Dating a Doctor: Pros and Cons

Shysty

Hey guys,

I am in serious need of advice, I am dating a doctor, and YES he is CUTE and adorable, to be honest he is everything i have ever wanted in a man. UNfortunately i love attention a bit too much. He is always busy, revising, our conversations are always rushed, he’s always on call or preparing for a presentation. I am very patient but lately i have been having major tantrums, the thought of turning up to weddings and engagement parties on my own is daunting, it makes me sad coz i love him and miss him so much. NOW does this mean he doesnt care ie he can turn down a call in to spend time with me or am i being totally unreasonable? Just how busy are doctors? When we do meet up all he talks about is revsing, presenations, exams i have to go got a presentation to do etc, i hate meeting up with my friends who have boyfriends coz my one is nver there HELP

grapevine`

hey Shysty are we seeing the same doctor hottie does his first name BEGIN WITH AN S ? what you had o say about him is so familiar it is not even funny and i feel like i cant take any more of those presentations meetings and exams he is cute as button tho is he 27-28ish please reply so we can help each other out atleast we will know the truth

grape vine.

hey confidence thank you so much for that advise as time goes by I have learned to have faith in our relationship yea I have thrown tantrums in the beginning and once I got a clear understanding of this whole thing I feel stupid and now I love him to death and trust him no matter what I don’t get to see him bse we don’t live together but he wants us to move in together that way we can see each other . it is a thin line between love and doing the right thing for God and not shack up so I will get rid of my roomie so he can feel free to sleep over or me vist him at his house but he had just moved to Georgia so he was staying with family . this made seeing each other worse . but I have gotten the geest of it finally thanks guys especially confidence and good luck.

shysty

Hey Guys,

Fanks for all your comments, I know these docs are soooo the same its unbelievable. I HAD ATANTRUM LAST WEEK because he missed my birthday coz he was on call, all my friends where there and so looking forward to seeing him, so when he didnt turn (of course he told me before hand) it was just chaos, i had a good time regardless, but i am finding this hard, is this how its going to be forever exams, presentations, calls, research etc. No grapevine his name begins with A and we are in England??? Its amazing how they are sooo the same. After the tantrum i had at the weekend we brokeup for a few hours (i know) so he did the whole begging thing and i took him back and i am AT MY BEST BEHAVIOUR ie playing the supportive, understanding good girlfriend. Confindence, i totally understand this whole dating a doc is far from glamarous ,its stressful. But, i guess we have to support our men as much as POSSIBLE and HOPE FOR the very best. Good luck guys and keep intouch, i value all ur comments its fun, it keeps us going whn our men are at work lol

grapevine`

lol Girl lol we just may need to talk we seem to have a lot in common i dint know how many times i have quit in my heart and never said anything to him lol there is a green light in the tunnel but some times frankly speaking i just want to quit we haven’t known each other that long …but i feel kinda bad he adores me he says he loves me and wants to spend the rest of his life with me and all that great stuff but some thing within me is saying just be cautious lol …..I will have to pray for extra extra patience ….you guys on here keep me going by the way i just love to get messages from this website . you should see the smile on my face hahaha

shysty

Gravine my Doc is 27-28 too, OMG this is freaky WOW LMAOOOOOO, Wot a coincidence

Jenny

Hi guys, well, I just want to share that I am also dating a doctor…we’re dating for about a month and a half now..he’s an internal doc..and yes..i can relate to all of you…i get super frustrated coz we only get to spend time for an hour or two the most..they always page him or call him..so we have to rush..sometimes I’m not even done eating and we have to run..geeezz..i gave up on him twice coz i can’t handle it..i want his attention all the time..but he’s the one keep calling me so i took him back..lol..this time, i don’t call him, i wait for him to call me…lol..I’m going to school also for nursing so it makes it hard for both of us..but i hope things will work out

Mandy

Yes, I’m on the same boat, and it’s comforting to hear that other women dating doctors are also having the same experience I’m dating a doctor who’s also doing medical research ‘in his own time’ to advance his career. The classic over-achiever. Mind you, ‘in his own time’ means ‘our time’ where he stays a few hours after long shifts at work and also on days off.

He’s handsome, intelligent, witty, kind and loving (my friends jokingly call him ‘McDreamy’), but he works so damn much and is almost always stressed-out. The worse thing is, he would compromise on everything else but his work, and this includes spending time on me. He sucks at answering sms or e-mails because he’d designate his time on the order of importance and my cute little notes are not as imperative as the papers he’s currently writing. He’s also very quick and can be quite rigid which stresses me out sometimes. All in all, a lovely man but I wish sometimes that he would dedicate more time and attention to me. It’s great having such an intellectually stimulating partner but a little phone call to tell me he loves me wouldn’t hurt either…

shysty

Heeeey guys HAPPY 2009. Bn quiet sooo much has bn happening down my end. Basically, Me and Doc broke up, it had to be done to PRESERVE MY SANITY and WEIGHT, i was stressed and at the brink of loosing my mind, due to excessive over-analysing. For me wot did it was the fact that he flopped me twice (on my friend’s engagement party and on my birthday)!!! YES TWICE, first time he was “doing research” and this was on a saturday, second time round his “aunty had a fall” and seeing as he is THE ONLY DOCTOR IN THE WHOLE HE HAD TO ATTEND TO HER. I am sorry but i didnt buy any of that, he was very late for my friend’s engagemnt party, it started at abut 7pm and he didnt call me until 10, the party was almost done then, well, so i gave him the “marching orders” and then he dropped the whole lets try again lyric i was NOT convinced anything would change but i did take him back, AND FOR SURE NOTHING DID CHANGE!!, then on my birthday dinner, he called at about 5:3o, whn we were meant to be at d restaurant for 6 to say his aunty had a fal (BS), at this point i was already WEARY didnt question him or protest. Then i was “incommunicado” for 2 weeks and he asked wot was wrng then WAVED THE RED FLAG. I wouldnt do it anymore.

On a better note , met this really lovely IT Project manager, cute, humble and just adorable. He cant stop calling me(he’s on holiday) and i am picking him up from the airport IN HIS CAR (talk about trust), met his cousins and friends who have “heard so much bout me already”. SO GUYS WATCH THIS SPACE!!!! I wish y’all GOOD LUCK, not all DOCTORS ARE HARD WORK SOME ARE REALLY NICE AND THEY DO GET MARRIED, for me IT project manager here i come xoxox

Jb09

Hi again so i saw him last night. Again he barely wants to talk about anythinhg. I told him that and he said here you go agian. About and hour later he apologizes and nothing changes. Im wondering is he just not social? Do psych doctors usualy have problems? I want this to work because im so attached which is new for me. Could he be cheating or is he just not that into me? How hard is the state test? He says he is studying all day should i believe him? Or is there someone else? so many questions.

Jb09

I have decided that its really not woth it at all. THanks

lila

Well ladies, as someone that has been in a dating merry-go-round, I also wonder the same thing, “is he really telling me the truth, is he really that busy”?? Unfortunately by reading all the postings, non of us really will know, but one thing we all agree is that these men are wonderful when they are there!!! LOL… I have never been turned on by any man in my life, and I think it’s because he’s so hard to keep, almost like a slippery fish. But he’s brilliant, funny, articulate, and sexy beyond words although he’s in his late, late 50’s. All he ever tells me when I get upset is, “you need to be very patent with me” he’s worth it so I guess I need to understand that his ego, and career are first!

Jb09

I Hated being in the dark about my relationship. I know docs are kinda high on the dating pole but its really hard work. I think i’ll just wait he will come back around I just hope Im not too bitter when the time comes. All though i think i might be pregnant but lets just pray thats not the case at all. He doesn’t have time for anything right now. I dont want to corner anyone in a bad situation.

Jb09 dont

We are not on the best of terms i havent heard from him in couple of days. He hasn’t called and that makes me think he found something better to do. I wish i could figure out whats up with him. I have never been so puzzled about a man. We were tracking my ovulation cycle because im allergic to latex which is not an excuse. I dont want him to think im trying to trap him. But he should know what happens when you dont use condoms. I just wish i never knew him.

Jb09 dont

Not to sure i talked to him today. But i didn’t mention the prego. I’m use to being chased not chasing it sucks. I’m so tired of the no call no show and the attitude that comes when you ask where the hell have you been. OMG who would have thought it would be this hard. And he has a two seater i guess we will just tie the baby to the roof. I dont think he is in the mode right now to be a dad. I JUST KEEP THINKING HE HAS TO BE CHEATING . IF HE IS HE BETTER HOPE I DONT CATCH HIM LIKE SHYSTY SAID ITS A THIN LINE BETWEEN LOVE AND HATE.

Jb09 dont

I just kinda in limbo i don’t really know what to think bout him. They always say dont let your emotions over power your intelligence. My bull!@#$ alarm keeps gonig off. I don’t know if i’m just being crazy or I really should just go my own way. But I do know that I have enough stress at the hospital and i don’t need him to add more to my load.

Lila

Poor JB09 your really in a pickle with the “baby carriage” but listen breath and realize that he also knew the risks of unprotected sex or we would assume he did read that chapter being a doc and all….LOL

My Doc, the first time we where together asked me POINT BLANK! “Any possibilities of babies”??? My tubs are tied and I’m in my 40’s so LIKE HELL, my daughter is in her 20’s, but he was still concerned… Our respective doc’s are obviously amazing men but I agree with all of you that chasing at this stage is ridiculous and that is what we are left with. I suggest just sending them reminders that you care, I send my doc daily e-mails with little hearts and jokes, or just I miss you! which he seems to love. My doc is no longer on rotation he’s been in practice for 30 yrs but being a surgeon he’s always busy. I usually know what time he logs on his computer so I make sure I always have a little diddle for his amassment he has PLEANTY of stress he sure could use some understanding vs. stress from his lady… Ladies as someone older “I think” and with more experience, if you TRULY LOVE THESE MEN be patient! I have never felt this way for anyone in my life and I will wait until hell friezes over, I have not seen my doc for weeks but I know he’s thinking of me and he would be with me more if he could….GOOD LUCK JB09…..Lila

