Dating Tales

It was a sad, sad morning for a friend of mine today. After what started off as a great night out at a local discotheque followed by a couple of drinks and a healthy serving of the only nachos worth eating after 12:30 am at a nearby dive bar, the night took a nosedive into Crapville when her most recent ex walked through the door.

It’s a little blurry (thanks to two dirty martinis and several Bud Lights) what happened next, but I’m pretty sure it involved another girl, fake smiles, and lots of tears. This morning I went to her place to cheer her up with bagels and a bloody mary and then also to piece the night back together again. I’m a lot like Humpty Dumpty, my friends say.

If the scene at the bar wasn’t enough, I guess after the cab dropped her off at home the sleeze ball felt the need to text message her half a dozen times with one sleezier message after the next. He wanted to come over and when she turned him down he got mean.

I felt (and feel) so bad for my friend. We’ve all been there and there’s no solace for a mending heart that is forced to deal with the cause of its injury with a blood alcohol content of .10.

After we finished our morning beverages I did manage to get my trooper of a friend smiling again, but the real magic happened when I started shopping online. While she was on the phone relaying the whole episode to another one of our friends, I visited eBags to look for the best “I’m hot and happy to be single” handbag I could find. And of course, I found something like eight of them.

After she hung up the phone I reminded her that there is free shipping on handbags at eBags.com and then left her to her devices. She just called a couple of minutes ago thanking me for wiping tears and agreeing to hate the monster for all my live long days, and also for recommending a new handbag. Her favorite “I Spy” should be arriving sometime next week.

So far all of you out there nursing your hangovers and heartaches, try a new handbag. You’ll be put all back together again, I promise.