crazy hours and silly egos.
Here is my advice for you if you choose to date a doctor.
Find patience. Understand that he is not like all the other guys. Chances are your doctor friend won’t remember all of his social commitments and he won’t have the time to call or see you as much as you like.
There’s never a reason to settle, but when dating a doctor there is reason to have a little patience with his busy schedule and over-stimulated mind.
Keep your sense of humor. Without laughter you might just lose your mind. Ask anyone who has dated a doctor before and they will tell you…if you can’t laugh about being stood up for the third Friday in a row or having to help your genius boyfriend match his outfits, then it’ll never work.
Light-heartedness is critical when dating a doctor.
Look for camaraderie with others who are also dating doctors. There is no better way to deal with life than to vent to someone who knows what you are going through. Wives and girlfriends of doctors everywhere can relate to the trials and tribulations of dating a doctor.
Are you looking to date a doctor? Sign up for the Dating Tales profile writing service and find your hotty MD today.
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{ 34 comments… read them below or add one }
I want to extend my thanks to all the ladies that took the time to write back to my comment. Unfortunately, this weekend my bf and I parted. Though, I am completely broken hearted, I am optimistic that this will b for the best. Our relationship always had to endure all the priorities of his life. His ex, the children, his work and the fact that he had been trying to renegotiate his contract at the hospital for almost a year. All this was driving him crazy, and I always took that into consideration and aside from being understanding and nurturing … I always conformed to do whatever it was that he wanted to do just because I felt it was the least I could do for him. I simply enjoyed being with him so it didn’t matter where or what we did. Sadly, this weekend when sort of playfully I asked him why he was so distant and if he loved me still? (because of his ex he was always hesitant to express his feelings).. He said “I love you ..I just don’t know” … I had to ask “don’t know what?” … well, to make a long story short, he said he was overwhelmed and that he felt like he was always being pulled from every direction with his work, kids, ex, etc … that he felt he wasn’t making me happy and that he didn’t want me to become a cynic like him, who doesn’t know how to love … that I wasn’t smiling anymore, that he didn’t know if he could love me like I loved him … ????? I assured him that relationships go through tough times and that my smile was there it just that our life became more serious (I too have my personal problems .. just never shared much with him because he had enough of his own). Anyway .. I suggested if I should give him time away … if me being gone would help and again .. Ï don’t know … I’m just so complicated … I’d be crazy to let you go … You are the nicest person I’ve ever known … BUT the I DON’T KNOW part did it for me. If he didn’t want time apart he would have said “that’s not it” or he would have insisted we didn’t part. When I said I would like to come back for the few things I had there some other time .. he said “don’t have to be so drastic .. it’s not like we’ll never see each other again” … We hugged and kissed like crazy … we shed some tears and I was off. Later that evening he texted me “I’m so sorry xxoo” and though I shouldn’t have replied I did “Why are you sorry?” — he never answered. I thought he wouldn’t contact me again but last night he texted me to wish my daughter a happy b-day and to sleep tight (he would say sleep tight whenever he would be away on a trip). I love him and ache so much now that we’ve been without touch … He pushed so much for us to date, he introduced me to all his friends and family (he didn’t get to meet mine – I didn’t think I was ready), he followed me to my homeland (8 1/2 hr flight) to visit me and meet my friends and relatives there, he took me to every leisure trip and family trip with him, he said I love you first … I don’t get it? I know I have to give him time … but in the meanwhile the pain I feel inside is horrendous. I have managed not to cry every time I think of him, and I am staying positive that God is watching over me (and him) and that if we are meant to be … we will be! Wow … this website does work! I was able to “vent” out ~ if anyone reads this .. God bless you for having the patience!
