Comments on: Dating a Doctor: Pros and Cons http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/ Chronicles for the single, the formerly single, and those wishing they were single. Wed, 21 Jul 2010 16:37:05 +0000 hourly 1 By: molly http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-6/#comment-21515 molly Tue, 15 Jun 2010 17:06:32 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21515 Hi Eyland- Gee, he can make his own schedule? Yes, that's what my dr. says too! If I tell him far enough in advance, he is able to get some time off to do something with me. But usually it is odd spots of time he gets available during the day, like if a surgery is canceled last-minute. He is in a senior position and certainly has much more control over his work schedule relative to the other doctors. But that still means 60 hour+ work weeks. And I think they get so used to all that work for so long, they don't know how to switch back to being normal by the time they do have more freedom. My dr really does love his job too, he says he does not plan to ever retire. Yours is a dr of internal medicine? I don't know enough about the type of schedule to expect for each specialty, but I thought internal medicine is kinda like a general practicioner/family doctor type? That's not regular office hours? Does he do research too? Mine does. I tried dating other guys, but I am not slick, not comfortable still seeing him and seeing others. And he is fairly jealous and insecure for some reason (tall, dark and handsome doctor who is insecure? that's so cute!), needs reassurance that I'm not seeing anyone else, that he is the "best," etc. I figure if a month goes by and he hasn't called me, then I will probably feel free to move on. He keeps calling though, and stupid me, I keep answering the phone when he does! Hi Eyland-
Gee, he can make his own schedule? Yes, that’s what my dr. says too! If I tell him far enough in advance, he is able to get some time off to do something with me. But usually it is odd spots of time he gets available during the day, like if a surgery is canceled last-minute. He is in a senior position and certainly has much more control over his work schedule relative to the other doctors. But that still means 60 hour+ work weeks. And I think they get so used to all that work for so long, they don’t know how to switch back to being normal by the time they do have more freedom. My dr really does love his job too, he says he does not plan to ever retire. Yours is a dr of internal medicine? I don’t know enough about the type of schedule to expect for each specialty, but I thought internal medicine is kinda like a general practicioner/family doctor type? That’s not regular office hours? Does he do research too? Mine does.

I tried dating other guys, but I am not slick, not comfortable still seeing him and seeing others. And he is fairly jealous and insecure for some reason (tall, dark and handsome doctor who is insecure? that’s so cute!), needs reassurance that I’m not seeing anyone else, that he is the “best,” etc. I figure if a month goes by and he hasn’t called me, then I will probably feel free to move on. He keeps calling though, and stupid me, I keep answering the phone when he does!

]]> By: Eyland http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-6/#comment-21508 Eyland Mon, 14 Jun 2010 23:06:43 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21508 Molly, funny my best girlfriend's name is Molly. I know what you mean, but i guess dating a physician is a double edge sword. On one hand society values them on the other hand they are never there lOL so i guess "dating" a doctor is an oxymoron because you are not really dating them they are sort of in your mind like this perfect man but in reality they are not, just because society values them and they are good with their hands, doesn't make them a ray of sunshine in understanding one's needs in the relationship. I have branched out i am seeing other people right now. whats funny thouh Molly, is that he says he can make his own schedule but never there, i mean WTF? thoughts? Molly, funny my best girlfriend’s name is Molly. I know what you mean, but i guess dating a physician is a double edge sword. On one hand society values them on the other hand they are never there lOL so i guess “dating” a doctor is an oxymoron because you are not really dating them they are sort of in your mind like this perfect man but in reality they are not, just because society values them and they are good with their hands, doesn’t make them a ray of sunshine in understanding one’s needs in the relationship. I have branched out i am seeing other people right now. whats funny thouh Molly, is that he says he can make his own schedule but never there, i mean WTF? thoughts?

]]> By: molly http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-6/#comment-21506 molly Mon, 14 Jun 2010 21:46:52 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21506 Eyeland- Wow, you describe my last 6 months perfectly! So yes, I guess this is what you can expect to continue. Not fun. Yes, get out, find a normal person who you can share your life with! That is not so easy for me though. I compare other guys to him and they don't measure up. For example, I went out with a chiropractor who tried to give me a massage. He thinks he's a doctor? He's not a REAL doctor. He thinks he's good with his hands? He's NOT good with his hand like a heart surgeon is!! I set myself up for failure, I know-- LOL! Eyeland-
Wow, you describe my last 6 months perfectly! So yes, I guess this is what you can expect to continue. Not fun. Yes, get out, find a normal person who you can share your life with! That is not so easy for me though. I compare other guys to him and they don’t measure up. For example, I went out with a chiropractor who tried to give me a massage. He thinks he’s a doctor? He’s not a REAL doctor. He thinks he’s good with his hands? He’s NOT good with his hand like a heart surgeon is!! I set myself up for failure, I know– LOL!

