Oct 31st, 2007
Who Should Pay on the First Date?
For decades this question has gone unanswered and it’s time we settle the issue. I’d like to know and I know you, the reader and dater, want to know too. Who should pay for the first date?
For me, this inquiry was recently brought up after a friend and I discussed an awkward date with a very cheap man. You actually know part of this “missed connection” story because I told it in my “Women Picking Up Men, It’s a Beautiful Thing” post.
The good news is that my friend did go on a date with the cute boy from Craigslist, but the bad news is that he was weird about the bill. So weird, in fact, that she won’t go out with him again.
The story goes like this: At the end of the date she went for her credit card expecting him to say, “No, no. I got it.” When he didn’t say anything she was still OK with paying half because in her mind that was perfectly fair anyway.
But things got weird when he started adding up what was hers (1 beer and 1 burger) and what was his (1 burger). After totaling his amount owed, he opened up his wallet for her to see that there were at least 10, very crisp, twenty dollar bills inside. To make matters worse, he left a $1 tip.
The feminist in me says that women should be willing to pay for half or all of the bill, but then the traditionalist in me says that I should be wined and dined. What do you think? Answer the poll and leave your comments with your ideas. It’s time we settle this issue once and for all.
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The problem with “whomever asks for the date should pay” is that who is always expected to ask? Ladies, what’s the ratio of men who ask women out to women who ask men out?
The problem with women who want to lean on the old-fashioned/chivalrous or “it’s just traditional” way of thinking is that they’re saying “we want equality, just not when dating.” That’s the proverbial ‘cake and eat it too’ attitude that sets back women’s true equality movement.
If a woman claims a man should pay for a date because it’s “tradition” and the way it’s always been done and its expected, etc, few would jump down her throat for thinking that way. But if the man wanted to bring up his ‘expectations’ and “tradition”, i.e. that she will clean, cook, defer to him, and sleep with him, all of a sudden, he’s a misogynist pig.
See the hypocrisy?
I see your point completely McGrunt. It’s a tough thing for the modern woman who wants to be progressive but treated like a queen too.
I think that women should be asking more men out, should be paying for more dates, and I also think they should be making more money.
How do we make this happen?
[...] months ago I asked, who should pay on a first date? Quite a few of you answered and I think the answer is pretty clear. Whoever asks for the date [...]
… and who is always expected to ask?
I see you have a strong opinion on this, McGrunt. I think its safe to say that most women want men to do the asking; not because its an equality thing, but because its a scary thing.
But that’s not ALL women. I have plenty of girlfriends that have done a bit of asking themselves.