Please pray that I am able to accept graciously God’s will and follow His path no matter how obscure it may seem to me at this time. Thank you!
well, i am writing in response to Snow. I know exactly how you feel. I have been dating a doctor for almost 3 months now. What I will say is I do understand where you are coming from, but I want to say that at least your boyfriend seemed to take you pretty seriously. When he said “I don’t know” he might also thought about you and what was best for you. My boyfriend (actually I am not even sure if he is my boyfriend) is rarely available for me. In 3 months I saw him 5 times! I haven’t met any of his family or friends. I am trying to have a lot of patience because I do love him a lot. However, in my case I really don’t know how long I can take this. I never thought it would be this hard, but if I were you, if he took me that seriously, I think I would not give up easily because it is hard to find someone you truely love, no? anyway, let God help us choose the right path. Who knows? Maybe after all the rain, we can see a beautiful rainbow soon.
I dated a doctor almost 2 years. We just ended our relationship.
When I was with him I accepted that he had very limited time for me. I thought the compromise would solve the issues between us, but it was not it. His ego and demanding personality caused a lot of arguments. In the end, he’s started hitting on one of my friends.
In your case, I think your ex still loves you. He might just don’t know how to deal with his situation.
When I was frustrated with my relationship, I also turned to God asking for help. I still care about him but if it is not God’s best choice for me I will let him out of my life and wait for God’s chosen one for me. God bless you
I read these posts befor even thinking of going on a date with my doctor friend and was troubled by the always busy factor…. but I thought I’d give it a try after all I am studying and dont need to have a BF who’s always there…. but to be stood up on the first date for patients sucks!!!!!!! Sure the flowers the next day was a nice touch but on the first date?! …
I’ve been dating my hunny for about 3-4 months now… One thing I can say in having dated men with demanding professions, it boils down to the person. I actually veered away from dating men with demanding careers primarily because of the pompous ‘i’m Tarzan you Jane’ attitude that can come along with it. My guy is a Hospitalist and works insane! He always manages to make time for me … And for the time that we have apart our communication is beyond
To
To Anonymous … It’s not that hard…He’s not your boyfriend…mo meeting of friends or family is a red flare! To Snow be strong my dear… You definitely deserve better you sound like a total sweetheart!
consistent. Doctor, Lawyer Or Indian Chief if
he wants you he will make you happy as
much as he is able just as you would sacrifice to be compromising to make him happy. I’m the only child so my alone time is necessary… I find that it works for me just fine…My advice…If you don’t have unlimited text… You might want to make that happen
San…. There’s never bad timing for flower
I’m having such a hard time with my boyfriend. he’s a doctor, just finished his fellowship a couple of years ago. he’s working at the hospital, and doing 12 hour days. i now his time is limited, but at the begaining of our relationship, he always made time for me. now that we’ve been dating for a few months, it’s different. No longer will he put other things before me. so instead of just waiting for him to get done with work, and bothering him that will stress him out even more, i make plans wth my friends so that i’m busy and can leave him alone when he’s at work. he usually lets me know when he’s on his way home and no matter what i’m doing, i leave to be wtih him. This was okay in the past, but now, he considers this planning things withoout him, and he’s very upset. i had to cancel all of my plans wtih my firends this week, jsut to prove that i put him first. He actually say it, that he should be number one on my list before anyone. being that we’ve only been together for a short time, this is very egotisic. I’ve also noticed other bad behaviors that doctors have. no matter how he hurts my feelings, he won’t be there to comfort me. He has to be rigth about everything, and because he’s so smart, it’s hard for to me discuess my point without feeling completely attacked by him. he tells me that he loves me dearly and everything is going to work out, but his actions speak otherwise. I don’t know how much more of this i can take. it just seems that doctors think that they can do whatever they want, and if you leave them, no big deal, cause they’ll have another girl waiting in line. help…
I just got out of a relationship with my boyfriend who is a surgery resident. It was really hard but I think that it was the best option for the both of us. When you start to find that you are giving up your own life in order to please him or to spend more time with him, there comes a point in time when you start to feel that you are losing your own sense of self. This is how I felt when I was dating my boyfriend. I noticed that I was constantly going out of my way to please him. In addition I can only meet him ONCE a week. During the week it feels more like we are “friends” rather than actual lovers. I try not to text or bother him too much because I know he is busy and would not appreciate it if I was constantly messaging him or contacting him. In response to the previous posters, I think you need to put yourself first in considering your relationships with your significant other. If you find that you are sad most of the time you need to ask yourself if this is really worth it. My boyfriend was actually the one who suggested that we break up and remain friends after I expressed that our relationship was not heading in the direction that we were hoping for it to go. Although it was really hard for me to accept (very hard for him as well), even now, I think it was probably the best option for us both. I do not want to cling onto him in hopes for a better tomorrow because frankly a dedicated doctor would probably put their patients first before anything else. If I had a chance to do things over, I would have probably rejected him from the very beginning.