]]> By: Eyeland http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-6/#comment-21505 Eyeland Mon, 14 Jun 2010 19:35:12 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21505 Okay so this is a sobering wake up call. I am in my late 20's and I have been dating a specialist in Internal Medicine. Him and I talk for hours when we are together and have amazing chemistry. He is gone Alot, i mean ALOT i get to see him maybe once a week and never hear from him. But our time is great when we do see each other. My question is this? Is this what i need to expect. Since we have been together for only 3 months i know that i have not gotten attached yet. Should I get out before life gets miserable? Thoughts? thanks Girls! Okay so this is a sobering wake up call. I am in my late 20’s and I have been dating a specialist in Internal Medicine. Him and I talk for hours when we are together and have amazing chemistry. He is gone Alot, i mean ALOT i get to see him maybe once a week and never hear from him. But our time is great when we do see each other. My question is this? Is this what i need to expect. Since we have been together for only 3 months i know that i have not gotten attached yet. Should I get out before life gets miserable? Thoughts?

thanks Girls!

]]> By: molly http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-6/#comment-21417 molly Sun, 06 Jun 2010 02:18:38 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21417 Hi Mia- Where am I in my Dr. relationship? Towards the end, most likely! He burns the candle at both ends, schedule-wise. I ask him what is he doing trying to pursue a personal life, if he doesn't have the time for it. He just shrugs. And then I feel sorry for him. I am very busy too, and I don't want a boyfriend who hovers over me. I love him and he's my first thought when I wake up in the morning. I have enjoyed the time we do get together, though lately that has been less so. Hi Mia-
Where am I in my Dr. relationship? Towards the end, most likely! He burns the candle at both ends, schedule-wise. I ask him what is he doing trying to pursue a personal life, if he doesn’t have the time for it. He just shrugs. And then I feel sorry for him. I am very busy too, and I don’t want a boyfriend who hovers over me. I love him and he’s my first thought when I wake up in the morning. I have enjoyed the time we do get together, though lately that has been less so.

]]> By: Mia http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-6/#comment-21411 Mia Sat, 05 Jun 2010 13:02:46 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21411 I’ve read back through your posts. Im sorry to hear that your relationship isn’t as peachy, their time commitments and the stressfulness of their job can be a huge con in dating a doctor. Admittedly I’ve been through the same motions especially when they get off 5 nights of night cover. It go’s always in the same sequence: He feels tried and crappy, then takes something out on me and says he wants to be alone, then he feels bad because he can see he’s being unreasonable and then he turns around and is nice again. A big thing with mine is knowing when he needs space and when he needs support. I am also all for him having boy’s nights and going out, because I trust him and he needs that time to be happy. Finding a balance is hard in any relationship, but especially with drs. They are highly intelligent and complicated beings, but getting the right mix in a relationship is what makes it work. In any relationship to be successful the major factors with successfulness are: having similar interest and hobbies you can both share, values, family, religion, matching future outlook, commitment, trust and a dedication to one another. Molly- where is your relationship at currently? I’ve read back through your posts. Im sorry to hear that your relationship isn’t as peachy, their time commitments and the stressfulness of their job can be a huge con in dating a doctor. Admittedly I’ve been through the same motions especially when they get off 5 nights of night cover. It go’s always in the same sequence: He feels tried and crappy, then takes something out on me and says he wants to be alone, then he feels bad because he can see he’s being unreasonable and then he turns around and is nice again. A big thing with mine is knowing when he needs space and when he needs support. I am also all for him having boy’s nights and going out, because I trust him and he needs that time to be happy. Finding a balance is hard in any relationship, but especially with drs. They are highly intelligent and complicated beings, but getting the right mix in a relationship is what makes it work. In any relationship to be successful the major factors with successfulness are: having similar interest and hobbies you can both share, values, family, religion, matching future outlook, commitment, trust and a dedication to one another. Molly- where is your relationship at currently?

]]> By: molly http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-6/#comment-21409 molly Sat, 05 Jun 2010 11:52:01 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21409 Hi Mia- Wow, anaesthetics! He's making career choices that let him have a family life! I'm so jealous! Heart surgeons can't do that, though they might try really hard to do that :-( As far as you both having alot of studying ahead, that might bring you together, gotta be really careful and attentive to each other's needs during that time. Lots of stress= more problems show up. Stay "friendly and flexible" as my family says. You'll have some bad days, just keep reminding yourself of your end goal and your dedication to each other, and you'll make it. Not an easy road, but not impossible either. Find little ways to stay connected each day, etc. You sound like a positive, optomistic type who might just be able to pull it off. Hi Mia-
Wow, anaesthetics! He’s making career choices that let him have a family life! I’m so jealous! Heart surgeons can’t do that, though they might try really hard to do that :-(
As far as you both having alot of studying ahead, that might bring you together, gotta be really careful and attentive to each other’s needs during that time. Lots of stress= more problems show up. Stay “friendly and flexible” as my family says. You’ll have some bad days, just keep reminding yourself of your end goal and your dedication to each other, and you’ll make it. Not an easy road, but not impossible either. Find little ways to stay connected each day, etc. You sound like a positive, optomistic type who might just be able to pull it off.

