Sep 3rd, 2007
Ten Great Ways to Compliment a Man
With the launch of our new compliments soundboard I have flattery on the brain. It’s not just women that need to hear nice things, men deserve to feel good too. Based on my experience, here are ten things men want to hear from women.
1. Laugh at his jokes. Even if they’re not that funny.
2. Compliment his athleticism. All men want to feel like quarterbacks.
3. Value his successes. No matter how small the success, men like to know we look up to them.
4. Compliment his intelligence. Whether it’s trivia at the bar or a news story he feels compelled to talk about, respond by saying things like: “That’s really interesting. How do you know all this? I’m impressed.”
5. Ask him to fix something you know he can fix. If you ask to fix something he can’t, he may feel insecure. Changing light bulbs is a safe one.
6. Tell him your friends think he’s hot. But maybe not tell him who thinks it exactly.
7. Compliment his choice of movie or TV show. It may not be your favorite, but at least agree to watch it from time to time.
8. Be impressed by his strength, even if all he did was open the pickle jar.
9. If he buys you flowers or orders an appetizer, smile and say thank you.
10. Compliment his car. “I love your rims. I know so little about cars, but I’m really psyched about your V8.”
“I love your rims,” if I had a nickel for every time I heard that one.
hey sara!
i love your site. i’d like to add a link to you on my blog but am so new at this i can’t figure out your URL.
please send it to me and i will link…
thanks!
ps. i have a lot of clients who could really benefit from the info on your site!
Dave, you make me laugh.
u couldnt be more wrong about complements sara
u couldnt be more wrong
what is a good compliment then?
Don’t tell a man that he looks like somebody else. Through the course of my life people have told me that I looked like other people. The other night some woman I was talking to told me I looked like the current bachelor. Most people would be flattered by this, but I look like me.
Just like when I see a woman who looks like somebody famous, I might say that so and so looks like you and not that you look like them.
If you tell somebody you look like so and so, that is like saying they aren’t there own person.
That’s deep. I see your point especially because I get it all the time too.
Who are you told that you look like? I go to a nice martini bar every once in a while and there is a young woman that is in there often too. I went up to her and said that Elisabeth Shue (who has natural beauty) looks a lot like you and then walked away. 30 minutes later she came up to me, we talked for a while and then she gave me her phone number.
I think that complimenting a man or a woman is a good thing no matter how you do it. Compliments are something that makes people feel good and I do not see how you could go wrong. If you are the type that have a hard time accepting compliments, then the best way to respond is to just simply say “Thank you.”
These days people seem to have forgotten about manners and all I hear are complaints, so I make sure that I compliment at least one stranger a day. Remember, smiles are contagious.
By the way Sara, I think this was a wonderful site and, if anything, it should give women a good idea of what to start looking for if they ever decide to compliment their man.
I agree being told that someone looks like a famous person mey not be a good thing. I get told all the time I look Ben Stiller honestly I am told that about twice a month I have even had a woman hounding me for an autograph. Grant it, that was during Mardi Gras and she was three sheets to the wind but having a crowd stop and look at you on Bourbon Street is very imbarassing. Now if I had his income I most likely would not mind but I don’t think I look like him nor does my best friend and I personally don’t think he is good looking. So for me its not a compliment at all and a person does get tired of total strangers in public asking “has anyone ever told you…” and even after you say “Yes all the time!” they turn to whom there with “dosen’t he look like….” as they point kind of makes me feel like a sideshow at times.
I like reading things like this–it can be enlightening to hear people’s ideas on this, especially if you’re not talking about this stuff with your friends. Sometimes you can realize new things about life and people from reading. But I think the greatest compliments, the ones that people really feel, are the ones that come from your heart. Maybe if we set out to educate our hearts, rather than to win somebody, that meeting somebody will be a more harmonious, lasting, honest thing. Playing charades takes a lot of energy. And not just your own!
How many people feel angry because of the tricky way a romantic partner spoke to win them, but turned out to have had harder feelings? How UNpleasant it is to hear ‘compliments’ spoken like the magic words or a button onscreen?
Sara, the main idea is good - that compliments are always welcome. And they should be given freely. But I’d go further and say that they should sound like they really fit the situation without being gushy. Complimenting a guy’s strength for opening a pickle jar can come across like, “Oh, what a big, strong man you are!” That sounds a bit goofy and insincere. It’s much better to phrase it in a way that fits the situation… “Thanks for opening the pickle jar. I just don’t have your strength.” Or even about his car… Don’t say, “I know so little about cars, but I’m really psyched about your V8.” That doesn’t sound plausible. Better to say, “I don’t know much about cars, but you sound excited about your V8. What makes it so good?” The compliment is more subtle here… You’re telling him that he knows more than you do, and you’re asking him to show off his knowledge.
Thanks for all the great comments. It’s nice to see that people are interested in the topic of compliments.
Complimenting with sincerity is important. It shouldn’t be fake or come off fake, ever. But depending on your personality you could truly be impressed by a V8. For some it might sound ridiculous, but for someone like me who really is impressed by a fast car it will sound sincere.
get over yourselves—–everybody more or less looks like somebody else—but nobody is actually me–OR you—i hate this yuppy shit—dont mind saying it but ive always been handsome im told–my problem is—IM NOT A PUSHY SHIT–and i hate people who are–have a nice day—–go OU—go RED WINGS
Eloquently put. you are the man john!