Dating Tales

There are a number of things to consider when planning a destination wedding including location, photography, the price for you and your soon-to-be spouse and the price for your guests. A destination wedding, although still a wedding, has many idiosyncrasies that need to be paid attention to.

The first thing to focus on are marriage laws.

Laws vary from county to country so it’s recommended that you research this first and before you become too attached to a particular location. Here are a few popular beach wedding destinations and their laws.

Aruba: To get married in Aruba you need to send in the proper paperwork at least 14 days in advance. All civil ceremonies must take place at the Civil Town House in Oranjestad, but a religious or other ceremony can be held elsewhere.

Mexico: Here foreigners are allowed to be married but it must be done by a Registro Civil officer in a civil ceremony. A series of documents and steps need to be taken—for example, blood tests and applications—so be sure to gather the necessary documents before you arrive in Mexico.

Greece: In order to get married here you have to get special permission from the president of the community you choose.

Jamaica: You need to be in the country for at least two working days before you tie the knot.

Florida: Like some other states, Florida offers a state-sanctioned marriage preparation course. Although it’s not required, it does reduce the marriage license fee and decreases your wait time to receive the actual license.  The wait time is typically three days, and there are no out-of-the-ordinary requirements.

Second, think long and hard about average temperatures, precipitation, and time of sunset.

A search on weather.com will give you average temps and inches of precipitation for each month. Although its romantic to have a beach side wedding, nothing is more disappointing than having to postpone your nuptials. Choose a location during a time when your chances for good weather are high.

Also, consider the sun light for your wedding. You want your photographer to take photos with optimal lighting. Although sunsets are beautiful, they may be harder to capture.

Third, it’s not just your budget that might be breaking.

Yes, weddings are expensive and no matter how hard you try you may spend thousands instead of hundreds. Just make sure to be sensitive to the budgets of your guests. Just because the wedding package in your chosen destination is less expensive than another, it doesn’t mean it will be affordable for your grandmother. Always double and triple check plane ticket costs, hotel rates, and food expenses before you agree to anything.

Last, three rules all brides and grooms must follow.

There are some rules that apply to all weddings whether it takes place on a beach or not.

1. Wear a dress that you can stand to be in for 12 hours.

2. When in doubt, don’t invite your crazy relatives and friends.

3. Last but definitely not least, say yes like you mean it.

I watched the movie Failure to Launch where Sarah Jessica Parker plays the role of a professional dater who specializes in getting men to move out of their parents house. In the movie she is hired by a guy’s parents (the guy is played by Matthew McConaughey) to basically give them the confidence to leave the nest.

I know it seems a bit like a stretch, but it was a cute movie and there was one element of the movie that really stuck with me. Sarah’s character says that in order to get a guy to like you there are three things that must happen.

1. The guy must be able to help the girl with a problem of some sort. In the movie she pretends that her dog is dying and she’s very sad about it. Boo hoo.

2. The girl must meet the guy’s friends who need to like her enough to give an approving nod. A game of paintball was enough to get her the nod in the movie.

3. In order for a guy to really fall for a girl he needs to teach her something. In Failure to Launch he taught her to sail. Ahoy matey.

I had a similar experience not too long ago. I was meeting up with a guy at a bar. When I arrived he already had a drink and was back playing pool. I stood in line at the bar for something like 15 minutes and got nowhere. There were so many people the massive line just didn’t move.

He came up, pushed his way through, and within a couple of minutes had gotten me a lovely Bud Light. Piece number one of the formula finished.

We then headed over to the pool table where he had already started a game. I watched him play and complimented him on his “technique/ass” whenever I felt it was appropriate.

When it was time for the two of us to play together he kindly made suggestions on my game. I feigned disappointment in my abilities to “break” and asked him to show me how he does it. Gladly, he walked over and gave me the lo’ down.

Phase two completed.

Two Bud Lights and a game of pool later, a group of guys walked up to my date and began high-fiving him and then pretend hugging like guys do. I was a little thrown off to realize that I’d be meeting friends of my date, but after a couple of minutes I realized that it was a good thing. My date liked me and had brought in his entourage to confirm I was worth liking.  The third item on the list was checked off.

I guess my situation isn’t really all that similar to the movie. I mean, he didn’t live with his parents, he certainly did’t look like Matthew McConaughey, and there were not paintballs or sail boats around. But he did manage to help me with my dilemma at the bar, help me to resolve my billiards “problem,” and introduce me to his friends.

Moral of the story: All of your love life dillemas can be resolved through chick flics and the Dating Tales profile writing service.

Summer’s over and so is your fling. The only problem is that he doesn’t know it yet. Breaking up is never easy and there isn’t a good time to make it happen either. But there are times that are better than some, and consider today one of those times. Here’s why.

You’ve got 39 days before Halloween where you’ll be forced to dress up in some sort of couple-themed costume. If you break up before the leaves fall  you can wear the slutty costume you really want to wear anyway.

Engagement season begins in November and ends in February. Avoid a really uncomfortable situation with him on his knee by making a run for it now.

Thanksgiving is 66 days away and if you break up now you won’t have to buy any plane tickets to get to his grandma’s house.

Christmas is 94 days away and the sooner you break up the less likely you’ll have to buy him a gift.

New Year’s Eve is 100 days away. The last thing you want to do is suck face with a guy you can’t stand.

Valentine’s Day is 145 days away and if you start looking now, you might be able find a new sweetheart by then.

Once you’re rid of the current guy, start looking for the new one online. Dating Tales can help you out with your online dating profile. Fill out the initial questionaire for free!

Here is a dating tip for you: Don’t listen to Doctor Laura! Now I’m not saying the well-known talk show radio personality doesn’t have good ideas or great advice (at times), but she’s just mean and pretty full of herself too. I can’t imagine anyone giving good advice to someone else when they are so self-absorbed.

The reason for my rant is because of only 10 minutes I spent listening to her the other day. A woman called in to discuss an issue she was having with her husband. You see, the husband wanted a second child and the caller did not so she was reaching out to Dr. Laura for some family advice on how to handle the matter.  The doctor immediately cut off the caller and continued to demoralize the husband saying that he was basically a bad guy for not listening to what his wife wants.

Isn’t it interesting that she criticized the man for not listening to this woman?

To make matters worse, the caller then said that her husband didn’t like Doctor Laura because she didn’t allow people to think for themselves. Doctor Laura cut off the caller to say things like “I’ve never heard that before” and “That’s interesting coming from a man that doesn’t care what you want.” As Laura continued to to berate the husband for being a jerk, the caller quietly stayed on the line just accepting the way this woman put down her family. Laura went on and on about how the husband was a mind-controller and an all-around bad guy.

I have one question. What kind of family advice is that?

You side with a woman that doesn’t want any more children and then you convince her that her husband is a bad guy. Well, if there were ever a way to save a marriage I’d say that’s NOT it. Get over yourself lady.

I would not wish this on my worst enemy.

They start young.