Dating Tales

For only $16.2 million, Georges Marciano, the founder of Guess clothing company, purchased the largest high-quality diamond ever found. Sotheby’s (one of the world’s largest auction houses) sold the 84.37 carat rock last week and now it’s making the news.

You obviously can’t wear this thing, but it might make a nice centerpiece. But then again, who feels comfortable with a $16 million centerpiece. Maybe Mr. Marciano just wants to tell people that he has it and then leave it in a safe somewhere.

If only I were rich…

I had been dating my boyfriend for about a year when I decided to bring over an alarm clock. I wasn’t moving in, per se, but I was staying over enough nights to require a proper waking each morning.

It was a simple enough process, really. I moved the night stand on my side of the bed away from the wall an inch or two and threw the cord behind the table. I wasn’t able to reach the outlet by just standing there so I laid down on the floor to reach the plug.

Not surprisingly I had to reach through an assortment of dust bunnies and change to connect the plug to the outlet. What was surprising, though, was the presence of a yellow scrunchy. Maybe it was more like an elastic, but either way, it was not mine.

In walks the BF and I throw the soft hair tie his direction asking who the other woman is. He laughs and I laugh knowing that there is no other woman. I know this because of the dust bunnies and because no one has worn a yellow scrunchy since the 90s… or at least I hope so.

My concern changed. I don’t think he’s seeing someone else. But what kind of woman was he seeing before me? The kind of woman to wear a yellow scrunchy?

Was she a fashion imbecile? Was she an athlete? Was she 20 years older than me?

I never got an answer. My boyfriend couldn’t stop laughing long enough to answer my questions.

1. Come here often?
2. You give great e-mail.
3. You’re an excellent writer. Not everyone knows how to use an em dash.
4. Beautiful picture. With you in it, I barely noticed the Grand Canyon.
5. All my favorite people are Sagittarius.
6. You look hot on paper. I bet you’re even better in person.
7. Love your adjectives. No one uses the word “amiable” like you do.
8. Do you like me? (Pick one) Yes No
9. In the subject line: I’ve met you before. In the email: My dreams.
10. You kinda look like someone famous, but cuter.

For more lines like these visit the DatingTales compliments soundboard. And, if you want help writing your online profile, learn more about the DatingTales profile writing service.

Have you read about the eighth-grade girl from Missouri who received two days of detention for hugging her friends? Apparently the school district has a strict rule against public displays of affection, which is evident in the fact that this otherwise well-behaved 13-year-old served her second day of detention yesterday.

The associated press quotes the student saying: “I’m just hoping the school board will open their eyes and just realize that maybe they shouldn’t be punishing us for hugs.”

Well said. For the full story visit MSNBC.com.

I agree that public displays of affection (often referred to as PDA in middle-schools across the country) is inappropriate. I don’t like doing it and I don’t like seeing other people doing it, but what is IT? I think the problem here is in the semantics.

According to the DatingTales First Edition Dictionary, public display of affection is defined as physical contact between two or more people romantically involved in the presence of others who are not romantically involved with the subjects performing or receiving the affection. Example: kissing (with or without tongue), groping, grabbing personal parts, or sexualized hugging. See bump and grind.

So there is your answer. I don’t think we should teach our young people that affection is bad. It is certainly not punishable. However, the grabbing personal parts thing may be.

We all have been in a situation where we look back and say we should’ve known our ex was an abuser, a cheater, or a jerk. It’s easy to do in hindsight. I know because I’ve done it at least 18 times.

The reality is that because we liked the guy we justified the red flag so much so that it became more pink than red. That may be OK to do sometimes, but be honest with yourself. If, in fact, the flag is very red, then don’t ignore it and get out before it’s too late. Here are five examples of red flags:

1. Too rough. If even when playing around he grabs you too hard, twists an arm, or pushes you, he’s no good. A respectful person will never try to hurt his partner, even when they are just playing around.

2. “Who’s that guy?” syndrome. Chances are that if you get 20 questions over seemingly unimportant parts of your day that he is insecure. Everyone is a little jealous, even in a healthy relationship, but know the difference between a little and a lot of jealousy. If he puts you down or accuses you of things, then consider it a red flag.

3. Listen to your sister. There are exceptions to this rule, but know that your family and friends love you and want what is best for you. If someone close to you doesn’t like him, at least consider what they have to say about your new man.

4. What happened to the things you used to do? It’s natural to fall in love and have a few of your priorities change. You may spend less time on your hobbies or see your friends less, but don’t eliminate these things entirely. Consider it a red flag if your significant other makes you feel guilty for doing things on your own or prevents you from spending time with your friends.

5. One minute he’s sweet, the next he’s scary. Instability makes you worry about what kind of mood he’ll be in once you get home or about rearranging your day just to make him happy. The reality is that you should be with someone that is stable and who treats you well all the time.

Visit the DatingTales online dating guide for more tips like these, because these five red flags only scratch the surface.