Dating Tales

Our good friend Anonymous has followed up with Dating Tales to let us know how his grocery store mama is doing. If you didn’t read my original post, Finding Love in the Cereal Aisle, you should read that first so this makes sense.

Here is the post from Anonymous: 

Sara,

I took your advice, along with some others and approached the woman at the grocery store that I was referring to. Yesterday I set it up so that I would end up in her cashier lane. She was pretty busy so I didn’t say much because I am a shy person when I first get to know someone. However, before I left I said, ” I hope that I am not out of line, but take a look at this when you have a minute.” I gave her my business card with a note on the back. The note said, “Hi, I shop here regularly and have been wanting to talk to you, but you are always busy. My name is **** and I would like to get to know you better. My phone number is ***-***-****. I hope you call.

I go to this place a few times a week because it is also where I bank. I know that in a previous post you stated to just smile and say hi when I see her. Other than this, do you have any other suggestions regarding approaches?

Thanks,
Anonymous

*****************

I stand by my original advice. You did your part so now just go with the flow.  Continue to be friendly and say hi; it’s even ok to go through her line from time to time. Maybe in a couple months if nothing has happened you could approach her again and say something like, “Do you remember me from 2 months ago? I gave you my card. Any chance I could take you to dinner?”

Regardless of what happens you did good. You took a risk and that’s what life and dating is all about.

Last summer I served as a bridesmaid in a friend’s wedding. After a very unfortunate event, I lost my Hobo International Rachel Wallet that I doubled as a clutch. It’s been eight months and I’m still not over it. That’s how much I loved that thing.

So picture this. Its hours and many drinks after the reception and I’ve found myself on the beach behind the hotel where the bridal party was staying. I wasn’t alone. I was accompanied by several friends, the bride, her mother, and a couple of cutie groomsmen. The party had been so fun that we weren’t ready for it to be over and it seemed only logical to get our feet wet…literally.

Some time went by and I found myself and one of the cutie groomsmen on a beach chair alone. In between a couple of make out sessions (I’ll spare you the details) I excused myself to find a place to pee.


Coincidentally I ran into my friend Jenny who was looking to do the same. We carefully selected a spot away from any light and partially hidden by a break. We took a few steps into the water and standing side by side we lifted our dresses above our heads, dropped our drawers, and squatted. I tucked my camel colored Rachel under my left arm and used my right hand to hold my dress in place.

Everything was going great until a wave came causing me to lose my balance. I needed both hands to keep me from falling in the water and in just a millisecond my clutch fell from my arm and into the water.

I shrieked to Jenny that I had dropped my Rachel wallet and was now peeing on my leg and britches. Of course she started shrieking too and then the both of us were splashing back and forth looking for the wallet.

But it was a lost cause. It was too dark. The water was moving too fast. And let’s face it, I was too drunk to know what the heck to do. So goodbye Hobo International Rachel Wallet I miss you.

Ever wonder about your street cred when it comes to kissing? Me too. This topic has been on my mind lately, which you probably know after reading my post “Dear Ex-Boyfriend, You Were a Bad Kisser.” Well here you go again, if any of the following things have happened to you, then its time to improve your skills. Pucker up people. Kiss well and kiss often. 

1) You’re done kissing and she wipes her cheek with the back of her hand.

2) She hands you a piece gum immediately afterward.

3) You say things like “Wanna go park?” or “Wanna neck?”

4) She doesn’t kiss you during foreplay.

5) She pulls away abruptly and gives you a funny look.

6) She says: “Where’d you learn that?” or “We can hold hands instead.”

7) She stops you and says, “Try this instead.”

Anyone who knows me well can attest to my non-violent nature. Last night that non-violent side of me disappeared after three glasses of wine and 1 1/2 hours of watching the movie Superbad.

And that something is misdirected violence.

While sitting on the couch I practiced balancing a tennis ball on my head with arms spread wide. This is not an easy task and one that I admit to be quite good at. Apparently watching me do this for 20 or so minutes was somewhat annoying to the boyfriend. To get that point across he took the ball from me and then threw it in my general direction.

The ball landed on the couch, which I was now standing in front of. In pure football tackle form (or at least what I would call tackle form) he started to race toward me. To keep him from grabbing the tennis ball and to keep him from tackling me, I put my hands out to stop him at his shoulders.

Instead I stopped him at his face.

With a fingernail I managed to slice the side of his forehead, even drawing blood. He claims I attacked him, but I claim bad aim and self defense. Though this morning upon seeing the swollen red bump on his face, I do feel a little bit like an abuser.

I blame Superbad. That movie’ll make anybody a little crazy. I don’t recommend it. For your boyfriend’s sake, don’t watch it.

During some recent travel I overheard a lot of romance talk from airline staff. I heard things like:

(Woman on cell phone) “What am I supposed to think when I see you traveling with a woman during the holidays?”

-and-

(3 flight attendants on the shuttle) “My roommate, another flight attendant from another airline–can’t keep her mouth shut. I never tell her what pilot I’m flying with.”

-and-

(4 male pilots and 1 female pilot sitting at the Starbucks) “We got shitfaced in Atlanta. I’m not sure how I got home.” (followed by belly laughs all around)

This got me thinking whether or not the stereotypes about dating a pilot are true. So here it goes, the pros and cons of dating a pilot as I see it.