Lila

Dear Jb09, your so young and at your age life is all fast and furious, but pause, breath, and relax you may be an expectant Mother and your going about it the wrong way. Your doc is at a perfect age to settle down and chances are he will try to do right by you, but you also need to understand that this will be a shock to him and your cool head will make a HUGE DIFFERENCE in his reaction. Don’t pressure him let him marinate, show him your mature although young. Let him see you as a person that will understand his demands so that he can be the man for you, honey for as much as I wish I could say otherwise, it will be you reactions that will make it or break it. Trust me, there will be plenty of ladies that will KILL for a doctor so play your card right and make this the beginning of your family and his…..Best of luck…Lila

shysty

wow!!! That is so true. Lila good luck, i kno how u feel, Jb09 its going to be fine trust me. Whn i started dating my doc, i stressed too much i put alot of pressure on him and he didnt like that, i must say now we have started talking its good becoz i dont have any expectations, he calls me nearly very day, if anything he is my best friend now, we spk about evry thing we have nice challeging debates, as a lawyer 2 b i always throw all these questions his way and i can tell he enjoys these debates over “where are u, why didnt u call, u dont care, u dont have time, im leaving u, i cant take this anymore” etc. Met him on friday for lunch and i had a great time, he was relaxed, not looking at his watch or panicking abut a presentation or exam or research, we then went and sat in the park, it was a lovely day, then he came with me whn i went to have my dress fitted, it felt so gud just having him there, I FINK IM IN LOVE and I fink he is too, i can tell from the way he was around me. And also he was asking about MARRIAGE ie whn i wanna get married, wot i want, wot my mum thinks, he also asked bout my previous relationships and also if i dated anyone during our break etc BTW he has never asked me these questions b4, so i used this opportunity to ask him whn he wants to get married, he said as soon as he sorts out a few things hopefully soon he said , im not reading tooo much into this whole thing i will wait and see how it all goes tho. HE HASNT OFFICIALLY SAID WE ARE BACK, SHUD I KEEP DATING OTHER MEN OR DO I BECOME EXLCUSIVE WIT HIM???? Help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

shysty

Awww, fanks Sara, that is really true. But i find it so hard to do tho. My Doc is a bit nosy (he ramages thru my fone, my facebook ie the wall, who is who, all my photos etc) I have nothing to hide tho. Shud i tell him that i intend to date or tell him as of whn he asks, dont wanna seem like a ho, esp after the Mr IT Project manager experience, ohh this is really hard:), to be honest there are 2 HOT guys who want take me out, the reason i havent gone out is becoz they are TEMPTATION and DISTRUCTINS to me and also my Doc. Fanks Sara again oh gosh this is really hard….Coz technically we are friends although we did kiss whn we met, and he has told me that he cares about me a lot although i dont beleive him its the truth, im confused!!! Maybe he likes / cares about me as a friend???

shysty

Jb09, goodluck wit that babe. At least u had a gud time on friday/ saturday, i fink im in luv now and it begining to mess wit my head, I fink i need to re-focus my attention on another guy i like just so im not in his face, i cant stop daydreaming of him its pathetic R u ready for a baby tho?

shysty

I know wot u mean JB09, it sucks!!! I wouldnt sleep wit more than one guy at any one time, but thats whn TEMPTATION comes in, esp whn u r vulnerable. I messed up last christmas whn i walked out on Doc and cut him out of my life that wow, i cud have lost him for that dude. But this weekend a gud friend of mine u introduced me to that dude -Mr It Project Manager is having her birthday and she has invited me and i kno he is going to be there, dont wanna go to be honest but at the same time i feel like going??? Shud i? instead of me being in the house and dreaming bout my doc? The chances are that he is working this weekend anyway . I think I need to carry out a survey on Doctor’s wives to find out if they are HAPPY and FAITHFUL to their virtually non-existent husbands Maybe y’all can help me.

Jb09

I think you should go. It will take ur mind off the doc. I go on dates all the time don’t put all your eggs in one basket. I like my doc alot but I don’t totally believe in him. Go have fun flirt a little. Don’t leave room for regret. I still haven’t heard from my doc yet my faith in him is fading fast. I use to be upset about it but now i just think its his loss. And he completed 8+ years of school and still is SIMPLE as hell. lol

Jb09

Best of luck shysty i hope it all works out. I have given up on my doc haven’t heard from him since saturday morning. So he must not want to talk which is fine. Why can’t we see into the future about men. But the truth is I knew what was ahead of me. Sometimes you lie to yourself and see the opposite. I guess thats why i don’t feel so bad after all. I just have to check on the prego thing my test have been not so accurate. God please spear my soul lol. I have this feeling that everything will work out. Besides I have strong faith in karma. He must have been my karma i always kinda knew that. Shysty just dont let your emotions over power your intellegence. I wish you the best of luck!

Jb09

I wish i had more patients. But when your just waitng time drags. And while its dragging i’m wondering whats he really doing. Your thinking too much too fast. I just want my Fairytale!

Jb09

Lila your so right when i get to my limit he finally notices my feelings. He knows they are there but wont say mcuh till it gets bad. Strange but what really makes me mad is that he is so smart. How can you play so stupid? This week i got very upset with him. Then he calls and we talk i get a goodnight text. And next day back at square one. Has anyone been played by a doc? IS he honestly that busy.

Lila

Wow, ladies what support, thank you! But you know that TRUST needs to be the key element to any relationship and with doc’s I think that the trust gets put to the test because there are so many players out there that as women we get put out guard so high that we simply cannot imagine that anyone can be saying the truth and putting the women they “hopefully” love over work but with doc’s this is the case, do not doubt this…. Yes, we think of the lady nurses, lady doc’s the lady PT’s etc, but the reality is that these men have other peoples lives in the hands every day, they deal with death, sickness, long hours, rotations, and in your cases the completion of their YEARS OF STUDIES, ladies give your guys some credit maybe hats all they really want, recognition for their sacrifices and trust me they have scarifised PLEANTY!.
Grant it they can be jerks, they are still men for God sake, you can’t change the nature of the beast, but when it comes to work, YES THEY ARE BUSY, take your time and breath, this is the way it will always be so get used to it if you love them….Thank once again for the huge support! Lila!

Lila

OH, P.S. This is for Jb09, NEVER act stupid or un educated in any way, you may not understand some things, but professional men and women NEVER WANT SOMEONE STUPID as their partner, ever!! He may be smart, but you need to also show your brains, men like an intelligent and articulate lady that will represent them with class and sophistication….Play the roll you are choosing to have!! I’m a professional and I would never want an egg head for a boyfreind, NEVER! Lila

Jb09 dont

To tell you the truth Lila I act more intellegent then he does. He shoots a breeze most of the time.

Jb09

I’m pregnant i have decided to get an abortion I think. I’m not too sure yet. He is so busy and I am too. I really just dont want anything to do with him. He has and odd way of looking at everything. He is not like most men. I don’t know if thats because he is and psych doc or he might just be a real wierdo. But whatever the case its really really odd. HE wants to build a future he says but i would rather start off just me and him. Children complicate things. And he doesn’t seem to pressed to turn in his little tiny car. Shysty!lol. But i’m just catching a vibe. He took my head off past friday. He gets upset very fast which doesn’t work for me. I don’t get pissy when someone say something that I dont like. SO all together in a nutt shell I think I got a psycho.

Jb09

LIla not a bad suggestion. But ladies can we all agree we are like drawn to these butt heads. I get mad and curse him out then he apologizes and boom I’m happy. I’m tired of this big circle. All i want is peace and happines. But when will i get that with him probably never. I slowly letting go of that dream and he starting to see that. But its just too little too late.

Lila

Ladies, or I’m the one that needs mental help or him!!! I was married for 18 yrs divorced for 8 my husband was an engineer and yes, as the years went by, we both knew our marriage was coming to an end because people just grow apart, FOREVER IS A LONG ASS TIME! But, from then to now, I have dated, blue cooler, white cooler, no cooler, and they are all pretty much the same, but this DOCTOR is like no other man I have ever been involved with, it’s like dating Sybil with menopause (hot and Cold). I love him, he knows it, he loves me too, but where do we go with just I LOVE YOU??? He has more money than God, you would think that at this stage he would want to enjoy some of it?? I would, and I’m sure all of you could too.. Ok I could shop, but I do that now and I’m free to come and go. He wants me, he loves me (he won’t say the word I LOVE YOU, he will say, I care for you more than I have ever cared for any women in my life, even the mother of my children “what the hell is that, maybe he really did not love her that much”) Ok, I can live with him having a hard time expressing his feelings, but not with the crazy life-style. I want to drive through the pacific west coast with him, I want to spend a weekend at a B & B and just be togeather, I want HIM, and he can’t understand why I can’t understand his responsibility to his PT’s… FOR GOD SAKE HE DEALS WITH VAIN WOMEN THAT WANT TO GET STRECHED, where is the humanitarian effort, it’s not like he belongs to Doc.’s without boarders, he deals with rich, vain, men and woman THERE IS NO SAVING LIFE’S IN THIS SPECIALTY!!! This is perplexing… Ladies you really help but at 46, I’m confused and pissed at myself because he knows how to press my buttons…..THANK YOU! Lila!

shysty

Lila, i feel ur pain, but just be patient, i know ur pissed off and u have every right to be but just take the chill pill. Its going to be ok. Try and surprise ur doc over the weekend go to his house or something and cook him a nice meal

JB09 tALK TO UR DOC sit him down HE WILL ACCEPT responsibility, he has to and yes you guys will be fine just dont worry u dont need that now ok

Well, i was rolling up my sleeves yesturday ready to fight my doc coz one of his work mates sent him a really raunchy text (app she is based in Sweden now) but my point is why??? I asked him and he explained himself as i DEMANDED an explanation and so he deleted it off his wall DOC heys WHY do we love them so much??????

shysty

Jb09 ohhhh u poor thing, wots happened now?? Talk to us honey….

I love my doc so much im dying to say sumthing, i feel like i have bn holding water in my mouth for an hour and need to either swallow or spit it……HELP!!!! He is amazing i must say he is the ONLY guy i have had the sort of FRIENDSHIP with, we are really good friends and we r lovers too, which is a fantastic combination, i guess i just want a label on this thing we have. Although i dont see him everyday we spk almost evryday, he is a classic example of an EMOTIONALLY AVAILABLE guy who is physically not available (it feels like a long distance relationship sometimes) just to think we live 25min apart uurrrggghhh, all my relationaships have been physically available men, but emotionally UNAVAILABLE. MY DOC IS MARRIED TO HIS CAREER , i apprecaite his effort coz he makes the effort now, BUT I JUST NEED TO KNOW WERE I STAND- WOT TO DO, WOT TO DO????

*****News Flash I have a date with one of the hotties on Monday, he has refused to give up**** Shud i go???? I feel really bad, shud i tell my doc??? As an incentive to get him to say sumting HELP pls

Lila r u ok???? Hope u r ok

lila

shysty, I am so happy for you that you have found a balance between lover, partner and friend. I feel your pain with the “water in the mouth” comment, I love mine too, but could this feeling be that they are physically unattainable? Even emotionally unavailable? Could this be a fascination and/or challenge?? (Listen if you want this man, start by putting all your energy into him, your desire, and wishes, by dating someone else all you do is scatter your energy and run the risk of jeopardizing what you really, want)!!! My opinion you asked……LOL

I have been analyzing things lately because to fall into a toxic relationship at our (him and I) age is almost ridiculous, do I really at this stage of my life be willing to work this hard on a relationship as being with a doc.? And if I finally get my wish and have him will I be happy? Or as the saying goes “be careful what you wish for or it may come true”??? This is very scary!!! These man are married to their career 150% ALL OF THEM, and there are consensus that “we” would have to make, but honestly I want to grow with someone or grow by myself, but not struggle in a relationship again, at my age there are no future kids, (we have them) no first house, it’s a plush condo for 2, and I want the partner that fits into that pic., or it’s would have to be just me, either way it’s ok, but not settle for the shadow of a man, and, I don’t want to make consensus in my life anymore, so honestly I don’t know if I can do this, I guess time will tell… But you ladies truly help! Thanks…..Lila

shysty

Thanks for that Lila. I kno wot u r saying….I went on the date it was good,BTW i dated this guy 2/3yrs ago, we went on a couple of dates and that was it, he still had my number ALL these years woooooow. I have bn so busy with University and all that but he has refused to give up. He made a mug comment yesturday he said HE ALWAYS GETS WOT HE WANTS????? We kissed anyway. He is HOTTT, but I want a serious relationship now, if not i might as well be wit my ILLUSIVE DOC and call it “life” lol. Well i told that in a bid to scare him off, as he brought up the “what r we doing” conversation, he wants us to start seeing each other and see how things go. Well im in a serious dilemma to be honest as I love my doc but i cant WAIT INDEFINITELY at the same time. I spoke to my mum about my Doc she says to wait and not bring up the TALK let him do it. BUT LADIES my ETHOS IS “WHAT WILL BE WILL BE”. I cant be hanging off a string anylonger, if im waiting i need to know whta im waiting for.