I met her(this 2nd year medical student) in the hospital. We have been seeing each other for 2 months. However, she is constantly stressed out and has bad mood all the time. I text/call her never ever got anything back from her. In front of her, i feel i like a girl. I try to compromise to please her and be available to her whenever she wants to see me. i made a lot of efforts. for some reasons, she seems cold and distant, even though she knows i like her. sometimes, i feel hurt. I dont know what to do? its annoying. In my life i never had the dating experience like this one.
Anonymous– unfortunately sounds like your girl is more interested in work than in you?
So does anyone understand why a doctor even bothers to try to have a personal life? Especially a surgeon, especially one still going through their residency, etc. I think the interest in sex is a factor. What’s best for them is probably a call girl service! Maybe it’s a ego thing, wanting to have someone at home waiting for them?
I’m sorry to all of you but if I had a chance to date a doctor I ‘ ll be so pleased, since they do know all about your pain, your struggle, your difficulties, I mean their profession demands a higher comprehension of the partner, you got to understand all about the limitations in a relationship with a doctor, but truth is they are the most compassionate people, good, since they truly know what you’re going through… if I could find my beautiful american-italian Doc. in Boston, I’ll be trilled it to have a relationship with him… even travel from south america to kiss and hug him and say the true words to him, love you so much, I wanna be with you … be with him forever ! That’s my wish, but you have to accept something , in a relationship with a doc. patient will always come in first place, you’re in 2 nd, that’s their professional ethical sworn. If you understand all of this and accept, you will be very happy with the doctor you choosed.
I agree, I feel like we’re all dating the same man! I’ve been dating my guy for 2 months now…and I can definitely related to many of you who posted before me! I do support his career choice, and I do try to understand his work hours. I’ve gotten used to him canceling on me a few times. Usually, if he cancels I’ll find something else to do. Not a big deal. However, there are times when he has made plans to do things with my family/friends…and if he cancels due to work when he made plans with me AND the people I care about…then it looks like he’s blowing them off. Since I’m the only one who’s dating a doctor in my group of friends, none of my friends understand when he cancels unexpectedly. At first they thought he didn’t exist because he kept canceling the 3 times in a row. It’s just hard to be in a relationship that’s so different than the other ones I’ve been in. We do stay in touch via text daily…but I try to keep my texts down to a minimum since I know he is busy at the hospital. I don’t want to be interring. Not to mention the fact that one of the nurses might accidentally see his texts
I’m so glad that I found this site!
Hi there!
I’m so glad I found this site because lately I’ve been thinking I should date a doctor. I’ve met a couple single ones in years passed but wasn’t ready for a relationship (i.e. kept wanting to date bad boys). I’m now suddenly 35 and find myself regretting that I haven’t settled down with someone who is smart and has a job!
