Today’s compliment goes to Mama Kats Losin’ It. She’s witty, she’s kind, and she does something every Wednesday that any blogger or writer loves: a writing prompt.
Not only is this a great opportunity for the rest of us bloggers to gain a few links, but it’s great to exercise that creative muscle.
The prompt I chose is If you had to star in a reality TV show, which one would it be and why? Here’s my response:
Life and Times of a 21st Century Genius
It’s not if I’ll star in a reality TV show, it’s when I’ll star in a reality television show. My first preference for a show will my own, of course. I mean, who wouldn’t want to watch me live my daily life and see all the fascinating things I do.
Like the minutes I waste every morning waiting in line for my latte. Or the first hour of my work day when I surf the web, read the news, and harass other bloggers with my wickedly novel comments.
There’d be so much action in my life that they’d need more than one cameraman at all times. Like during the best part of my day, when I go next door to chat with my co-worker. We complain mostly about traffic, weather, work load, and bosses, but whatever the topic, it’s always titillating.
Then, the cameras would follow me as I walk from office to office to share my insights into making the business run better. I will expel summaries of meetings this other person wasn’t in and share reflections on something I read.
After I’ve impressed everyone with my astounding intellect, it’ll be time for lunch. It will take me another 15 or so minutes to find someone who is going to a place that I have an interest in.
One lady will say tuna sandwiches from the deli. She always says that and every day I say no way. Burritos from the burrito place the IT guys will say – forget it.
I won’t stop pacing these halls until someone sys sushi. Sushi dammit! That’s what someone of my celebrity status needs to eat for lunch.
Finally I will have found someone to eat lunch with me and the cameras will follow us into my co-workers two-door Civic. It’ll be a little tight in there between the microphones and and lights. But we will make it work.
Then after, 45 minutes of talking about last night’s TV line up, the producer will call my cell phone and encourage me and my co-worker to rear-end someone on the way back to work. They need a “teaser” for the following episode, and like they say: “If it bleeds, it leads!”
My co-worker and I talk about it for a minute and when she finally believes my lies that the network will pay her insurance deductible, she agrees. Problem is the person she rear-ends must be an illegal driver because he drives away so fast after the accident that the camera crew doesn’t have time to get out of the car for the footage.
Oh well, there’s always the next day.
After lunch I’ll catch up on the news and blog posts, then head to a committee meeting. We’re planning the holiday party right now and it’s critical that I be there. If I don’t speak up about the karaoke machine, then no one will.
Then it will be about 3:30pm and I’ll panic a little about the fact that I haven’t done any work that day. I’ll have a heart to heart with the camera over the pains and struggles I have in my job. I’m not fulfilled. I’m not challenged. My boss doesn’t appreciate me. I’m thinking about a lawsuit. It’ll be a tough confession. I might even cry a little.
Then, motivated to work, the cameras will record me staring at my computer screen for minutes without blinking, typing maniacally and returning phone calls to the east coast where it’s now 7pm and I know no one is at their desks.
Once the work day is over I’ll head home to have dinner and a brutal argument with my boyfriend. We’ll be in the midst of discussing our recent problems, which will be timely since the reality show is going on and everything.
What he won’t realize is that I’ve been cheating on him. I can’t seem to stop because I think its fun and it doesn’t ever occur to me that he’ll find out once the show airs. He’ll find out one night when we’re snuggled up on the couch eating sushi and watching the third episode. He’ll dump me, but take me back after the network offers me a second season of Life and Times of a 21st Century Genius.
The second season will be better than the first because that’s when I’ll accidentally get pregnant.
And if Life and Times of a 21st Century Genius doesn’t work out, then I’ll try out for Survivor. Is that show even on the air anymore?
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