I did something really silly, I sent him a text after the hottie dropped me home which was like early hours, I told him wanted a CATER for my man night with him and he hasnt responded. IT NEVER TAKES HIM THIS LONG TO REPLY????? MAYBE I NEED TO GET THE MESSAGE. The hottie wants to kno whr he stands etc, i waffled for like 5 mins coz i wasnt expecting THE TALK already, i have exams soon so i might just not talk about it till then, but he wants to see me on saturday.

LADIES I NEED UR HELP, I DONT KNOW wot to do. I want to move on BUT I love my Doc and secondly I need to make sure whot im doing is PERMANENT i cant do the back and forth business anymore, need some kind of stability in my life.

JB09 really sorry to hr that, did u tell him ur preg?

I REALLY NEED HELP dont wanna loose out on a potential’ husband’ and at the same time i dont wanna lose my Doc, I THINK I HAVE INVESTED SOOOO MUCH EMOTIONALLY TO LET IT SLIP OUT OF MY HANDS JUST LIKE THAT

Jb09

So i would consider him far from single. And since he isn’t single then its cheating.

Jb09

Yea he took it like a real butt head. He didn’t push me to do anything but he is so stressed out. Twins it shocks me everytime i say it.lol I have lost my since of direction shysty. I’m about 2 months . I think he is no diffrent then any other man. Yor degree doesn’t give the right to do as you please. My doc is far from single. So he better not go “soil his wild oats”. Shysty I’m so stressed out!

Lila

Sara, you are so right with your advise!!! Jb09 – That sound like it’s no longer a healthy relationship at any level… You are expecting “2″ babies WOW!!!! they need an emotionally healthy mom. If this man is emotionally destructive, and physically destructive to you, that “COULD” I hope you know that actions like that could possibly risk his medical licence. You need to put him behind you, request your legal rights of support for your children and move on!!! But at 19 (you are 19 correct?) you cannot allow anyone to play with your self esteem and self worth, you have a lot of life ahead of you, and once more your children need a stable mom!!! Best of luck, I’m a spiritual person and I will pray for your peace of mind and health of your children! Ladies, my relationship with my doc., is like a game that we seem to be getting hooked on BUT we both respect and admire each other, it’s his medical BS that gets to me, ABSOLUTLY!! But, he is a warm, caring man that was MEANT to be a doctor at every level, and I for one understand having a passion for what one does, I have it so I understand, BUT! our relationship is based on mutual respect, consideration and trust, if you do not have one of these very important components, move on it’s NOT WORTH THE EFFORT!!!!! Thanks ladies…..Lila

Jb09

I’m not happy anymore things have gotten so far out of hand. I have lost my since of direction. And yes I am 19 years old.

shysty

OMG JB09 this is serious, i mean if a man will lay his hand on u, then its a NONONONo!!!!! As Lila rightly said ur an expecatnt mother so be careful. U dont need all this stress now. One thing i have learnt is that you can never force someone to be with you, neither can u make someone be with u-If ur Doc wants to be with u he will make it known, we dont know the full story im sure, but based on the facts, i think try and concentrate on being a mother, its not about u anymore, its about those lil angels u have in u. I feel sorry for you. Try not to be put pressure on him and let him think, im sure he needs time to think about it, i mean he’s man, so maybe he’s scared etc, please try and relax!!!!!!!! U r very vulnerable right now.
Lila I agree, a relationship is meant to be based on trust, RESPECT etc and if u guys fight like cat and dog then it couldnt be a healthy relationship.

JB09 if u need advise we are here to share the pain. I hope all works out, please RELAX ok. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

shysty

Tu Lady, ALL I CAN SAY IS I RELATE to u so much. Whn i met my doc it was in a bar and it was my friend’s birthday, i was getting LOTS of attention that day and i was lurrving it and doing my thang. He just appeared from no where, i was mersmersied when i saw him, he is STUNNING, nice physique and extremely humble, whn he told that he was a doc inside my mind i rolled my eyes and thot puurrleeez, i thot he’d say a model , i didnt believe him so i bombarded him with several questions and he answered them all that made him look more sexy. I had to google him up and there he was and now i have had the privilege of meeting at work for lunch. Sorry to digress. It drives me absoutely iNSANE the busyness and the lack of time, my doc is amazing, he so sentive to my needs and he just wonderful, i have frustrated myself to death before b’coz of the lack of time and the nights, im on call, im preparing for a presenation etc. However, i think my doc is WORTH ALL THAT coz i have found out for myself that there is no other man like him, phycically there are sooooo many cute guys with the bod and intelligence or intellectual ability but its getting all these qualities in ONE. I love my doc as a person, it wouldnt have mattered if he was a cleaner in the hospital or evn a porter i would have loved him regardless, he is FIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNE!

I guess wit doctors its really hard isnt it? Becoz i have had the “im busy line” run on me too many times by other men and thats why whn he says he’s busy i find it hard to digest sometimes, i have decided to leave him alone, and let him be the man, although i kno that left to him alone we would see each other next year. I have exams next month so does he so we are just focusing on that for now…

Have u bn to ur doc’s house? Reason i ask is thats one of the ways of verifying someone’s single STATUS…. He may be genuinely busy as with all doctors, but try and suggest meet ups as often just so u can see him Good luck
DOCTORS ARE HARD WORK!!!!

JB09 r u ok???

Lila How are you?

Lila

TuLady, Oh I forgot one more thing, my Doc only e-mails me a couple of times per week and it’s only 3 or 4 words…Go figure, when he wants to see me, he’ll call—- Him-”What are you doing”? Me”Working, why”. Him-”I want to see you”? … This is after days and days of nothing, so if I would have wanted clingy…Wrong man! But he is busy and I LOVE HIM! or at least I LOVE HIM NOW!!!! LOL

shysty

JB09 glad u wrote was getting worried about u, I really hope u r ok Try not to stress ok, its going to be fine. Tk cr

TuLady

Thanks Ladies- you understand what my female friends don’t. When we get together for girls night to shred men into pieces all they tell me is to move on girl. He’s a player, he’s playing you real good, I just smile and agree and make it a point that he is a man. Being with a doctor is not that different than being with anyother- there’s always a story……. but reconsidering that he is a doctor maybe he doesn’t have time for storytelling….. of course non of them are or have been dating a doctor that they like.. lol…most of my girls are married or in a “stable” relationship…and I do feel the pressure to settle down..What makes me different is that I have been in a “stable” relationship and i have also had to let it go. Lilla you are so right people do change and grow apart especially if you were very young when you got in that messsss….. My friends can’t understand why he doesn’t find time to communicate with me and I feel the same way. Maybe these mmen have a social problem, since there job includes dealing with emotions and they are trained scientist they cannot have emotions, and if they do there is a scientifically proven reason why…… they are trained not to let that “why” affect them. Thanks to you girls I have not given up…I notice a trend in these doctors behaviors and I think you girls are dating MY DOCTOR>>>LOL… By the way is he to die for and have black hair???lol Ladies I am in it for the ling haul.. He is going to have to break up with mme beacause there is no way that beacause I want to be selfish with his time that I’m not going to take it. tthere is no perfect relationship although some of my girls think they are in the perfect relationship…I have been there and done that…and really I am happy and sad for them- happy because they are happy- sad because I know how it hurts. It hurts to accept people as they are..but I know that with men it is a one way road either you accept them and can live with them or you accept them and you can’t deal with them… so I can deal with this… he has been good at ingnoring me when I get impatient…and i will admit I got a little psyco but he understands me and my wants so I should understand his. Waiting is worth it with him because he is like my summer sun.. Hot..lol well maybe not that hot because its not just about that…..I appreciate the patience you ladies have given me to overcome this obsticle. It realy is all about patience, patience, patience…Its hard for me beacause my Doc is 30 …yum… and of course the ladies are going to love him and that is hard for me to deal with..competition…although I am a very secure person. I am afraid he will meet someone like me….but he can’t because there is only me in this world, lol and I am just going to have to deal with it and let things happen as they will…Thanks for the courage ladies…by the way I saw my Doctore today….finnally…

shysty

OMG, interesting ladies wooowwwww. I saw my Doc he stayed over and Imust say i appeciate him so much its nuts. He also makes soooooooooo much of an effort, he’d bn working flat out till sunday, but he still made time for me and I so appreciate that, he was depleted so i did the whole cater for ur man thing and it worked , my doc is amazing and I have fallen face flat on the floor in love wit him, he’s adorable, whn he’s around he helps with the dishes, cleaning etc and its just priceless, he makes me feel so CONTENT whn we r in d kitchen cooking and washin up and just talking.

TU LADY GO GAL- DONT GIVE UP, u have to fight for ur man, how many bfs can any one have, men are generally the same, and if u find a man that is worth it, I SAY FIIIIIIIGHHTroll up ur sleeves and FIGHT for ur man.

Im prepared to fight for my Doc, i have found out for myself that there is noone else like him, i have tried to move on 3 times….he’s amaaaaaaazing!!! so ADORABLE and just perfect for me….GALS I WILL DO ANYTHING for him and I know he would do the same…..I AM IN LOVE

Lila, I agree, these Doctors are insecure too, my doc tries to go thru my fone etc, i have nothing to hide at the end of the day, but he does trust me tho. I AM DYING TO TELL him I love him, oooohhhhhh he’s amaaaazing I AM NOT LETTING HIM GO-NO WAY JOSE

Lila

shysty, my doc is starting to use the phrase “LUV YA” not I love You, no LUV YA! so I guess he’s getting there, I also Love My Doc, but I love the man that NEVER HAS TIME!!!!! He tries buy I just e-mailed him telling him I missed him!!!! His responce was I miss you too, but nothing on when we will have time to be togeather although he is doing my mini-face lift this week so I guess he’ll be my real doc for a couple of weeks, and then my BF again…. STRANGE!!!!! LOL

Cindy S.