I work in research and recently went to a conference where I met a nice young single doc who lives in a different city. I really enjoyed chatting with him – it was great to talk to someone that knows what I’m talking about when it comes to science! We’ve had a couple really long (over an hour) phone conversations since then and since I had been wanting to visit the city where he lives anyway, we discussed me coming for a visit. However, the last time we chatted, he had to sign off after about 20 minutes and I was certain it was because he wasn’t interested even though he said he had some reading to do/lectures to prepare for. Though after reading your experiences, maybe I’m over-reacting. I might still plan a visit, but with a friend – because I have a feeling something will come up. I’m not sure what to do. How do I keep in touch without making too much of an investment and end up hurt?
But on a final note, since I do WORK in a hospital, it seems like I should have an easier time meeting docs that actually live in the same city as myself. Any advice for me? I’m attractive (look like I’m in my mid twenties), fit, independent, and have a sense of humor. I’m shy though so things like conferences are great ways to meet people – I’m much more comfortable striking up a conversation with someone in a specific setting than I am hitting on them!
i started dating a doctor about 3months ago; and at first, we’d see each other at least 2-sometimes 3x/wk..it was really great, but then things got coplicated;he had some family issues plus his residency was about to end so he had to plan a move to another city:( in that break i didn’t get to see him for about 3weeks! i am paranoid by nature so obviously i started freaking myself out that he’d gone off me…but when we did finally meet aain he was so perfect. such a gentleman, romantic everything. but still it wasn’t as often as we’d been seeing each other in the beginning.and i wonder if he really has lost some interest in me..since then he moved to his new place about an hour away, and took a new job about 3HOURS away (the money/hour made the tradeoff worth it) and i’ve only been to his new place once; and we don’t even talk everyday! when we do,he calls me-usually on his drive back to his home at the end of the week,and we have long convos,catching up on each other’s week. and he always asks me about the things i’m doing,and remembers everything i’m up to, but honestly,if he really likes me wouldn’t he make dang sure to keep in touch more often?! i do know that when he’s on the job (he works in a hi-security prison) he’s not allowed to have his phone; but he told me the job is so easy he has all this time on his hands and he gets really bored cus theres nothing to do there..so couldn’t he find time to hit me up? i know im a massive over-analyser, but how can i know if he wants to be with me or it’s only casual dating? he’s introduced me to his closest friends..oh and today he went on vacation to croatia for a week (its a trip he’d planned before i even met him) and it’s been 2weeks since i saw him last! i just have this feeling he’s a great man and i don’t want him to lose interest in me. any suggestions?
I’ve been seeing a doctor for about 8 months. I didn’t know at first. He just told me he worked at so and so hospital. We got to know each other very well, saw each other about 3 times a week at one point. I hardly ever see him now, maybe once a week, texts me maybe once a day. I started feeling insecure about 2 months ago, even though he always reminds me that he loves me and that he’s just extremely busy with work. The thing is, I know it’s not going to let up, this busy thing. It’s his life, the life he chose and worked extremely hard for. So then, I figure I’ll work on finishing school and getting my degree. I’ll pay more attention to my daughters (who he’s so sweet with,) whether they like it or not hehe. I’ll focus on doing things that make me happy. And I’ll be here for him when he has time for me because my personality allows for this. I’ll do all this and be here for him because I know he loves me and I love him. I don’t mind the independence this relationship has pretty much pushed me towards exercising. But I’m emphasizing that my personality allows for this kind of relationship. If I needed more attention from him, I would not waste either of our time or energy trying to make this relationship work. I think all that would do is create unwarranted emotional stress on both our parts. I believe in any successful relationship, each party has to sacrifice a bit of himself/herself for there to be balance and peace between each other. However, a person should not have to change completely or feel like they’re losing their identity to make it work. It may seem like the end of the world when one realizes the best thing to do is part ways, but that’s natural for any thing that must come to an end that is dear. That’s the first emotion in a process. In the end, if a person wants to be happy, they will be.
