Marriage Proposals Gone Awry

For some reason I keep hearing stories of marriage proposals gone awry. Not because he botched the job, but because she spoke too soon.

I received a surprise wedding invitation last week from my college friend, Rachel. I called the next day to get the whole story. You know what are the colors, what does she really want off the registry and, of course, how did he propose?

The answers were blue, something small and easy to return, and well he didn’t really ask, I sorta ruined the surprise.

Turns out the day before Ryan proposed she told a story of a co-worker who proposed to his girlfriend on Christmas Day. Rachel went on and on about how that was a total cop out and a real proposal should come at a romantic time not the most commercialized, generic holiday of the year.

Ryan went silent and the next morning Rachel didn’t have a gift under the tree. Confused and disappointed, Rachel kept silent pouting the whole day at her parent’s house. It wasn’t until the morning of the 26th that Rachel figured it out. She opened her eyes to see Ryan lying in bed with a small box next to him on the pillow. Apparently he wanted to get engaged on the 25th, the most commercialized day of the year.

Another friend of mine ended up with an injury over the matter. After weeks of ring shopping with her boyfriend, Janet left the mall frustrated she couldn’t find what she liked for the right price.

After about the fifth sigh in 30 seconds, her boyfriend looked over at her from the driver’s seat and said with a smile, maybe you don’t really need a ring.” Without hesitation Janet lifted her hand to playfully karate chop his knee. He, of course, saw it coming as it was her trade mark move and moved his legs to the right. At that moment, Janet karate chopped the metal seat belt insert and fractured her left hand.

Today, Janet’s left hand is entirely wrapped and her engagement ring is taped to her right ring finger.

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