Wow, I guess I’m really lucky. I started dating a doctor a few months ago. At first, I was a bit hesitant about the age difference. He’s 37 and I’m 22. But it’s working out really well. Yes, his schedule does suck sometimes, but he’s very sweet, attentive and has never canceled a date. He really makes the effort to see me and he’s very humble. I’ll keep you updated on how it goes.

Lila

shysty- NO YOU WON’T DIE!!!!…..LOL If he tell u he loves you how can you go ruin the moment with dropping dead!!! What’s that??? Well, he was over last night and he said it again, “Lila, I luv ya babe so!!!” I ALMOST DROPPED!!!! He’s suggested that if I ever thought of renting out my house? I was confused, but I think he is starting to get ideas of a living arrangement, which I won;t do, it’s all or nothing, I won;t give up my house, my independence, my life, for something that if it doesn’t work I’m out back where I started….NOPE not for me…Well I did not say that in those words, but I implied it VERY CLEARLY!!! shysty- It’s not a birthday gift, it’s a valentine’s day gift, and my face lift is on Friday, I feel like clay he’s molding me and I’m letting him, THERE GOES ASSERTIVE LIBERATED WOMEN OUT THE WINDOW!!!!! To the new ladies! Welcome, we have lots of fun on this blog, and some supportive moments, but we are all in the same MEDICAL LOVE BOAT!!!!!… Regards, Lila!

TuLady

Lilla, Good luck withyour present. I hope all goes well for you- you will be in good hands… I think that maybe with all these new things happening to you right now you may not be ready to even think about anything else but you present and that is great. This will bring you two closer and maybe then you will see that you too need a companion, not just for the perks but also for the comfort. The doctor knows what his patient need- The doctor is what the doctor orders…lol…this will let you see his tender caring side and maybe you will appreciate and have more patience with him… Good luck

Lila

OMG LADIES WHAT SUPPORT!!!!!!! Thank you for all the good wishes, as a matter of fact I’m getting ready to leave my office and desided to look at the board! I’m flattered! And You shysty, honey you need to know where you stand, there is nothing wrong with asking that question, if you stay quiet then you are simply repressing and thats bad eventually making you angry, sooooooooo ASK HIM, “AM I YOUR GIRL”??? thats all you need to say, not long and winded just simple, and chose your timing, when you both are enjoying a sweet tender moment, not intimate but playful moment, and ASK!! Than let us know!!!! LOL Ladies thank you, best of luck I will possibly post on Tuesday so I’ll let you know how it went and how he is being as my doc although every surgery he has done on me he has been the best, best, best so I don’t expect less now….. Take care & very best…Lila

LOVE BUG

THANKS SHYSTY. IT IS STARTING TO HAPPEN. FEW TEXTS NO GOODNIGHT I KNOW THESE FEELINGS ALL TO WELL. MY DOCS STARTING TO SHOW HIS TRUE COLORS.

lila

Well, hi ladies, I can tell by the postings the doc. drama is still going strong!! I had my surgery and of course I am a patient and there are not perks, all very professional because “he needs to tend to me unattached” Lol, as he is trying to grab me!!!
I’m feeling ok, this is more traumatic than I expected but he sees me everyday and tells me I look great….. OMG if this is what he considers Great, I must normally look like a cantaloupe because this is not great, I look like I was inflated!!! He is being distant because this is his way of separating emotional from work and he needs to be objective… Ladies thank you I’ll keep you posted, I hate his cold attitude! No love ya, no honey are you ok, nothing, only “are you icing, how the swelling, all very black and white…WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE MEN< DID THEY LOSE SENSITIVITY IN MED SCHOOL????? I NEED TLC AND HE SAID “Lila, you are my PT you need to understand”!!! Oh well!!!!

love bug

I saw my doc last night. He was on call so of course his pager would go off every 5 minutes. He was SO tired but he tried his best to stay awake. I think I’m catching feelings but i don’t want to catch feelings for someone who isn’t available.

TuLady

Lilla, I am so happy that everything is going well for you. Yea!!! These men are completely unemotional…I think there heads would explode if they could have any emotions. lol…I think that is your Doc’s way of saying he cares about you… He wants to know you feel good and there are no complications because if you are swollen then he needs to rescue you…I saw my Doc again two weeks ago…this is really getting on my nerves the space and silence..shshshshsh…no emotions, no calls, text randomly durring the week to say what he will be busy with this week (of course not me)- its a waiting game until he is ready to see me then i get attencion and more!!!! MMMM…..He makes it worth waiting for but I won’t tell him that…He promised he was going to find TIME to spend with me so I’m waiting “patiently”- Good things comes to those who wait- and GOD knows I’m waiting… Good luck ladies….
I think you got bit this time LoveBug….lol

lila

Well hi ladies, thanks for the good wishes….I know my doc is being oh so professional, because he has told me before “When you aere in my care as your doc., you are my PT and my PT first” So I understand, but listen girls those sweet “nothings” he tells me is that I almost rip it out of his mouth if not he would assume I understood he cared. How many more thousand of years will it take for men to realize that we do not assume, we analize and make conclutions; because if they just gave a little more verbal information , i.e., yes, I like you and lets take the relationship forward, or no, I’m not really ready and just split, because we do not understand the simi-relationship thing with a person we could possibly love…. OUR LIVES WOULD BE SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!…

Ladies, we are all in the same boat suring the Perfect Doc. Storm!!!! LOL Take care Lila (Oh, I’m still swollen more than I should)

lila

TuLady- Wow this was a heck of a posting!! Your so right there will always be a level of disconnect from these men, maybe they need to be that way, you must be called to that career choice and being emotionally illusive is the over all personality trate, God Knows!! But I guess there are emotional sacrifices that must be done in order to survive this type of relationship, unfortunately, emotional sacrifices are the most difficult and ultimately resentful consensus that us women can make ( speak for myself and some friends ), and this scares me, I can’t do this to myself again, I won’t be with an emotionally unavailable man, and having to be happy with what he can give, no that’s wrong and lacks dignity!!! I will understand the work, PT’s, stress and all the rest, but emotional, verbal, and physical communication MUST exist inorder to make the rest tolerable, if not, what is there??? I think I have had too much time to think!!!! Oh, I’m going better and OMG he did an AMAZING job can’t wait for everything to heal….Lila

shysty

Well done Lila, im sure u looking beautiful,

Wooow Tulady thats amazing, I kno how u feel…Just hang in there.

I have bn dating my Doc for a year and 2 months its bn very hard, we have broken up and made up and I miss him to death right now, we both have exams in 2 weeks so lots of revision going on.
I love my Doc, but I think right now for I want this whole mystery, holding back/reserved BS to stop, comeon now its bn a year and a bit surely u shud kno me well enuff by now. I find that he is very mysterious??? sometimes, he opens up then CLOSES OFF like nothing happened and I am always left FILLING IN THE BLANKS and also lots of analysing and concluding…..He forgot to wish me luck last week I had to go to a fictional court and represent a client as part of my course…he swears he did- I wasnt IMPRESSED!!!but he’s making it up by being sweet and he is proof reading my thesis for me yaaay——WHY R DOCS SO IMPOSSIBLE????

I think we need to call this DOCTORS BEHAVING BADLY or something lol. My Doc has an emotional side BUT he never expresses himself UNLESS WE ARE HAVING A BLOW OUT….he doesnt talk much, i can talk for the whole of England and Wales(duhh)—-I love this man HELP.

I agree it does feel like games sometimes, i guess it is wot it is….

Good luck ladies—-IF ONLY WE CUD FIGURE THIS DOCTORS OUT—HIGHLY EDUCATED as they are, they perform complex surgeries, diagnose complex diseases and ALSO pronounce those tongue twisting disease names and medications (its like speaking in “tongues” lol) YET THEY CANT HANDLE OR PLEASE SIMPLE HUMAN BEINGS LIKE US lol

Lila

Dear Ladies, WOW all of you are just like me, in medical limbo! I e-mailed my doc asking him WHY he did not make more time, WHY he was so unattached, WHY he never expressed his feeling and all he said was ” I really understand But it is what it is Personal time very limited So take me as you can, I care a lot but nothing I can do”.

I can’t accept this so I need to walk away, if I do I will never fogive myself EVER! and I know that I will pay for my lack of BALLS and telling him to take his rules and put them where the sun don;t shine… How dare him say something so cold and insesitive!! Please ladies what would you do if you got something like this on e-mail???
Thanks to all Lila

Lila

love bug- I feel your pain, my doc is an EGG HEAD! He is selfish and egotistical, sometimes I wonder if he’s happier with himself than with anyone??? His e-mail was rude no doubt he was having a busy day and at that point it’s about him.

I have to go for my follow-up on Monday, I have made no attempts in contacting him, but I know that when I see him on Monday I turn into putty, my heart races, my hands get clammy, the whole nine yards.. He’s obtuse and arrogant, and I can’t live with someone like that, he must have known that e-mail hurt me, yet he has not even made an attempt to apologize, his thing is “If we where living together things would be easier” for whom??? I guess for him because with his hot & cold attitude, I can’t!
Thanks Love bug your input is very appreciated!
Lila

love bug

Did I scare him? He is at a confrence untill sunday. Exactlty how busy are docotrs at confrences? Is he just avoiding me?

lil ol me

I am in love with a doctor and I love him more than myself. But I only show that fact 90% of the time. hahaha I enjoy forming my life around his…I love being his helper in anything and doing anything to please him. His happiness is my happiness. When I see anything that has to do with him, it takes my breath away. He pushes me to be my best, and give my best. He is the love I waited for my whole life, all I was, am and ever wll be, seems to be custom made for him. I connect with some things you say. For every 15 text notes I send him he gives me I get 1 back. This is who he is -and who I am. He’s quiet and I’m not. He calls me his mirror…he finds himself in me. I find myself in him. He’s a young surgeon and the worst thing about him is that every girl wants him. and I’m extremely jealous.I heard that doctors sometimes have 3 or more girlfriends at once, using on call as a secure out. is this true ?

shysty

SARA, soory forgot to say thanks for that, will be in touch with my Doc’s behaving badly reports lol

LILA!!!! SOUNDS like u r venting, take it easy……Not in a bad way if ur Doc wanted S** he can get it from ANY woman, so its not that he just wante it, he probbaly isnt as good as u want him to be when it comes to expressing himself, if he wast serious, why wud he ask u to move in???

Lil ol me…..When r men, doctors, lawyers, academics theay are ALL men and they all CHEAT if u ask me, if ur doc wnats to chaet he will and u wud never kno. I have lots of close friends who r doctors and believe they are very busy and they have no reason to lie to me….My Doc is pi***g me off right now coz he has exams next week WELL SO DO I, but whenever he has exams he goes into his cave, and i have learnt to leave him there he will come out when he’s ready…..I miss like crazy tho…..May i emphasise DOCS R MEN AND MEN R HARD WORK, DOCS R HARD WORK THAT COMBINATION IS AN EXPLOSIVE…..Thats wht i LUV this blog, when i feel like exploding I can onto this blog and explode all i want dont do it to him anymore…….