I too feel as if we are dating the same person. In reading these post..everyone seems to feel the same wait I do about my doctor. We’ve been together since January of this year…he said all the right things..and still does for the most part…always promises we’ll see eachother for date night but that never happens.I know he’s stressed and would love opportunity just too touch lips same as me…but until he gets out of his last year of residency…this is our lives for now and we will continue to have more of the same of broken promises. I love him enough to keep the hope alive for us. He’s my heart…and if we can make it through this we can make it through anything together.
Hi there. I am 24 and I’ve been dating a doctor who’s 50. He’s cardiology and I am a young russian girl. I feel so confuse,I don’t really believe that he’s like me. Why do u terat russian girls so badbly??
Please,give me advice.
Hi Anonymous “Russian’” girl-
You’re 24 and he’s 50? I hope you don’t plan on having se* very much. Otherwise, an older doctor probably has an established practice and regular work hours. So he should have no trouble making time to see you. If he does, it’s probably just force of habit.
I think it does boil down to the person. The character of a person is not dependent on his profession. I have been dating a doctor for 4 months now. He works 80 hours a week but he said that he is flexible and i am his #1 priority. If the right man loves you he will stay in touch, he will not make you his second best. That’s what i have realized.
Yes, I agree with Clementine that the character of a person is not entirely dependent on his profession. But a certain type of person doesn’t continue in a profession if he finds it doesn’t match with his personal goals. I’ve been with a surgeon for 16 months. He stayed in his profession and left his family behind. His top priority is getting to do heart surgery. All else is background noise.
Clementine, funny my best friend’s name is Molly. So my boyfriend is in surgery as well but he ALWAYS makes time for me. He always responds to my emails, texts, and I am the one that is taking it slow and he is the one that keeps wanting to see me. We really connect on all levels, emotional, intellectual and physical. My suggestion “don’t be easy”, make him come to you! That goes as any dating advice. It works. He says to me that I always come first, he is a busy man but he will flex his schedule for me. I think the right man who loves you would that for his woman. And in return the woman gives the man patience and love for him to keep striving in his cause. Thoughts?
Molly, my best friend’s name is Molly. So my boyfriend is in surgery as well but he ALWAYS makes time for me. He always responds to my emails, texts, and I am the one that is taking it slow and he is the one that keeps wanting to see me. We really connect on all levels, emotional, intellectual and physical. My suggestion “don’t be easy”, make him come to you! That goes as any dating advice. It works. He says to me that I always come first, he is a busy man but he will flex his schedule for me. I think the right man who loves you would that for his woman. And in return the woman gives the man patience and love for him to keep striving in his cause. Thoughts?
Yep, he is definitely the one who keeps wanting to see me. I’ve broken up with him several times. Each time, he keeps calling and emailing me until I respond. Then he does whatever I ask him to do. He does always respond to me. But I would still say that his getting to do heart surgery will always be first on his mind. He knows I am patient, understanding, and respectful about his work. And he doesn’t find me “exasperating” as he finds most other people. We have similar viewpoints on most things, which is hard to find for both of us. And the se* is always great.
He seems to think it was love at first sight. I just don’t know how far that will get us. We are in different cities now, though it makes very little difference since he was traveling half the time anyway.
Molly do you mind me asking you a personal question? How long did you wait to sleep with him? I am waiting untill i am going to have a ring on my finger before I do.
Hi Molly
Those old doctor are asshole. He’s really has EGo about himself. But the way sex was good probably he’s taking some medecine))))
I saw him Last Friday with another young girl. He said that it’s his friend. What’s a joke?!!!!! All his friends are young hot girls!
How’s so easy find this young girls? -Because he’s a doctor and has a nice car? Or his money?
