Dating Tales

I’ve had many bad first kisses in my time. For that matter, I’ve had plenty of bad second, third, and fourth kisses too. One of the worst kisses involved an injury.

Like many first kisses, it was precluded by lots of drinks at a club. The overhead lights were dim and the black lights and disco balls were in full affect. With both of these two factors in action it was near impossible to tell a cute guy from the next, but in my drunk state, I was confident the man with me dancing was gorgeous.

A few more trips to the bar for beers and I started liking this guy more and more. When we snuggled in the back booth to make out I was delighted (it must have been the beers), but when my tongue braised the bottom of his teeth my delight faded. I couldn’t help but notice the sharp edges of two of his teeth. Seconds later I felt one of those sharp edges pierce the tip of my tongue.In pain, I flinched and pulled away feeling the taste buds on my tongue vibrate with the music. I tried to recover, but it just couldn’t be done. Moments later the lights came on and revealed the man in his full glory. Turns out this man was more gorgeous than I thought.

The pain magically subsided, and I went back in for another kiss, but not before he smiled and I noticed those teeth. Those pointy, sharp, and about as yellow as I’ve ever seen teeth.

I’m no tooth model and I recognize I sound superficial, but the beautiful brown locks and glistening blue eyes could not make up for the oral hygiene.

Here’s a dating tip for those that need it: caps and bleach could get you a second make-out session. Try Ivory White teeth whitener. Note: if you sign up for Ivory White, the product will automatically be shipped to you and your credit card automatically charged. Don’t blame me, just thank me for your second make out session.