Its realyy comforting to know that there lots of me’s out there

Lila, take it easy…..Glad u look amazing

love bug

SO he gives me this excuse. My phone was roaming. But see he has tmobile like me so i said tmobile doesn’t roam. So he says i didn’t have service. I’m really just so mad he didn’t have to buy anything just acknowledge the day jerk.

love bug

We have a date today. I somewhat feel stupid for even talking to him. I’m very big on the sentimental things. I’m trying so hard with him but he has one foot out the door. I wish i were able to put up with more. But I believe life’s to short to try to change a grown man.
If he wants me he will sacrifice too. Ladies remember this he is just a man. He has no excuse for treating you unkind. His job doesn’t give him a pass to be a jerk.

Lila

Lady’s I see it this way and please excuse me if I’m starting to sound angry and bitter, but this is my analogy of the whole thing with these men, or this man, I speak only for mine and myself. I have lost my vision, my sense of self, my clarity about what I would and would not tolerate inch by inch. That is how it goes. First I fell in love and then I honoured that love by compromising. Sometimes the compromises are small at the start. Sometimes they are not so small. “I’m treading water and keep treading water as I’m swept further out to sea and if I need to, then I’ll swim back to shore.” NO THATS NOT THE WAY!

Yes, I would love my own personal miracle or happy ending with my doc. I’m feisty, intelligent, loving, and a naively trusting women. There is room in everybody’s life for a lot of miracles. The miracle of a bad relationship turning into a good one is probably the least likely one to materialize. So I need to evaluate all I’m digesting, put it to good work and make a solid choice, I just feel that abuse comes in any forms, and emotional abuse is the very worst because if affects one’s self esteem, worth and value, ultimatly NO MAN has that right and has NO excuse in negative bahavior, i.e. work, study, night rotations, nothing can excuse emotional neglect…This is how I feel maybe to strong but with the strong negative emotions I am feeling I need to find strong resolutions…..Best to all Lila!

love bug

No date he backed out and hour after. God he $%#^@ my head up. I just want to scream!!!!!

lil ol me

im about decided that i dont want to see my doctor anymore. i think after i read the part where you never have anyone with you at gatherings or activities with friends cause they are married to their jobs first…and then the one where he backed out of a date an hour before meeting. what makes them worth it? when there are men out there who are more than happy to be a best friend and best lover. Why do I need one who is emotionally handicapped with a God complex who never has time for me.

love bug

Why does it feel so good to say I’m never going to see him again. Then I turn around and I’m sitting on his couch. Its like running on a treadmill. A part of me wants to let him go but apart of me love his accent,touch,and smell. I”M just foolish.

Lila

Well, ladies I guess I’m really finished with my doc., I accepted a date from a very nice Art Dealer that has been asking out for a while, and I really enjoyed myself we talked for 6 hours over dinner and I realized “this is what I want” a man with time to give to a relationship, and this was the time where I knew my doc and I where really over, I was talking and enjoying myself in the way I hoped I would have had with my doc, and never did so why should I compromise, I did in the past and it left me EMPTY!.

No matter how comfortable, smart, educated (not much manners just book educated) a man can be, there is no way that any person has the right to make you doubt you own worth. Because they think they are God like, there is only 1 God and he was not a doctor, this is no reason to disrespect a lady by not keeping a date (for whatever reason, a man needs to be considerate), not calling, not texting not e-mailing while we sit around obsessing and waiting WHY??????. It’s not like we live in the 60’s with just 1 phone line. So I refuse to make myself feel as if he is above me or I need to wait, F%#* wait. Let him find himself another Yutz that will put up with his obtuse mentality, but I won’t compromise. I have another date with my Art Dealer who is funny, talk’s, has time, very cultured, very articulate, and handsome, sooooooooo this was the proof I needed to let go, and I have..bye, bye Doctor!!!!!

Ladies be good, don’t put up with what you feel is wrong, and DEMAND respect, if he can’t, say bye, bye, becuase in the long run YOU ARE MORE IMPORTANT AND YOUR DIGNATY IS PRICELESS!!!! I will keep you posted on any other outcome’s because I need to see doc-man on Monday for follow-up, but I wish you all the best!!!! Lila

Lila

love bug, why are you still trying with this man? Your giving yourself very little merit, he may be nice but in the past he seemed to have been very cruel, I’m nobody to get involved, but find a nice young man that will love you!!!!

Well dating a doc. has it’s advantages, and SPACE is one of them, now I am dating an art dealer that is in my face all the time….OMG are we ever happy??? And my doc is calling (NOW HE HAS TIME!!!! Go figure) he knows I’m seeing someone and all he tells me is I can’t what is interesting is I never did it with the intention of making him jealous, I honestly was done, and the person I’m seeing is fantastic but we do not have the chemistry I have with my doc, and that is a fact, sooooooo I am confused…:(( It’s all very perfect with the doc on the phone, e-mail and at my apt. My doc showed up at my place and good thing I was home with only a book to keep me warm, when the door man announced him I was shocked because I had an oil treatment in my hair…LOL I was soooo not expecting him, but he came up I showered and we talked (ONLY) much to his dismay, I know he loves me, but his emotional ups and downs are too much for me. We are giving each other until our anniversary 7/14 and then if we still feel the same, we will take the next step, which I’m not sure what that step is, but he said it and I did not want to push it, lets see.. I’m tiered and confused we are going on 3 yrs of this and it’s very emotionally draining!! Best to all Lila!

shysty

LOL LMAO at ur comments…..Docs hey???? Are’nt they hard work???? My Doc is coooooooooooollllllll, he working nites and i have demanded phone calls on breaks or whn not busy so we spoke for hours yesturday till his pager went off….see all they need is a push or shu i say a kick at the backside then thet think straight……Still need to have the talk tho, so im waiting for him to get off nites then we will see…….LADIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG There’s ahunk who wants me so bad he is a David Beckham and justin Timerlake cross-breed absolutely gorgeous, BUT he’s married and he really wants to take me out I MUST SAY THIS IS THE BIGGEST TEMPTATION EVER!!!!! he lovley too….I LOVE MY DOC THO with ALL MY HEART its only whn he’s busy then my mind starts wondering off….We’ll see tho….Hope y’all ok

shysty

Aaaaaaaawwwwwwwww TULADY, that sucks, ANY man that says a woman is fat has to be STONED TO DEATH I mean it…That is RUDE and unacceptable. I know just how u feel. Things are bit slow between me and my Doc to be honest…..I dont know wot to say or make out of it anymore, I think we need to talk to put to an end all the unanswered questions that i have right now. The thing is there are so many guys willing to take me out and wanting to be with me, all i have to do is give in, which i am very close to doing right now, coz all i want is to be HAPPY bottom line—-i hate analysing, rehearsing speeches and all that?? I love my Doc and he is a lovely guy—-I just need to know whr i stand, so if i am waiting then i know just wot im in for if not then I will have to move on. Hope all you ladies are ok……

Val

Hi Ladies, I just spent an entire afternoon reading all these entries and stories you guys wrote, and it was so great to know that other people understand what I have felt for the last while.

None of my friends have dated a doctor, so it’s nice to hear some experiences of other women who know how stressful it can be. I think it’s true that people who are not doctors themselves have a hard time understanding how time consuming it is to be one, I still don’t.

When I first started dating him, he was my dream guy, sometimes, I still think he is. Just like the rest of you described: tall, super handsome, geniusly smart, ambitious and just all around perfect. Most people think it’s a dream come true to date a doctor, (social status-wise, it is) but as you have all expressed, it can be stressful, emotionally draining, and the expectations for understanding are very high.

Being a model citizen is a requirement to be a doctor. But this does not mean that he is perfect, only on paper. I thought he was so perfect, and that made me think I was less perfect. And that’s when I lost track of myself and did everything according to his likes, his dislikes, his schedule, and his plans. I lost respect for myself, and then so did he. I also lost a lot of friends and connection to people who cared about me because I wasted my time waiting for him to finally have time. I thought all my little personal sacrifices would be worth it in the end, but it just drove us apart and finally we ended it because we didn’t know who we were anymore. We needed to separate and find ourselves individually. I still wonder if we will meet again one day…

The ironic thing was, he originally liked me for who I was, not who I tried to be for him to like me.

From this experience, I learned that we as women, wether dating a doctor, baker, pilot or garbage man, we have to live for ourselves first.

I related to so many of the stories here it was unbelievable. I look at all of us here, and these men have influenced us to make a mess of our own lives because somehow, we have chosen to believe that they are better than us, or worth more than us. Doctor or not, it’s NOT true.

Someone once told me ” make sure you are happy first, when you are happy and you find someone, you can be happy together, but if they leave, you can still be happy on your own.”|

shysty

Hello Ladies,

Lila nice to kno u and ur Doc r getting on ok. Well me and my Doc are i think not togther anymore, its complicated—issues with family and the whole cultural diferences and denominational differences etc to honest i dont have a problem with this at all, i love and want to be with him no matter what—-but he seems to think this will be a problem long term and has already diagnosed the situation based on the the symptons its presenting right now—-So i have moved on and i refuse to try the ball’s in his court and if he wants to be with me he will fight for me even if he goes againt his culture and parents. Since we had the talk 2 weeks ago, I have not picked up my fone to call him, i have just disappeared into the unknown, my fone has bn switched off for a week coz i was away camping with the other youth in my church which was awesome. He text me and sent me several emails and i noticed a bit of attitude in the last one, I quote well hope u r ok, at least reply my emails if you want , hope u r ok lol. I refuse to sit there and wait??? I dont have that kindda time—I sense abit of undecisiveness on his part, that i dont like that its unattractive, make up ur mind, do u want me and accept me for me or do u want to listen to mummy and daddy and marry a gal from ur culture? As i said in closing to him THE BALL’S IN YOUR COURT… Ladies WHY is life so complicated????? I dont even wanna try anymore its just too terrifying for me, remember Mr I.T who was amazing in the beginning but turnrd out to be Mr Too Sensitive or Mr Fragile errr, then Mr Hottie who turned out to be Mr I am so NOT SERIOUS yuck??? I cant be bothered anymore. My Doc is the perfect man for me and maybe the only “normal man ” for me too, but i have to let him go as the saying goes “If u love something u have gotta let it go and if it comes back then it was truelly yours”…. Good luck ladies, will keep u updated…Thank u all

shysty

THANK YOU very much Lila!!! needed that. I kno it stinks, u wud have thot that those things shouldnt matter anymore in this day and age. He seems to have made up his mind coz he sent me a text apologising and saying how i will always be special to him. I dont wanna spk to him i just wanna move on now, my parents also want me to marry man from my faith ideally from my church which he isnt obviously, i personally do not mind as long as i am with him, if anything i stand to lose more as i will lose my culture, my identity and traditions to take his own up. I will move on now, focus my energies on other things. Again thank u very much, that was want my aching soul needed. We all worship the same God and with love and mutual understanding people can compromise and be happy!!! tk cr

shysty

THANK U for ur support Lila,

I kno me and my Doc do get on really well, i love him to death and i kno he loves me too, but i feel i cant do this on my own, we BOTH have to do this, i want him and its beginning to hurt now. I miss talking to him, his smell and his touch. I have tried to fill the void by talking to all my male friends and trying to go out but in doing that i feel like you when u r craving for chocolate take for example, you buy everything else but chocolate u can eat the whole world but still fill u need to eat that chocolate thats how how i feel, no amount of hunks will amont to him. And Lila i cant cant convince him, wot if he wants the same as his parents? In other words he has got to find out for himself wot he really wants in the mean time i wont talk to him he needs to know how it feels not to have me in his life and see if he can live without me—-I kno i cant coz im struggling here but he has to try and see, I will wait, but move on still. He needs to convince me that he loves me that much and this will prove how much he loves me i guesss.