Sorry for my English
Oh, we would never get married, I’m not waiting for that. Se* was first time we saw each other (he went after me)! Best first date I (and him too,from the response) ever had! A year and a half later, he still remembers all the details of it
That’s my “problem” I guess, but it’s also the glue that keeps us together, and I so do not regret it. I’m not complaining, or expecting him to change, just trying to compare behaviors of this species that is the surgeon, and in turn the (usually unhealthy) behavior it encourages in us. So Clementine, if holding out is your strategy, good for you. If you break up before that, it would suck that you’d have to wonder if that is why. In the end though, it’s all about staying true to yourself and your beliefs 
Anonymous, so sorry you had to catch him with another girl, that never feels good, but at least you know what he’s like now. Can’t blame a guy for using his “star” power to get some action. He probably could never get attention before getting his MD. If he has a brain, he’ll get bored with that eventually.
Molly….you see what i have come to realize is that we love each other and he is willing to wait for me, after 4 months. There are so many qualities i see in him that i never have seen in another man in my eyes he is god….and also i see fear in him…fear that he will loose me! And he is not afraid of anything. I care for him, without giving into him. Our relationship is intense, the feelings are intense, overwhelming even, we make out but it stops there. That’s how overtime I think guys or any men fall in love with you. I know in my heart that I met my future husband. Now i just have to wait.
Molly where do u live?
Thanks for advice. It’s so nice to talk to u.
I feel so lonely in this country(( So funny,I had so many jerks already( All what they want form me -it’s sex(( Just realized that to be cute and skinny doesn’t help to find a nice guy .
What helps you find the right guy is loving yourself and having selfconfidence. Men love that. Also do not sleep with men, don’t give them what they want. show them your will power…
Yes, my doc says that is something he really likes about me. He say I have real confidence, not the pseudo-confidence other women who flaunt their bodies have. But I do love sex and I’m not denying myself when I’m with him. Life is too short! We are so compatible that way too. I think he fell for me since I was so willing to break it off, he’s never come across a girl who would break up with him! He’s used to girls running after him, the girl doing all the work. Well, I am likewise used to the guy doing all the work. So for him to talk to me or see me again, he has to do the work. And that makes me different from all the other girls. So yes, don’t lose yourself to him, stay independent. It helps you and he will be attracted to that too. A study said that anxiety plus hope encourage the “falling in love.” So keep him guessing (anxiety) but give him hope (don’t ignore him completely). Enjoy!
My doctor is an OB/Gyn and we live in different cities 3 hrs away. We met on match.com 1 yr. ago. He contacted me through a long detailed email. I responded back with only a few words at that time. As the getting to know one another process went on…He “ASKED” if we could date exclusively b/c he liked what he heard, like what he saw on the website and wanted me to be his lady. Within the first 3 months of the relationship, he explained to me in detail of what our relationship will be like b/c of his long hrs. and the demands of his specialty career. I must admit, I did not like it, but I accepted it. He said that what he needs from me is my devoted love, loyalty, support, encouragement, cooperation and patience. He promised me that once his residency is over, (8 more months to go) he would be the loving and devoted friend, husband, partner and one day father to our children. So far, I have only seen him 3 times, but he calls me often and text as often as he can. We are very sexy together. We have had disagreements along the way and I can recall 2 times that I have basically tried to push him away b/c I didn’t know if this DOC thing was the right fit for me. He has chased me back both times. The last time, he called me and said, “SINCITY” (he used my real name here) It would hurt me deeply if we were not together. I’m so distracted about our conversation, I had to leave the hospital and take a walk to call you and make this right. I can’t afford to be distracted in my line of work. He said, since we got off the phone, I have written 2 scripts wrong and made an error when writing in a patients chart. I care about you and love you deeply. My BF (who is also here in med school with me) knows how I feel about you and how important our relationship is to me. Although you have never met my mother or anyone else in my family…trust me when I say they already know about you. LADIES: I knew then, that I had myself a wonderful man first and a doctor second! He confesses his love for me on a routine consistent basis. He said once we are married, we will have a date night once a week. I can choose the