Mr. Little Shorts

One of my favorite songs from a few years ago is “Dumbo Sun” by Tracy Bonham. The line: “There was a man in a yellow thong, he was doin’ his yoga and doin’ it wrong” always struck me as funny. It was especially funny because I wondered what in the world would inspire that line.

Well, now I know. Apparently doing yoga in slinky bottoms is not that uncommon.

I don’t know this man’s name, but I’ve come to call him Mr. Little Shorts and all I know about him is that he loves hot yoga and is always front and center in my yoga class. He starts practicing his yoga before class even begins, which only makes everyone giggle. Does he know?

If I happen to get there a little early before the doors to the studio open, Mr. Little Shorts is always outside waiting too. He waits in a t-shirt and his Speedo-type shorts making eyes with all the girls and occasionally mustering the courage to talk to one of us. I’ve learned that if he approaches me I should never let the conversation go longer than a minute or two because at that point he will ask me out for a drink. He’s asked me three separate times.

Maybe I’m not being fair. It’s true that I don’t understand extraordinarily tight britches to begin with. It’s a Mediterranean style choice and by the looks of him he’s very Mediterranean (holy hair ball!), so I shouldn’t judge. But seriously, to wear tight bottoms at yoga with all the bending backward and forward, moving your rear up and down, and spreading your legs apart and so on it’s so uncouth!

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