Ur advice has made me feel better and thank u and guess wot he just got his own place too, wot a time uurrggh ?&*%$£$%. Thank u again, off I go to lick my wounds. Nice weekend all.

Me x

Lila

ShySty: Listen as a women that knows first had the down-falls of cultural demand, what I will say to you is if it’s a religious issue, the women carries the religion, so for a man their family expects that the women is the same as their sweet boy, even if it means conversion. Unfortunately and I hope I am wrong for you and him, if your relationship moves forward and he already made mention that this would be an issue, chances are it will, and he will conform to the family pressure… Young lady, think about it, God will love you either religion you choose, but maybe if you think he is worth it, you BOTH should discuss how important it could be for a future life together, and then if you feel this is worth your sacrifice then GO FOR IT! But if in your heart you may be resentful with the years, let your heart break and heal, then start again with someone that will share you believes… Oh honey I sure wish you well, I know how difficult a Jewish family can be and I also know that being disowned is one of those select words that is used, trust me I hear it, but then again I’m a women and regardless my daughter is still her mothers faith.. My very best!

In-Lov: Hold on to you doc, this man is fare and few between, ALL of the postings are of women that are in love with doctors that love them and simply don;t have the time, so MAZALTUF!!!! To you, you got the only fish in the medical ocean that has time for love!!!!

For myself, I am very happy, I just got a huge job in the South of France doing the design for a Yacht 105ft.. Go figure of a very well known celebrity (no name) what will happen is I need to leave after the yacht is delivered in late July and will probably be gone for a couple of months ….WOOOHOOOO Never had a gig overseas but business is so bad in the US that I had to become creative and I landed this very lucrative job….so my doc is not happy he will be joining me for a couple of weeks in late August he will need to re-arrange is schedule but I really don;t care, if he can or can’t I’m happy and he can see this so if he makes it will be a huge thing..I know he hates that I’m leaving but like I told him I have a business that needs income and this is a great opportunity…..If we are together when I return them fine, if not this will help me get over him, either way I’m very pleased, I had to travel to France 3 times before I got the job. Not to much construction in the States and the demand for my field is very bad so I’m THRILLED!!!!!

anna

MY friend has been dating a surgeon for almost 2yrs. they seem like a weird couple because she is 22 and he in his late 40s, but i visited them at their place and its so crazy how they fit so perfect. Its sad because her other friends made a bet they wouldnt last for 3mths but its going on 2yrs and they are still together. and she is black and he’s white so they also get those looks from people. the strangers they dont match but to us that know them they are so alike its weird.

shysty

Dan, i am inclined to agree with you. Speaking from a woman’s perspective, it doesnt take much for our suspicion bar to rise. Doctors are generally hard work, i think its the uncertainty that surrounds their busy schedules and also the ‘attractive’ and sometimes ‘loose’ nurses they tend to see see more than their girlfriends because they spend a lot of their time at work. I am sure you have come across a venting non-medical girlfriend???….understandably

sun time

I am so happy I found this website. I pretty much read all of the post and thought numerous times I am dating the same doctor… but I guess that just lets me know I am not alone. He has flaked on valentines day and my birthday.. just like the others on here… and like everyone else I don’t have any friends that are dating a doctor or ever have so they tend to be a little harsh when he cancles out on me or if we go a couple of weeks without seeing eachother. That can really get to you if you have never dated a doctor and have only had “normal” relationships. I just don’t get it… we all tend to be the same type that is not used to chasing after someone… usually the one being chased and yet we are so stuck on them…. ughh. And of course my doctor “friend” (we aren’t exactly exclusive but have been “seeing” eachother for a couple months…) is ridiculously handsome, obviously intelligent but kind of flakey in a cute way, thoughtful and has a great personality and sense of humor. Seeing we aren’t exclusive I wouldn’t mind seeing other guys but it seems like none of them really match up to him, because of course being women we are always going to “compare”. At least this website let me know that I am not alone in the “i really like him… right now” thing. LOL It seems like my feelings for him are day by day and I just hope that if it ever gets there that I won’t be too resentful for all of the days in a row without any calls or texts or the sometimes two and a half weeks without seeing eachother when we really only live about 40 minutes away from him…

sun time

hey podlove… i hate to say it but i have experienced the complete opposite… my doctor is the coolest guy ever and all of my friends LOVE him… but then again he goes days without calling and really doesnt have much time to spend with me… and the word LOVE is so far in the distance I kind of laugh at the thought… maybe we should combine our 2 doctors into one super doctor… the one thats down to earth, socially acceptable, and head over heals for us…

shysty

Thank you Sara, that book is outta window right now, actually in d gabbage….

Pod love WOW!!!!!! Ur doc sounds like he has some issues, sorry, but some of these successful people do have real problems, with all the money and intelligence you would think its enough. Just be careful gal, ask him if he’s on anti-depressants if so, then make sure u think about it carefully….See if you can live with that and support him the best way you can…

My Doc is amazing…He never gets upset ever. Although we are not physically together he is still very much in my life, he is my best friend. I love him to death, and i cant bear to imagine him outta my life. as we are not together physically all my friends want me to move on….which is probaly good advice??? But I feel i am not ready its bn 3 months since we ‘broke up’……This blog is the only place i can off load my feelings for my Doc, he is my life, my everything and i just wanna marry him oneday soon. He is very humble, calm and collected, gentleman and SUPER CUTE. I have never met a guy like him, its nuts, he’s EVERYTHING i want in a man. We had an ‘argumant ‘ over me and my PMT’d (Premenstrual Tension Syndrome )self, i get easily agitated and emotional its really bad. I was hysterical, i thought he’d never talk to me again, but he was very calm he knew i was under the influence of OESTROGEN or PROGESTERONE. Nothing physical, just me over analysing and concluding things. I think i have a good defence though.

Lila are you alright? how its going with the new man?

shysty

OMG its a bit hard to tell isnt it? Only time can tell if he’s genuinely in love with or on the rebound (i pray not)—Good luck

LSS

I have been reading all the posts on this website. I can relate to those who are crazy about the handsome doc that is never available. I have been dating a doc for about 4 months now. I am a nurse. To make it easy, let’s just call him S (right now I feel weird calling him “my” doc because I am not sure we are anywhere yet *sigh ). Well, S and I worked together for about one year, but he is at a different hospital now. I noticed him the first day he was there–he is the most attractive man alive (and I have never felt like this before!). Whenever he was on the unit I would try to find somthing big or small anything as an excuse to talk to him. I told him that the other day when we met (maybe I shouldn’t have, but I believe in being able to express my feelings freely with the one I love). S said sometimes he would also go to my unit just to see me even if he didn’t have anything to do. Umm, I don’t know if that is true, but I sure hope it is. He is the type of person that doesn’t say a lot of sweet things. So, when he once in a blue moon says something sweet, I hope it is true. He is kind, smart and yet humble, and has a sense of humor. I agree with the comment that I read here–he is rarely available, but when he does find some time for me, every minute with him is incredible. I live about 2 hours away from him, and we hardly see each other. I question myself everyday if this is what I really want–a great guy who is never available. I didn’t get to see him for almost 2 months sometimes. He doesn’t like to talk on the phone, and he sends one text message once every two days. Because I work with interns, I understand how demanding his career is, but I just don’t understand him sometimes. I am working 40 hours a week AT NIGHT, and I am going to school 2 days a week trying to be a nurse practitioner. However, I always find time for him, and what does he do? He cancelled most of our dates! I agree totally with the comment that a MAN + a degree in saving lives = a lonely girlfriend. At times I just want to give up, but then I have never felt anything like this before. I don’t know if I should fight hard for him and hope that when he is done with his residency that he will finally find some time for me, or suffer the heartache now while it is not so severe and move on? I am 22 and I haven’t had a lot of experience with dating, and he is 30 and I don’t think he wants to be serious right now. Should I wait till he is ready? Why does this have to be so complicated?

alexis

holy molly, ladies it is soooo stressful. If only i can move on. we all have similar stories. I dont even know what to call it, dating………. a surgeon,….duh… sad part is, we live 2 hrs away. we’re more live cyber lovers. The few times he comes around, his touch is like silk and the sex omg great, i even tried to date other guys, but so far i have’nt meet any soft spoken sweet, guy who open doors for me. I tried breaking up twice but he lives the conversation hanging and comes back like noting happened, then poor me i melt in his hands. It feels good to let all this out, at a place where we have common ground.

Bird I

this whole experience is very foreign to me,,, i have never dated anyone who postpones at the last minute or doesnt return my calls within 2 hours? only to call later and expect me to drop my plans coz now he is free!!!!!

how does one deal with this???

sun time

well i’m back… OF COURSE!! no matter how many times i tell myself im going to drop the doctor from my life we spend time together or have an amazing conversation on the phone and im completely hooked AGAIN… frustrating.

LSS and Alexis- i can completely relate to both of you… its been maybe 4 and a half months now and i don’t really know where our “relationship” is… if i can even call it that. And trust me you’re not alone… plans get cancled.. i go days without hearing from him and weeks without seeing him but his board exams are coming up so i don’t think it would exactly be the best time to have the “what are we” discussion. He is such an awesome guy that I made the decision to ride it out and see what happens because if it ends up good he is TOTALLY worth all of the frustration!! And I have also tried to date other guys but it just seems that I can never find someone that measures up to him!! At least i get to hear everyone else’s stories and i know i’m not alone and not sitting back looking stupid

LSS

thanks for all the support. i don’t know what i should do? he has his exams coming up. should i ignore him totally and wait till he decides what he wants to do with this relationship? i don’t know, i am confused.

LSS

sun time- Thank you so much for your input. Today I chatted with him for a little while on AIM (he never calls!). So, he was telling me he studied for most of the day but still has a lot to do. But guess what? One of his friends asked him to go to a baseball game, and yes he went! I think in my situation, he seems to put everything and everyone else first. Or is that normal for guys? He claims he doesn’t have time, but he will always find time to hang out with his family (which I understand completely) and his friends. Am I being needy? I don’t know. I always come last. We live about 2 hours away. I want to make it easier on him in the hope that he will make more time to see me, so every time we decide to meet up I go to meet him! Still, he canceled many times. He said he feels bad that I have to go so far to see him, and when he gets out late he doesn’t feel that it is worth it for me to go. I told him that I don’t mind the traveling because I understand that it is more difficult for him to come see me. He said he doesn’t like talking on the phone. I have accepted that too. But then what can I expect from a man that I like who claims he likes me too? The other thing that borthers me the most is that he never seems to be able to keep his words. When he said he is going to call or reply to my e-mail, guess what? He never did. He is a great person in many ways, but I am not sure I want to spend my time waiting for someone who cannot even keep his words. In my opinion, if you cannot do something, don’t promise someone that you are going to do it. I don’t even do this to my acquaintents! Am I being uptight and unreasonable? Are guys in general that way? He never seems concerned that we never ever get to spend time together. Sometimes I feel that this relationship doesn’t matter much to him at all. I feel that while I value his time very much he never really thinks that my time is valuable. I go to work 40 hours a week and starting grad school this semester taking 2 classes a week. I am just as busy as he is. And sometimes I feel that he doesn’t get that other people’s time is valuable too. I am sorry, I am venting a lot tonight.

