Dating Tales

You winked, he winked and wrote an e-mail saying “What’s up?” So now what do you write? I’ll tell you what not to write: “Nothing. What’s up with you?

This is a list of the seven things you should avoid or be sure to do in your e-mails.

1. He can start the conversation, but so can you. Show initiative and start the conversation. In life being passive never pays so if you’re interested write him and say so. You could write something like: “I’ll tell you the boldest thing I’ve done if you tell me yours. I’m interested in getting to know you.”

2. Asking a lot of good questions. Talking too much about yourself is a huge turnoff. Wait to be asked questions before giving your speech “So, about me.” He looked at your profile and knows a little about you already, he’ll be more interested if you ask him why his favorite author is David Sedaris or why he lived in Japan for so long.

3. Keep him guessing about you, but not for that long. It’s good to keep him intrigued, but if you wait too long to return his e-mail or call he may forget about you and move on to the next match. If you ask him to tell you about the boldest thing you’ve ever done, be sure to tell him about yours within a few days after he does. In this same vein, if he asks for your number or to meet you, don’t wait a week to respond.

4. Avoid the e-mail love affair. Many people give good e-mail. It’s exciting to log into your e-mail account and find three new e-mails from this new, interesting guy. But what happens when you fall for the e-mail version of him, but meet the real him and have zero attraction? I suggest meeting him after the first five or so e-mails. You’ll be bummed to lose an e-mail lover you’ve grown attached to.

5. Copy and Paste: Don’t. You’re likely to make a mistake if you send the same “about me” e-mail to three online matches. A friend of mine did this and she sent the same e-mail to one guy twice AND she didn’t change the name at the top. He never wrote back.

6. Just the right size. One complaint a lot of men have about women is that they talk too much. Although I’ve seen studies showing that men talk more than women, I do know from experience that some guys get freaked out by “chatty Patty.” Don’t write a long e-mail until he does. Once he does (if he does) then you’ll know he has the patience for it. I suggest keeping the e-mail to two short paragraphs.

7. Send an e-mail after the first date. I think it’s nice to get a follow up e-mail even if I’m not interested. It’s a polite thing to do.

I dated this great guy in college. Without sounding cliche, he really was a nice and considerate guy. Things were never that serious, but I remember hoping that it would be.

That summer when we dated, he went on a family trip to Las Vegas. (Red light, red light. Who takes a family trip to Vegas? In the summer no less.) I saw him off that day with a casual lunch and and we planned to speak when he returned in a few days.

Like clockwork, he called the afternoon he got back and asked me to go on a hike. Of course I said yes and even told a few of my roommates how nice it was to finally be dating someone who was eager to go out and do things at random times for no reason at all. It was a fairly short hike, maybe an hour total, but about 20 minutes into the hike he said, “So have I ever told you about my last girlfriend?”

He began to tell the story of their off and on relationship and how throughout their relationship she had also grown close to his family, which is why she went to Las Vegas with him, by the way. While on the trip the two managed to rekindle their relationship so things probably weren’t going to work out for him and I.

Well of course things weren’t going to work out, but what I couldn’t understand was why he was telling me atop a mountain. Why not over a drink? Why not on a short walk around the block? Instead, he decided to tell me on a hike where I had no choice but to talk to him for the next 40 minutes about his decision to get back together with his ex-girlfriend.

The urge to jump on his shoulders and take him down right there on the trail was pretty strong, but I refrained because I didn’t want to walk all the way home.

Inspired by a previous post and motivated by my own need to feel good daily, we created a compliments page. What is this compliments page, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. At the top you’ll notice a link titled “Compliments.” By navigating here you can chose to receive one (or more) of dozens of accolades whenever you feel.

I’m still working to grow the list of the best compliments a man can give a woman, so feel free to keep commenting and let me know your favorite flattering remarks. We’ll expand the compliments page down the road, but for now get to clicking. There is a sexy voice waiting for you. Hope you’re flattered.

I’ve never dated a clown. I’m not sure that the pros outweigh the cons, but it sure does make for good blogging.

Wedding season brings stress for everyone not just the parents of the bride and the happy couple themselves. It seems that guests feel just as much pressure about the gift, the attire, and especially the date.

Are you looking for a date? Here are some ideas:

1. Ask a guy friend you consider to be in the safe zone
2. Bring a female friend or family member. Nobody said it had to be a boyfriend, right?
3. Post something on your online profile saying you’re looking for wedding dates this summer. There are men out there in need of dates too and might be in for a trade.
4. Go alone and make an effort to meet someone there.

To alleviate some of this pressure, of course there are limitless resources on the web. I took some time to find sites that might help. Check them out and let me know what you think.

The unique wedding gift at Stupid Wedding Crap
Engagement gifts? at Always a Blogsmaid
What to wear and at what time on the WeddingChannel.com
What to do with your once worn bridesmaid dress at From “I Will” to “I Do”
Timely wedding news, trends, creative ideas, and more at Bridalicious
Sign up for your online dating profile today