night and his pager and both our cell phones would go off and that time will be devoted to me and me only. He expressed that his regular work hours would be Mon. – Fri. 8-7pm usually b/c of the rounds at the hospital, but he would have lunch with me during the day and I could come and visit him at the office when he knew that he would be at the office longer than usual. What more could I ask for. He’s willing to share his busy days with me. My heart was overwhelmed and made me fall head over hills for him even more. We laugh all the time. Laughter is important and it takes the edge off his stressful days. He has taught me that when a “man” loves you and see’s a future with you, “HE Will” talk about a future with you. Every man knows within the first 3 months of a relationship if you are a keeper, “marriage material”. He is very consistent when he talks to me or leaves me voice mail, texting….baby, sweetie, honey! I LOVE IT! I don’t sweat him with the small stuff about calling and texting every single day b/c of the demands of his career. I know that he loves me and I’m in his future b/c he tells me. We talk about the details of our future. He talks about us getting married, buying a home, having a baby together, joining our families. I know in my soul that he is “Mr. Right”! Doctors have really big ego’s about their careers and high demands on their time. Its nothing wrong with stroking it from time to time….Especially if he’s your man! He’s worth it! Don’t put so many demands on the relationship when it starts. If you do, you will run them off real quick. Know that he/she is trying to juggle both and that takes skills. Value all the times that you do spend together. Be excited when he calls! Text back when he text you! You both should be taking each others temperature every time you have an opportunity to see one another, talk to one another and text one another. My life partner has told me that he would need me the most…when something goes terribly wrong at the hospital. DON’T NAG!!! MEN don’t like that.
Best of Luck to you all and hang in there! I’m so happy and blessed with my OB/GYN Doc!!
Hi, I just stumbled upon this site. I started dating a surgeon (2nd year plastics resident) about 2 months ago. We only see each other on Saturdays though because of his schedule but when we are together he is wonderful. I’m very involved already despite his warnings about his schedule and his current situation. In addition to working as a resident, he’s in the process of applying for his fellowship and since he’s not from the US he may have to go back home to Europe after fellowship. The girls he dated here broke up with him because they don’t want to have to move when he goes but if we get to that point (which I hope we do) I would move. My question is, is it normal that he only sees me one night a week? I’ve never dated someone that didn’t have a 9-5 job so I can’t help feeling sad and insecure thinking he doesn’t wanna spend more time with me. I know he’s not dating anyone else cause we’ve discussed that. See, i’m free all weekend and all I want to do is be with him, especially now that we’re in the beginning….I feel so lonely. Do you all feel like that too? Should I take it personal that has no more time for me or is that really how it goes? Thank you, it feels nice to be able to talk about it!
Hi Anonymous-
He liked that I am independent and busy, so I would be less lonely. They have a personality of trying to “have it all,” and to try to have a decent relationship with a “quality person” is in that category. But having decided to become a surgeon means they place any close relationships in a distant second place after their careers. So given that, don’t expect much, and don’t expect that to change. Good luck!
Yes, the once a week thing is what my surgeon set up from the beginning– lucky you get him for the whole day thought, mine was just one week night a week. But then he goes out of town alot, so sometimes it was seeing him only one night a month or even two months
I’m dating an oral surgeon for a couple of months. He tells me when he’s super busy and when he has down time. I’m 45 and he’s 55. We both had been married for over 25 years and didn’t know each other previous to our divorces. He’s been divorced for 2 years, mine was just finalized. I want to be his everything, but don’t want to be demanding since he has 2 practices…….
My question, how do I know if he wants a future with me? He says wonderful things to me about the future and when we spend time together – especially our nights are fantastic. But what do I do now?
Hi Anonymous- an oral surgeon/dentist should be pretty much like a “normal” guy. He probably doesn’t get a ton of off-hours emergencies. 50 year old men are generally more ready to settle down, per statistics. But it depends on why he got a divorce. Did his wife initial or him? Infidelity? If he doesn’t give you an explanation, the infidelity is probably it. If he does’t try to include you in on future plans, he is still planning on a future as a “lone wolf” I would think. But maybe he wants someone to grow old with. That might be nice