]]> By: Mia http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-6/#comment-21403 Mia Sat, 05 Jun 2010 01:18:06 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21403 He’s in an anaesthetics training program. The sweet thing is he was set and had offers in both orthopaedics and anaesthetics - he had a great deal of trouble deciding. But chose anaesthetics because he’s time commitment would be less demanding, no being on call and he could have a life. He was even considerate enough to say that he's going to have a family one day and wants to be there for them. But the thing is he has got those mammoth exams looming nearby, as he starts next year. I am studying as well and still have 3 years to go- my course is pretty intense too. Do you think the fact that were studying both pretty intensely would bring us together or apart? And after only 9 months is it too early to pre-empt the future so seriously? Our trips have been holidays just the two of us getting away and spending good time quality time together. Because I am young still I feel like I may be a bit naive, marriage would happen for a few years, but I can’t imagine a life without him now and want a future with him. We’ve even had the conversation about where we would get married, baby names and just future talk like that in general. He’s in an anaesthetics training program. The sweet thing is he was set and had offers in both orthopaedics and anaesthetics – he had a great deal of trouble deciding. But chose anaesthetics because he’s time commitment would be less demanding, no being on call and he could have a life. He was even considerate enough to say that he’s going to have a family one day and wants to be there for them. But the thing is he has got those mammoth exams looming nearby, as he starts next year. I am studying as well and still have 3 years to go- my course is pretty intense too. Do you think the fact that were studying both pretty intensely would bring us together or apart? And after only 9 months is it too early to pre-empt the future so seriously? Our trips have been holidays just the two of us getting away and spending good time quality time together. Because I am young still I feel like I may be a bit naive, marriage would happen for a few years, but I can’t imagine a life without him now and want a future with him. We’ve even had the conversation about where we would get married, baby names and just future talk like that in general.

]]> By: molly http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-5/#comment-21402 molly Fri, 04 Jun 2010 18:56:25 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21402 Mia- I am so happy for you! Sounds like you've got a great thing going :-) So if he's a doctor, then what type? Why is he traveling so much? Your age difference shouldn't be a big deal-- not more than 8 years, and the guy is older(I find men tend to mature later than women anyway). I got married for the first time when I was 21. We'd been together 4 years. But 5 years later, my husband got his PhD and then decided to trade up for a rich older woman (!!). So as long as he is settled in his profession-- no more major school or training to go through- then you might be ok. It's when there are major changes and stresses that a marriage becomes more vulnerable. I wish you lots of happiness! Good luck! Mia-
I am so happy for you! Sounds like you’ve got a great thing going :-)
So if he’s a doctor, then what type? Why is he traveling so much?
Your age difference shouldn’t be a big deal– not more than 8 years, and the guy is older(I find men tend to mature later than women anyway). I got married for the first time when I was 21. We’d been together 4 years. But 5 years later, my husband got his PhD and then decided to trade up for a rich older woman (!!).
So as long as he is settled in his profession– no more major school or training to go through- then you might be ok. It’s when there are major changes and stresses that a marriage becomes more vulnerable. I wish you lots of happiness! Good luck!

]]> By: Mia http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/comment-page-5/#comment-21400 Mia Fri, 04 Jun 2010 15:47:06 +0000 http://www.datingtales.net/2007/10/dating-a-doctor-pros-and-cons/#comment-21400 I was glad to see this forum was still running into 2010. My story begins at my birthday party which was held at a club where we happened to meet and instantly had a connection. That was nine months ago. We have been on an inter-state trip and are now planning an overseas one-. Everything seems to fit perfectly we have the same values, religion, types of families and are very much like one another. He always finds time for me, is very honest and talks of me in his future all the time. The way I feel about him is so strong, deep and true. He has made me the happiest I’ve ever been and I feel so lucky to have found him. Personally I have found that a lot of my friends became jealous and did some really mean things to me for no reason. I guess that’s a con of dating a dr. But my question is I am 21 and he is 28. I want to marry him and have kids- the whole lot. But how do I know he is the one for sure? Am I too young to be thinking this way? I was glad to see this forum was still running into 2010.
My story begins at my birthday party which was held at a club where we happened to meet and instantly had a connection. That was nine months ago. We have been on an inter-state trip and are now planning an overseas one-. Everything seems to fit perfectly we have the same values, religion, types of families and are very much like one another. He always finds time for me, is very honest and talks of me in his future all the time. The way I feel about him is so strong, deep and true. He has made me the happiest I’ve ever been and I feel so lucky to have found him. Personally I have found that a lot of my friends became jealous and did some really mean things to me for no reason. I guess that’s a con of dating a dr.
But my question is I am 21 and he is 28. I want to marry him and have kids- the whole lot. But how do I know he is the one for sure? Am I too young to be thinking this way?

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