I agree with you that maybe I should give him space so that he can focus on his exams. He has been working extremely hard to get to where he is, and I don’t ever want to stand in the way. I think right now I should just not contact him first. And maybe after his tests he will be more available. If things continue to be this way, I think that even though it hurts a lot to break up with someone I like that much, I think I am going to just end the whole thing. I never want to give up on him, I like him so much, and this is the first time I have ever felt this way about someone. He means a lot to me, but if I don’t mean much to him, then I should move on.

Sun time- Please keep me posted on what is going on with your case.

Bird I

LSS: what good traits does this guy have?, he cancels on you (which is i suppose the reason for this blog = unhappy Drs chicks lol), doesnt return ur calls/emails, neva keeps his word etc etc- you seem to be only pointing out the negative and dissappointments about him!! could it be that you are not on the same level?? he wants to take things easy and you want a normal relationship that can grow? if so talk to him about it dont tip toe around the poor guy and dont nag!!! better yet – has it always been like this from the day you guys met? unrealiable? is that the kind of relationship you are looking for here longterm? coz i doubt it changes hey!!.

ok – think about whether you are dealing with a man who is unavailable to you and avaialable to everyone else or you are dealing with a busy Dr who is dying to hear 4rm u, who thinks about u all the time,who wants to be with you against all odds… what will you eventually do with your unreciprocated feelings??? not returned calls,cancelled dates,not responded to emails – but baseball games with freinds etc etc.

yes i knw that these guys cancel on your like its getting out of fashion, but any interested guy makes time for you. i told the one i am dating now that look he is not the only one with a career and studying so he better make time when he can and show some willingness or hit the higway – he sort of has been showing up – even if its a drive thru lunch bottom line he makes time – mind you we an hour apart for a drive thru with a study buddy in the car.

LSS

sighs…well ladies what can I say. Maybe Bird I is right. Maybe S and I are not no the same page. But to make my dilemma clear, I will just mention a few good things about him. And you will know why I am so ridiculously into him.You know how doctors don’t usually do things that nurses do? Well, what got my attention in the first place was that one time when we worked together (he mostly works day and I work night, so I didn’t get to see him much at work). He went to see patients as usual. After he came out of a patient’s room, he went straight to the linen cart. I was thinking “what is this guy doing?” He went to get blankets for patients! I have met many wonderful doctors, and let me tell you something. NO ONE DOES THAT! Usually the doctors will come TELL the nurses to go get stuff for patients. At night, they examine the patients, give nurses orders, then they go to sleep! After that I notice that whenever he noticed that the nurses were busy, he would help out. He would draw his own labs, pull patients up the bed, I even heard that he gave patients bed pans! He is never arrogant (yes, I have seen quite a few of those! hate them actually). And he has this incredibly soft voice. I swear it has this power, lol, to just melt your heart. He is very funny. Before we went out, whenever he said something, I would laugh so much, I thought he was going to think that I am mentally unstable or something, lol. He is just very gentle. You know? Sighs…I think I am beyond help! S and I don’t work together anymore. He is working in a hospital in NY city. I miss those days when we did work together. I didn’t get to see him much, but at least I saw his more often than this. When he was there, I used to find all the reasons I could find to get him to my unit: renew orders, check on abnormal findings, anything I could find! He must have been annoyed with me to. However, he smiled a lot when he saw me, so I took it as a good thing. And yeah, his smile, I have never seen any guy with a more beautiful smile. It is ridiculous how BEAUTIFUL and HANDSOME he is. He is 6′1” and I am 5′2″, lol.

And to Shysty: even though he is 30, I feel that he is nowhere near ready yet. Don’t worry too much about the nurses–most of them are old, lol . Not to mention doctors are so busy running around. They are only interested in blood in the poop, not the nurses. Hahaha! I think you stand a really good chance with your doc. Lawyers have very high status, and he will be proud to tell his friends and family that he go out with you! Nurses don’t get good status at all. Some doctors assume that we are not intelligent. Well, I hope he is not one of them.

Well ladies, I have decided that I will have a talk with him after his exams. I mentioned before that he is gentle and sweet, but he doesn’t usually say those sweet things. He did mention to me that he is attracted to me more than anyone he has met. I hope that is true, but then I am really confused. If it is true, then why can he find some time for me?

Ladies, I value your input. Please give advice and keep me posted! Good luck to all of us. Hopefully our dreams will all come true.

in love

Hey ladies!
LSS – I’m glad to hear that you are moving on. He sounds sweet but clearly he is not ready for a wonderful woman like you.

Also, update on my doctor. We have been talking very seriously about marriage and all of what that entails… My sister is a certified marriage counselor so I assure you we have discussed everything (finances, house, kids, schools, engagement, wedding, religion, family, etc.) We will be getting engaged in February or March because I am finishing up my masters and he will be finished paying off some school loans AND (if he keeps up his good behavior ) We both agree that we would love a small intimate wedding of about 10 people (I am a firm believer that weddings are overrated and I want my closest and dearest family members there).

I want to tell you ladies something…Doctors are busy…but when they really love you they will drop what they are doing at the hospital, crawl underneath your car in scrubs and get your spare set of keys for you when you locked yourself out of your car (and you didn’t want to get your white pants dirty)… I have dated many men before who had less demanding jobs then my dr. and they never made the time, nor put the effort into our relationship. Yes there are times my dr. CAN’T do those things that maybe other men can, he IS a cardiologist. When dating a dr. you HAVE TO BE independent and happy by yourself!! You have to be able to go to meetings with him in places like San Diego and say to your self “ok, he’s in a meeting till 6pm and i’m in San Diego…I’m going to go shopping by myself, go to the beach by myself, go to museums/art exhibits by myself, etc.” However if he loves you he will like mine tells you and most importantly show you he loves you and is more than committed to you and your future together. So I wish you ladies the best of luck in love, life and the pursuit of happiness. You will find that one wether or not he is a doctor. When you do…. it will be the easiest relationship ever..you won’t have to worry, you won’t have to wonder, you won’t have to work so hard and feel like he’s doing nothing….you will KNOW when it is right. One more thing… after a really bad break up a few years ago and during a time of singleness I read a book called Why men love Bitches by Sherry Argov. It changed the way I looked at myself and the way I dated men. My dr. was the first man I dated after reading that book and it was my bible during the first few months. I recommend it for anyone who is in the dating field.

Again, Best of Luck! if you have any questions about dating a dr. feel free to ask!

In Love

LSS

In Love: congrats! I am happy for you. At least one of us is getting what we want.

I really broke up with S. He is a great guy, but I don’t feel that he is into me at all. And keep going back and forth won’t help either one of us. I am sad that it didn’t work out between us. Well, if I am going to be heart broken sooner or later, I prefer going through the pain now. I am never going to date anyone who can’t make time for me again. lessons learned.

Bird I

in love = happy 4 u
LSS = i am sorry.
it is very nice reading all your posts guys,, anyway, update on mine, he was on call on his birthday – but at least made time for lunch which was nice – introduced me to his frnd even – which i thought was cool, *wink wink*, anyway so was not feeling well the friday and i called him to told him i am not well have the flu and am going home for the day – what a suprise he actually came to pick me up took me to his place gave me medication, cooked for me,,, luv the attention really felt good – so he is a kind after all, am very impressed, things are gr8, ya!!!!

UNTIL,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, he gives me his new mobile to try figure out for him – anyway i am playing with this phone “facebooking”, taking pics, ,,,,, ANDDDDDDDD,,,,,,,I ended up scrolling down his pics (i knw i shouldnt have) but i was honestly just looking at the pics i had just taken – and i saw a pic of him with a girl out (looks like a date to me) looks like an old pic coz his hair was slightly longer than it is right now.

obviously i didnt ask – was too embarrassed – what was i going to say – hi i’ve only known you for about 2 months and already i am going tru ur phone – NO – so i just left it and went home left – he was puzzled as to why the sudden rush to leave – but i left nonetheless.

MY DILEMNA = should i ask if he has other relationships? should i ask to ‘define us’? am really not sure what to do here.

another dilemna = he kept sending me blank texts the entire weekend – so what on earth does that mean?

any suggestions?

Bird I

Shysyt –
update = so didnt ask him about the photos, ag really none of my business, decided to take a more mature approach, besides nothing gets hidden 4ever it will come out one way or the other.

the trick to dating is to date men that are more into you than you are to them, date someone that likes you more than you like them, stay away from men that you are sooo into, they never meet expectations, they literally just go along with you JUST!!! until they find someone whom they like……. dont be so hard on yourself thou, infact dont ever doubt your “hotness” or let anyone for that matter make you doubt your worth,,, he who cant see what a gr8 person u r is the idiot and loser not you. so girl common cheer up – u are not aalone – i am almost 30 not married,no kids, in this sort of thing that has no explanation yet!!!! oh and all my freinds are married – i have been a bridesmaid 4 times,,,,, I have changed my attitude towards men, i used to have a list of what i want,what he should look like, blah blah – and always used to go for guys that I liked not the other way around and used to wonder why men leave me,, but once i started dating people who approach me, pple who showed interest first (offcourse you have to be picky, there are a lot of frogs that approach out there) I am rather happier and enjoying myself even with this quandary of a Dr I am dating; who by the way is such a “jealous freak” my lord,,,, who sulked over a phone call i received on my mobile just because they were watching telly inside, so i talked and walked out – gosh he lost it!!! came back inside and he is like so who was that on the phone – i am like a frnd – the green eyed monster called jealousy had possessed and consumed him at that time – his BP is rising as he asks why i had to take the call outside – i am like becoz u watching tv and was gonna make a noise, besides i dont ask you who you talking to on the phone – yhhooooo i shouldnt have said that hey he was more mad- , and for the life of me i still dont get it. so i said i am leaving – and he started saying things like who is this man i am going to? is he the one who had just called me that i am running to? am i not enough for you? i told you i have been hurt before, no wait for it,,,,, he said “i told you i loved you”, the dude is almost in tears – i am creeped out like what???????????????? i should run for my life here,,,,,,i am trying to explain to him that it was a female that called me not a male, he wont hear of it – so i also got upset on some u will not speak to me that way – now we are fighting – he is upset and talking to me in a stern tone that i hate and he has never spoken to me like that before- so i stood up got in my car left his place.

so sunday i ask him if he is jealous, as in the jealous type? guess his response – “Its normal”

I AM SOOO PUT OFF,

LIFE IS EXCITING THOU YOU HAVE TO ADMIT – U MEET ALL SORTS OF PPLE OUT THERE!!!!!!!!!

shysty

@Bird 1—ur Docis doing wot most pple wud do. I wud be upset if a man had to excuse himself to talk, u shud have asked ur friend to call you back??? The thing is u left shortly after that which made it more suspicious??? I see his point, I think he has a reasonable ground for his behaviour—Come on gurrrl cut the dude some slack

shysty

Bird1, maybe apologise to him…I fink u owe him one in all honesty…..My Doc travelled and didnt call me whilst out there he came back on saturday morning, i didnt get a fone call till monday mornig at 7am, i picked but i was very brief, i didnt ask any questions i was just responding to his questions…he was like hey? i was like hey, u ok? YES, u been ok…YES, so he got off the fone and text me saying…I sounded very occupied is everything ok? i havent responded and i wont….I HAVE THROWN IN THE TOWEL ON THIS ONE TO BE HONEST so ………………………………………………………..

