What the Chiropractor Said to My Handbag

I suffer from chronic neck pain. It’s probably not fair to throw the word chronic in there because no one has ever told me that my condition is chronic. All I know is that my neck seems to always hurt and frankly, I’m just annoyed by it and I’ll call it chronic if I want because it makes me feel better. Sigh. Anyway.

You don’t think about the importance of your neck until you can’t turn your head to change lanes. Or until you can’t get out of a yoga move without someone spotting your noggen.

Needless to say my neck pain/frustration has gotten the best of me and so last week I visited a chiropractor for the very first time. Not knowing anything about chiropractic work all I expected was some popping and cracking here and there; the last thing I expected was a lecture on my fashion accessories.

According to the chiropractor my eight-pound Golden Goddess Satchel is pulling my right shoulder and hip out of alignment. The dull aching in my back is a direct result of carrying my Satchel around all day and the shooting pains in my neck are a secondary result of the bag because of the way I baby the rest of my body to accomodate its shape and size.

He said he’d pop my body back into shape for $35 a whack, but he needs me to give up the bag for awhile. I said, “Heck no, the bag won’t go. I just spent a big chunk of a pay check on that thing.”

I will, however, take my water bottle, 600-page book, running shoes, lunch bag, and journal out of the Satchel. That should lighten it up a bit. Ya think?

Beautiful, isn’t it?

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