My Match Thought I was a Stripper

My friend Elizabeth is a little timid when meeting a new boy. Getting past the first phone number exchange, the first phone call, the first date, the first kiss, the first sleepover all of it is stressful.

I know that she is not alone. In fact, I think most of us have anxiety over dating. It’s awkward, nerve-wracking, and downright intense, but I remind myself that it’s totally worth it. If it weren’t for the potential of that amazing first kiss, I’d never have the courage to go on another first date again.

In Elizabeth’s case, though, I blame Max, a professional wedding DJ. She met Max last summer at a friend’s wedding (no surprise). With the encouragement of her friends and three glasses of wine, she graciously gave him her phone number.

One first down, only four more to go.

They played phone tag for almost two weeks. The momentum was gone. With 14 days having gone by, she couldn’t remember what he looked like and so was satisfied with being “it” indefinitely.

Another week went by and suddenly Max started calling again, except this time at 2am, 3am, and 4am for three nights in a row. His messages were always the same. “Hey Elizabeth, I thought we were going to meet up after you got off work. Call me.”

Obviously she was confused especially since she got off at 5pm. She ignored his calls altogether until the next week when her phone rang right as Grey’s Anatomy came on.

“Hello?”

“Hey, I’m here. Aren’t you on tonight?”

“Is this Max?” Elizabeth asked. “Do you know who this is?”

“Yeah, Elizabeth it’s Max,” he laughed. “What’s up, why aren’t you at Shotgun’s?”

Elizabeth went silent. She wasn’t offended; just clueless why he would think she’d be “on” at Denver’s biggest strip club.

“Hello, Elizabeth? Seriously what’s the deal?”

“Uhhhh. I don’t think you know who I am.” I met you at my friend Jenny’s wedding two weeks ago. Do you think I’m a stripper?”

Now it was Max’s turn to go silent.

“I have the wrong Elizabeth, sorry. But hey, I’ve been meaning to get a hold of you. Interested in a few drinks? I think I have some time tonight.”

Without a clever come back, she closed her cell phone and sat silent until I came over with the pizza and beer. I’m telling you, Elizabeth hasn’t been the same since.

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