Bird1 No one is having luck out here….we are all in the hustle urrrgghh

shysty

@Bird1 I am glad u apologised—Doctors are very insure human beings, coz my doc says exactly the same thing—he has had gals he really likes walk out on him coz they cant take the lack of attention or time, I am sure the poor guy’s bn dumped several times…Well he called again last night and again I was very YES and NO he kept trying to find out whats wrong with me etc, I said i was fine and maybe a lil busy…he chuckled and goes ” I dont believe you, somethings up, is it family, school” I was like NOPE, im fine….The usual me would have picked up the phone and bn like”Hey baby how was ur day, how was work, and he would complain to me about how tired he is and how he’s just finished work, and i would be like aww my poor baby, dont worry when ur a consultant all this will be history” We laugh and I tell him about my day etc Im very chirpy, from all that to just NOPE OR YEAH….He then goes to say “Well, I came back saturday morning, was jetlagged, then sunday I had things to sort out, Im sorry I didnt call you earlier”. So he knows why I am upset, thats what’s upsetting me, he knew what he was doing. I had a reality check and to be honest, When I travel he’d be the first i would either text or call to say i arrived safely etc…it goes to show how much he really cares and to be honest I am not YET that desperate…maybe in like 50 years time if i am still single then, might reveiw the situation…….I am not happy either way, and maybe it best for me to be alone….

*****I bumped into my ex and I think he wants me back**** and my other ex called me too he wants to meet up….Have they all JUST WOKEN UP???? LOL—I dont do ex files LMAO

I do love my Doc very much, I grew to love him this much and i think i have bn very understanding in this situation, our sitaution is a bit complicated becoz his parents wont accept a girl that is not whr they are from (so he says anyway)I AM GOING TO TAKE the backseat, one thing i do know is a man will DO ANYTHING ABSOLUTELY anything to be with the woman he loves; men have flown across the Atlantic, Pacific to be with their loved ones and i think i deserve to treated thus!!!

Bird I

he 4gt my birthday – no wait he was working, towards end of the month they gt vry busy, so i decided to give him a call the afternoon and am like “dude – its my birthday 2day hw about a phone call,text message etc etc, so he is like oooohhhhh mmm ggooosshh i am soo sooooryyy i am having a terribly busy day, i am sori bbby plz 4gv me, come to where i am – even if its jst 4 a few minutes,, then he is like please can i call you back – i will call u back right now – then will come see you later at ur place” so am like ok kul….. Did he pitch?? did he phone – he was on call when i asked him to find someone to swop the call with,,, i waited we were supose to go out celebrate – he didnt phone,come or text NOTHING!! so i also didnt call him.

so he called me after 2 days obviously he has now forgotten his sins and needs my help,,, is looking for some number and is asking me a favour to run an errand for him – no actually go sort out his utility bill that i have been asking him to find time to sort out before it get too complicated – so what i did was sms him the number for the water department and said – next time u are looking for a number, please use the directory or google it. – He phone back to say thank you for the number and whats the other part of the sms suppose to mean? and is like i know i did wrong i am out of town – said i dnt wanna hear it goodbye. he said ok goodbye,,

havent spoken to him to him since – but i miss you terribly it hurts,, so many time i have hung up after dialing his number,,,, why is he not calling me?

i take it that is the end of us.

i dnt think i am cut out for this, its emotionally draining

skinny love

it is HARD to love a doctor.

shysty

Bird 1 thank u, but things didnt end that way did it? Well he kept calling me and asking me wot was wrong, i didnt tell him why i was upset BUT he figured out i guess being an intelligent man hey?? He goes Im so sorry for having not called u earlier blablabla…..So we are on speaking terms now…

…..I really dont know what to make of my situation with my doc, he is my best and i love him to death, on the other hand i think he likes me but i think he holds back a lot??? He is mysterious, i dont kno if this a good thing, it bn almost 2 years now and sometimes i feel i dont him at all???? I THINK I HAVE THROWN IN THE TOWEL ON THAT ONE…

I just had a guy who has liked me for 3 years tell me he wants me to be his wife WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!!! I am shocked he is dead serious and he said he will do whatever it takes OMG, i couldnt believe my ears. He is a lovely guy etc BUT I am not attracted to him in any way at all, i know he worships the ground i tread on and he would treat me right and be VERY available etcI think attraction is a big thing, my workmate too has just decalred his undying luv for and someon else wants me to give them a chance apparently I dont give men chances i am too preoccupied etc…..The thing is I DO NOT FANCY any of them at all….They are great guys……MUM’s advice was YOU NEED TO MARRY A MAN THAT LOVES MUCH MORE THAN U LOVE THEm, men u luv will never like u back FACT???? Maybe im going to ROT ON THE SHELF for life coz i cant be with someone i am not attracted to, its not fair….I wont even let them touch??? I cant do this HELP!!!!

BIRD1 call him and ask him wots wrong——there’s nothing wrong with being the first to make contact, it shows u r the bigger one and more mature one……I fink ur Doc likes u, u guys need to sit down and talk…

shysty

fanks Bird1….WELL SAID!!! If the truth be told iam frustrated….My Doc is there but he isnt really which is preventing me from meeting someone else. I really feel like telling him NEVER to call me again, or maybe I am in love with someon else just to make him disappear its ridiculous. I m in my late 20s and i ma going thru a ‘BRIGET JONES STAGE’ is absolutelyh horrible I hate it. I think I am going to summon my Doc for a meet up and then tell I DONT EVER WANNA SEE HIM, DO NOT CALL as a matter of fact delete my number, I must move on, that is true….I dont wanna be old and still be a spinster although thats how i feel to be honest. Thank u for all ur advice Bird1 I appreciate it. I should really move on shoulnt I its pathetic….:( OR maybe be silent and eventually he will get the message???

in love

I recommend just staying silent. He will get the message. Also, I think meeting up is a horrible idea because if he is a sweet talker (like most men) he could tempt you to give him a second, third, and eventually a tireless fourth try. Not worth it. He doesn’t make time for you so don’t you dare waste one drop of your time on him.

Ignore calls, texts, emails, etc. and then and only then will he be out of your life.

shysty

In Love—thank u for ur advice. That is true tho, its hard, he is the only man i have opened up to and in a way i feel obligated to have him around. But I fink meeting up is not appropriate for real.

Bird 1 thank u my luv, OH NO @ u n ur Doc, wow, it sounds final?? I just need to wake up and have this guy out of my system, the thing i have done it before,i find that i can do without him, he calls more than i call him (we have a ‘virtual relationship’) but the minute i finalise things i.e when i tell him i dont ever wanna see him etc thats when all the feelings come back?? WIERD.

I need to be alone for some time, in order to get myself back etc.

Bird1 all the best and i am sure u wont be single for too long.

In love thank u again.

Byeeeee

Bird 1

So afta a 2 wk silence, h z back, calling telling m h missed m, wants a child with m, has thought about this en hw h feels bout m blah blah blah, this is ova the phone mind u, so am like look i can meet w talk we agree on day, the only thing i had asked hm was where has he been? Anyway, he decides t drive all the way t where i live with flowers t apologise, i dnt pick my mobile so dnt see hm, this i find out when we met to talk as agreed which had t b done in the car coz he was on call,, long and short he z apologizing i am telling hm i moved on,,

Freedom Lover

Well Hello gang! I just spent over an hour reading all of your posts. I guess I can join your club. I came upon this site a while ago when my heart was hurting, but never took the time to read it. It has taken me a long time to get to a point of happiness in the relationship with my “doc”, but I can finally say that I am happy.

For the longest time I let him hurt me again and again. Canceling on me. Not showing for B-days, V-days, dinner plans, etc., etc. But I never wanted to seem demanding( didn’t want to scare him) but meanwhile I was falling in love with this man so i remained calm and supportive. It wasn’t until I started traveling for work that things began to change.

I am about 7 years younger than he is and when I began traveling I fell in love with it. I loved site seeing, exploring new cultures,and meeting new people. The more I started to care about my own things the less I was bothered by his absence. I would still phone him randomly because I still thought the world of him, but I loved my new world. I think this must have gotten to him- because he started reaching out to me more. He was the one that asked me if i was seeing anyone else. He waned to be exclusive. And we are and when I am with him it is amazing and now it is easier to be without him because I know I have his heart. Plus I still have my love and freedom with traveling.

While dating these men–you find you have a lot of free time. It is grand. I don’t think they realize that all we want are their HEARTS- not their TIME. Hell, I didn’t realize it myself until reccently and now I am happy.

Mumblz

Oh where do i start? I have feelings for my psych dr. I can usually tell when an attraction is more than just a passing fancy. To pop crushes, I nip them in the bud by finding something absolutely repulsive in the other person. This time it’s very difficult. I genuinely like my dr. as a person.
It’s not just the old “hey what a hottie”, “Bet I can hit that” sort of thing.
I actually have straight up talks with the dr. and want to hear and cooperate with what is suggested. I am now embarrassed because i know this dr. is very smart and it is inappropriate on my part to feel this way.
When I have an appointment, I am starting to get panic attacks because I am afraid the Dr. will notice my attraction. I act like a complete ass, rushing through the session, putting emphasis on getting meds, when what I really want to do is just sit and talk with her. It doesn’t hurt that she is a natural beauty as she is naturally attractive without makeup, or frilly girlie clothes. I feel like I’m turning 14 again with my first crush. Why is this happening? Can anyone help me sober up before I mess up a good break on a great doctor.

molly

I started dating a CV surgeon 4 months ago. This group is so great, I have gone through ALL the same stuff! He has very little time, I am busy too, so that works out pretty well. I think their unavailability is a big part of the attraction. I wish I hadn’t started up with him, now I’m stuck. I can’t date anyone else when I am emotionally tied to him. So I just wait and hope he breaks up with me! I know a surgeon is an adrenaline rush-loving person. I am that way too since seeing him. I don’t like being that way, I prefer a contented, placid partnership. But instead I get this. I feel like it’s some kind of weird Karma I have to work out. For all the guys I treated like I’m being treated now!